Somewhere between a quarter and midlife crisis, in the last year or so I have found my mind often drifting towards the end-of-life things.

Maybe it has to do with being in a place where I watch my elders age and my children grow, but I’m acutely aware of my own mortality now more than ever. It’s sparked in me a desire to know my Creator more intimately.

In my thirty-five years on earth, my prayer has morphed from childish petition to basking in the warmth and wonder of my God. I don’t journal and read a minimal number of pages of a devotional, and instead find myself asking Him to just be here with me now. Jesus promises us this very thing in today’s Gospel. If we love Him, He will come and make His dwelling within us. It’s just a small taste of Heaven. God resides in our hearts, this side of death, with the promise that we will reside in Him on the other side. It’s a mysterious transition that I cannot fully wrap my mind around.

The very thought of that heavenly reunion with the Lover of my soul stirs in me a desire and willingness to approach this earthly life’s trials with a deep, deep joy, and peace. I know that can only come from the Holy Spirit, a promise Jesus made to us before He ascended into Heaven.

Because of this, I know when I am constantly distressed, frustrated, and irritable, it’s usually because I’ve distanced myself from that source of peace and joy. Through regular Confession and prayer, I can allow myself to access that freely-given grace He extends to all of His children.

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Jacqueline Skemp is a daughter, sister, wife, and mother who endures living in Minnesota after leaving California for her one true love. You can find out more about her here.