I spent years preparing to become a foster parent. It began as a little trickle of a thought, and eventually grew into a steady stream of pondering. But it was a long while before I willingly shared this discernment with those closest to me. From the outside, people saw my wide-eyed anticipation, but most did not know that the decision to foster was not an easy one. I questioned the calling on my heart, and I doubted my own abilities in a big way.

Once I finally gave a tentative, whisper of a yes, then came necessary home renovations and a time-intensive application. A background check and a much-more-involved-than-anticipated home study. And then a global pandemic, upheavals at work, and delay after delay that kept me from receiving a child. And while I did welcome a couple of children into my home for very brief respite placements, most of the time life was . . . just as it had always been.

I had finally learned to say yes, but just where had the Lord led me?

Then one day, far from my own preconceived expectations, I welcomed a child from my own extended family into my home. I found myself stumbling into the truth that all those years of discernment and foster care preparation were for far more than only that. Per usual, God was asking me to broaden my vision, to say yes (again) to an unexpected call to love.

This journey makes me think of God's great big ask of Abraham in Genesis 22:1-19. How Abraham loved his God so deeply, and how he desired to hold nothing back from Him, even that which he loved most. I think about how I want to be just as willing as Abraham—to put my own hopes and my own expectations aside in deference to a plan that is better than anything I could ever conjure up.

Whatever plan you are struggling to relinquish today, just know that the ultimate Planner sees you. Share every one of your misgivings with Him and simply ask for the courage to say yes.

[bctt tweet="Hold nothing back from Him. // Karen Schultz" username="blessedisshe__"]

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