When We Have To Wait

“Remain in my love.” // John 15:9

I held my breath and waited for the teams to be announced. There was a ministry project I really wanted to work on, but only a handful would be chosen. When our leader announced the names my hope bubbled up until the last name was read, which wasn’t mine. I smiled in support of the ones chosen, but I was disappointed and couldn’t help but doubt myself. Why hadn’t they picked me? Was I not good enough? The short answer was no. They just felt God calling the other ones to this project. 

I can’t help but wonder if that’s how Barsabbas felt in today’s First Reading. When they were choosing between him and Matthias to become the twelfth Apostle, Matthias was chosen (see Acts 1:23-26). At that moment, was Barsabbas disappointed? God had another path for him and I imagine that he humbly accepted it. 

But isn’t that how life goes sometimes? We hope and pray to be chosen for something—whether it’s for a project, for a promotion, for marriage, for motherhood, for healing . . . there are so many things we hope for in life and when they don’t happen, it can cause doubt and pain. But Jesus gives us the key in today’s Gospel when He says, “Remain in my love” (John 15:9).

When we unite our hearts to God and hold His hand, we’ll be better at walking in step with Him. It sounds so simple, yet at times it’s so difficult. But when you truly love someone, you want to be with them and go where they go. Remaining in the love of Jesus strengthens us to wait patiently for our time, to trust when grief is overwhelming, to go bravely forward when we’re scared, or to rejoice in the blessings of life. His love carries us through everything. 

Lord, when I’m doubting myself or doubting that You are hearing my prayers, breathe Your Spirit of love in my heart. Draw me closer to You, and please give me strength to trust in You and Your goodness. I love You. Amen.