Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking talking more about fertility. We'd love for you to join the conversation! As a single woman, I can recall with ease the items on my own “life goals” list: Be accountable to a daily habit of prayer...be purposeful about deepening healthy friendships...never take Mass for granted...rediscover a lost hobby... For many of my early single years what was not at the top of any goals list of mine was to gain a deeper understanding of my fertility. While I grew up in a home in which my parents honored the teachings of the Catholic Church and willingly practiced natural family planning (NFP) and fertility awareness, it really didn’t come to the forefront of my own mind and heart until I was well into my twenties. A “Fertility Conversion” I was 25 at the time and living in a house of seven young professional Christian women. I remember with great clarity standing in my kitchen making dinner and having an eye-opening conversation with a roommate about how that “weird mucus” I was seeing when going to the bathroom was actually a key indicator that I was entering my fertile time and preparing to ovulate. This was news to me, and I was stunned. I was painfully aware of how little I knew about my own fertility, but I was committed to diving in and learning more. With the prompting of a friend I found myself learning the Creighton Model FertilityCare™ system, one of a few effective ways to monitor fertility to achieve a pregnancy, avoid a pregnancy, or in my case, simply monitor and care for reproductive health. Years later, I would become a Creighton Model practitioner myself, and have since worked with hundreds of women and couples who desire to more deeply understand their God-given fertility. It’s Not Just About Having a “Regular” Cycle As I often remind my clients, charting a menstrual cycle is far more than knowing “about how long” your cycle is or when your period is about to start. It’s about recognizing what a healthy period is (and what it is not), what a healthy ovulatory time is (and what it is not), and what a healthy post-ovulatory time is (and what it is not). It’s about being attentive to the emotional and psychological changes that come throughout the cycle and recognizing that these hormonal cascades are a beautiful symphony that God has orchestrated within us. Being attentive to the patterns of our cycles is one of the best ways to know when we are well and when we are struggling. While I love working with engaged and married couples and helping them to confidently identify their times of fertility and infertility, I have to say that some of my favorite clients are just like me—single women. Sometimes they show up to my classes with a simple desire to learn. Other times they are struggling with health concerns like endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome, heavy periods, or debilitating PMS. Beginning to chart is the first and best way for these clients to observe their own unique cycles so that they can get to the root cause of their health concerns and seek treatment. [bctt tweet="Being attentive to the patterns of our cycles is one of the best ways to know when we are well and when we are struggling. #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"] A Window Into My Own Health Most recently in this highly stressful time (thank you, pandemic) I’ve seen first-hand how stress can impact my cycle, making it feel less like the orchestral piece that it is designed to be. Charting the signs of my fertility has given me a clear window into my own health, reminding me that if I want to care for my fertility I need to eat well, sleep well, step away from screens, go on long walks in these picturesque autumn days, breathe deep, and find time for conversations with God. My chart is the starting point for all of that. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY A Gift for All Women While the practice of natural family planning has grown by leaps and bounds over the past few decades and I am deeply grateful for the wisdom of the Church to guide our conversation, in many ways we are still coming to realize and affirm that methods of fertility awareness are not just for engaged or married couples. They are for single women, too, who can greatly benefit from the wisdom that comes from charting. Whether you marry in six months, marry much later in life, or discover a religious vocation, charting is a beautiful practice for all. Age doesn’t matter. Knowing your cycle, and knowing it well, is a gift for all women. If you aren’t charting your cycle yet and all of this is new to you, it’s okay. Remember my story? It took me a while to get there, too. Put it at the top of your own “goals” list. Take that first step to put those beautiful orchestral notes down on paper. It’ll be totally worth it, I promise.   If you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Fertility // Charting While Single #BISblog //" via="no"]

