I had never seen an auditorium packed with thousands of Catholic youth like I did that summer. I can still see the sea of young people worshiping, praying, and praising. I had signed up to be a chaperone for my first Catholic youth conference with our parish and it burst my cradle-Catholic bubble. At twenty-four, I thought I knew everything the Church had to offer but had never experienced anything quite like the Steubenville West Conference.
Even as an extrovert it made me uncomfortable, because the Catholic Church I knew was genuflecting, staying in your pew, and participating at appropriate times—anything outside of that was irreverent. But when the band began to lead praise and worship, I felt as if I had unearthed a precious gem. I had never heard music like that before. Everywhere I looked, arms stretched out wide and waved freely in the air; this was unlike anything I had ever witnessed before. Was this really the Catholic Church? The same one I had grown up with? It was all new to me and completely outside of my comfort zone, but somehow in that discomfort I felt like I was rediscovering the Church in a new way.
“In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places” (John 14:2). There is room for you! You belong here.
When the next singer and speaker took the stage and led everyone through prayer with his guitar, the ginormous auditorium suddenly felt like an intimate campfire session. You could hear the crowd sing along softly and even with all the various vocal ranges and tones, it all sounded like one harmonious symphony.
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In this space, I slowly felt my apprehensions and doubt dissipate.
I began to see how Jesus isn’t limited to the structure of Mass, the silence of Eucharistic Adoration, or the instruction I received from my catechism teachers. I found Jesus among thousands of young people and it felt like the beginning of something new.
A part of me felt both joy and disappointment: joy for being in this space that helped bring the Church to life, and disappointment because it took so long for me to experience this. I was tempted to feel “too old” for this to be my first time, as most of the attendees were going as teenagers, and a majority of chaperones had gone before as well. Nonetheless I was there, and I knew there was something for me, too—even if I felt like my season for this type of thing had passed.
Is there a time when you felt like the Church came alive to you in a new way and reinforced that you belong?
Jesus, thank You for the ways You open new doors to encounter You in the Church. Today we ask You to give us the confidence and the grace to know we belong. Amen.
Mytae Carrasco Wallace is Las Vegas born and raised and holds a Masters in Public Administration. She and her husband have the privilege of leading Pre-Cana retreats for their home parish. On the daily you can find her raising her three kiddos, choreographing dance moves to entertain her children, and doing her own version of carpool karaoke. She was a contributing author to All She Had. Find out more about her here. Mytae es creada y nacida en Las Vegas, NV. Tiene su Maestría en Administración Pública. Ella y su esposo tienen el privilegio de dirigir los retiros de Pre-Cana para su parroquia. Diariamente puedes encontrarla criando a sus tres hijos, coreografiando movimientos de baile para entretener a sus hijos y cantando su propia versión de karaoke en el carro. Fue autora contribuyente de All She Had. Conozca la mejor aquí..
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