He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart. // Luke 2:51
The change happened slowly. Month after month, my husband and I continued to face the stark reality of infertility, and my heart began to sink into dark places—places I had never been before.
Every pregnancy announcement and every comment about motherhood, whether it be good or bad, started to prod open a festering wound that had taken root within me. I started to think uncharitably, harboring bitterness and jealousy towards other women.
I confessed this to a priest one day, desperately needing a safe place to lament my struggles, and feeling guilty for having these ugly thoughts. I’ll never forget his response.
“When you experience a moment that’s painful for you, I want you to place your hand over your heart and silently say to yourself, ‘Jesus, I know you are here with me right now.’”
I was totally taken aback by his tender suggestion.
I didn’t have to clench my fist and attempt to repel those moments of pain, but rather open my hand and invite Jesus into my heartache. They became opportunities to let His healing grace wash out the enemy's venom.
It still hurt—but Jesus was there. And it made all the difference.
As I reflect on the Immaculate Heart of Mary, our feast for today, I’m struck by the fact that her heart was human, too. She experienced all the female emotions, just like us. She says herself that she was filled with anxiety amidst the search for her lost Son (see Luke 2:48). Think of all the other moments of her life when she was likely filled with worry, fear, sorrow, and frustration.
Mary “kept all these things in her heart,” as women do best, but she let Jesus dwell in those painful places as well. She welcomed Him with total surrender.
Sister, are there things kept in your heart that are causing you pain? I invite you to put your hand over your heart right now, and ask your Divine Healer to meet you there, in the hidden places. Ask the Immaculate Heart of Mary to show you how.
Jana Zuniga Pingel is an artist and designer based in Colorado Springs, where she resides with her husband. She earned her B.A. in Studio Art from Saint Mary’s College in South Bend, Indiana. She is the founder and owner of January Jane Shop, an online boutique for Catholic art and goods. When she isn’t busy doing entrepreneurial things, she’s cooking a new recipe, hiking a mountain, or party planning.
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