Today marks a feast day in the Church that gives much solace and hope to my heart. It is the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes, which is the day we commemorate the Virgin Mary’s first appearance to young Bernadette Soubirous in the village of Lourdes, France in 1858. St. Bernadette’s Special Mission of Healing The story goes that young Bernadette was the eldest of nine children. Her family was very poor—so poor, in fact, that their only housing was the cellar of the former jail in Lourdes. It is believed that the Virgin Mary first appeared to Bernadette while she was out gathering firewood for her family on February 11th, 1858. The Blessed Mother was clothed in a white gown and blue sash with yellow roses at her feet. She continued her appearances to the young girl for a number of days, only confirming her identity during the sixteenth visit. Our Lady prayed the Rosary with Bernadette, implored her to tell the clergy to build a chapel there at the Grotto of Massabielle, and to pray and make sacrifices for the sake of all sinners. In one conversation, Our Lady implored Bernadette to scratch into the soil near the river, and from that place a spring of water flowed. Since the first apparitions, close to 70 instances of healing have been meticulously documented by those who bathed in the water of that same spring. On that Same Riverbank A century and a half after the first vision, I was one of those pilgrims who came seeking healing. At the time of my pilgrimage, my heart was filled with brokenness: a romantic relationship had just ended and my father was in the end stages of Alzheimer’s. I felt an acute ache for healing in my heart like I had never felt before. I was not like the usual Lourdes seekers—those with cancers, paralysis, or or other physical infirmities—but I needed healing, too. And so, outside the grotto and on the banks of St. Bernadette’s river, I prayed for myself and my fellow pilgrims. Over, and over, and over again. Waiting for a miracle. We Don't Get to Choose Our Healing Timeline When I look back on that time in Lourdes, I can’t say that I was healed of those things that very day. In fact, I didn’t have any say in the timeline of my heart’s healing. I came back to the U.S. with my still-broken heart and had to continue to move forward with my work, home, and family life. But I do know that during my time at Lourdes and after, I was heard, loved, and cherished. I know that Our Lady was there as my Mother. She was tending to my broken heart and reminding me of the hope that her Son promised. I know that she came alongside me and held me close, just as she did for St. Bernadette. In time, I found the healing I so desired. Finding Joy in the Healing He Chooses Yes, Our Lord healed me, but in far greater and better ways than I ever could have hoped for myself. Through much prayer and counsel, I’ve found deeper relationship wounds in need of healing and have made the space in my life to work through them. I’ve grieved the death of my dad and know that this, too, is being worked out in my heart. I smile because I know I am not one of the “official” 66 miracles at Lourdes, but I still count myself among them! I’ve found peace in the love He has for me as a Father and in my identity as His beloved. Healing is daily work, and I trust that it is being done, even though I’m no longer on those riverbanks. “I do not promise you happiness in this world, but in the next...” On the third appearance of Our Lady to St. Bernadette on February 18th, she uttered a promise that gives me much hope. She said: I do not promise you happiness in this world, but in the next.   Our Lady’s words remind our hearts that our earthly lives can be hard. Sometimes we have to really be on the lookout for joy, don’t we? Even St. Bernadette suffered great rejection at the hands of those who did not believe in the apparitions. She was never cured of the tuberculosis of the bone that eventually took her life at the age of 34. She wasn’t healed in the way that perhaps most would have wanted, but in a much deeper way. St. Bernadette knew the Lord loved her and that she was a precious, chosen sheep. Her healing and her joy was found in her beautiful unity with the Father in Heaven. Our Lady of Lourdes Gives Me Healing and Hope When my life is hard, or when those in my family struggle, I remember the story of St. Bernadette and Our Lady of Lourdes. I take comfort that Mary intercedes for me whenever I ask her to do so, knowing that she desires healing for you just as she does for me. Have you ever been to Lourdes? What was your experience like? [bctt tweet="Our Lady of Lourdes and Her Love of Healing #BISblog //" via="no"]

For a brief period of time in my young adult life I explored a vocation as a high school science teacher. As I immersed myself in the day-to-day joys and challenges of classroom life, I found myself developing a fond devotion for the Italian saint we celebrate today: Saint John Bosco. The beloved “Don Bosco”, as he preferred to be called, turned out to be my intercessor for every single kid who was struggling with home life, with a particular sin, or with memorizing the minutiae of some tough concept in biology or anatomy. In a special way I asked for his intercession whenever I knew one of my students felt unloved, unwanted, or unseen. Don Bosco held a particular love for such young people. What St. John Bosco Would Want Us to Know about the Youth If you’ve never read any books on this mid-19th