Clenched Hands, Generous Heart

I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you acted as you did in not withholding from me your beloved son, I will bless you abundantly and make your descendants as countless as the stars of the sky and the sands of the seashore. // Genesis 22:16-17 

I’m very generous with the Lord, as evidenced by my vocation of consecrated life. Joyfully and without hesitation, I have relinquished whatever is required for the Kingdom of Heaven’s sake, denying my Divine Spouse nothing. But when I received the news of my beloved spiritual director’s departure to a far-off parish, I balked at what I was being asked to sacrifice. 

With tears as my bread day and night (see Psalm 42:4), I tried to detach my heart from the consolation of Father’s daily presence. Soon after, I found myself at a diocesan ministry event for the National Eucharistic Revival. Towards the end of the evening, we were given an opportunity to adore Our Lord truly present in the Blessed Sacrament. Father sat two pews in front of me, totally immersed in prayer. As I watched him gaze at Jesus, I pondered all the times his paternal love had led me here, to the mountain of Eucharistic encounter.

In my Christian imagination, I saw myself standing before Jesus, arms outstretched, hands curled tightly into a fist. Tenderly, Jesus approached me, took my hands in His, and with my consent, coaxed my fingers to relax their grip. In my heart I heard Him say: I only ask for the things I love the most. Will you withhold from me My beloved son?  

We do this a lot, don’t we? We cling desperately to the people or things that are dear to us, afraid of the floodgates of emotional pain or fear that their absence will release. But when we loosen our grip and allow Jesus’ hands to take hold of our own, His healing touch will fill the empty space created by our surrender.  

Sister, there are no clenched fists in love. As Saint Thérèse of Lisieux said, “He does not want to accept anything from us unless we give it with a good heart” (source). And it is this very posture of radical disposal that dilates our hearts to receive the countless blessings God has in store for us, far more than we could ask or imagine (see Ephesians 3:20). What is the Lord inviting you to give Him today?