century Italian priest with a love for youth, this little one is a gem. Whether you work with youth as an educator or youth minister, or whether you are simply a parent, godparent, aunt, or big sister, you know that the challenges facing our youth today are many. I often wonder, if dear Don Bosco were alive today, what wisdom he might offer for bringing the hearts of today’s youth to the heart of Christ. Our hearts form their hearts. St. John was born impoverished into the little village of Becchi, Italy, in the summer of 1815. By the age of two, he has already lost his father to pneumonia. He began his discernment toward the priesthood as a young boy, and would often find that Our Lady would visit him in his dreams, encouraging him as he steadfastly saved the money necessary to attend seminary. I find it striking that Don Bosco, fatherless from such a young age, would go on to become a spiritual father to hundreds of orphan boys. It was as if the Lord was preparing his heart to be attentive to the needs of young men and boys who were grieving similar losses. It reminds me that the Lord continually uses the crosses of our own lives to connect with the hearts of our youth. Confidence and love. “You can do nothing with young people unless you have their confidence and love,” St. John was known for saying. At an early age, St. John connected with a traveling circus, and learned from them the arts of juggling and acrobatics. He’d later use those skills to attract school children to a performance, only to follow it with a preaching of the homily he had heard earlier in the day! Good Don Bosco knew that souls come to Christ through relationship. His playful, unassuming character meant that youth were drawn to him and trusted him. This formed the foundation for their relationship. Our Sacraments become their Sacraments. Don Bosco’s approach wasn’t all fun and games, though. Fiercely devoted to the sacramental life, to prayer, and to the study of Scripture, he continually availed himself of the Sacraments and encouraged his boys to do the same. An afternoon of soccer in an Italian field, for example, would always be followed by Mass and Confession. St. John’s love of Christ and His mother couldn’t help but rub off on the boys, who desired to emulate their spiritual father in all things. At one time one of Don Bosco’s younger boys had his heart set on making a good Confession. According to author F.A. Forbes, the story goes something like this: Boy writes his sins down on a piece of paper. Boy promptly loses them. Boy is found in tears by Don Bosco. “What’s the matter?” he asks. “I have lost my sins.” “Good business!” says Don Bosco encouragingly. “You will go straight to heaven if you have no sins.” “It’s the paper where I’d written them,” the boy persists, “I can’t find it!” The boys face lights up as Don Bosco pulls the list of sins out of his pocket and he quips, “If I’d known it was you who had them, Father, I should just have said, ‘Father, I accuse myself of all the sins you have in your pocket.’” The tenderhearted approach that Don Bosco had with his youth is a reminder that our young people will find a home in the Church when they know that they are first, loved, and second, forgiven. But it must start with ourselves. Are we also finding mercy in the Sacraments and inviting our youth along for the same? We could learn so much by Don Bosco’s example. "Always leave something with Providence.” While Don Bosco’s imprint on the hearts of Italian youth was impressive, his pocketbook was not. He was born poor and died poor. Between birth and death he was always begging for one thing or another—money for a new church or school or other program for his growing Oratory for boys. “Leave something with Providence,” he would often say. By that he meant that in spite of the most magnificent plans we can make, God is always the one who meets our needs. Perhaps we can be mindful of that wisdom in our own work with youth. We may pour in hours of sacrificial time and energy but ultimately, our children’s hearts are in the hand of Providence. Don Bosco entrusted everything to the Lord, and we can, too. “A largeness of heart as the sand on the seashore.” John Bosco died on January 31st, 1888. His last message for his many dear spiritual sons was this: Live together as brothers, love each other and bear with each other. The protection of Our Lady, Help of Christians, will always be with you. At the time of Don Bosco’s death, close to 800 boys were living at the Oratory that he had built. Forty-six years later, over 80,000 people gathered in Rome for his canonization, and since then his order has gone on to serve young people throughout the world. Wrote Pope Pius XI of the beloved saint, “God gave him largeness of heart as the sand on the seashore.” That, I think, is the heart of Don Bosco that we can emulate today in serving our youth. Whether we are classroom educators or mothers or simply the woman leading Wednesday night Bible Study for the local 8th graders, may our hearts always be enlarged as good Don Bosco’s was. St. John Bosco, pray for us and pray for our youth, today and always. [bctt tweet="Loving the Hearts of Our Youth (al la St. John Bosco) #BISblog //" via="no"]