Everyone has a story. When I meet people for the first time and express genuine interest in their lives, many respond dismissively. “Oh, my life isn’t that exciting. It’s pretty boring actually.” But what life is truly lived without both love and loss? We All Grieve Those of you who are reading this might be thinking about your own grief journey right now... Some of you are waiting to be blessed with a child as you struggle with infertility. There is grief in that emptiness. Others of you may have recently lost a loved one who made the holidays warm and inviting, and you aren’t sure how things will ever be the same. Your grief is in the uncertainty. You may dread the holidays, because the memories of your childhood were of neglect, abuse, divorce, and instability. Your grief is in the past. Perhaps you have a spouse suffering from cancer or recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Maybe your child has a mental illness or physical disability, and the holidays are bittersweet as you remember the goodness of the past but lament the current battle. Your grief is in the present. When the Holidays Amplify Your Grief Coming together during times of supposed merriment makes your grief bigger. You don’t want to be the dark cloud that descends upon everyone else’s mirth. But you can’t fake how you don’t feel, either. Forgiveness is about Healing What if you thought about everyone in your family and what they might be going through, too? Even if you come from relatives who don’t discuss difficult issues, it’s easier to be compassionate with them when you consider where they’ve been: maybe divorce, losing a child or a job, estrangement from a sibling, and so on. Forgiveness softens the heart so that it can be receptive to love again. Change Your Expectations of the Holidays Despite cultural norms and expectations, the holidays do not have to be cookie-cutter replicas of what you see in catalogs or TV ads. You don’t have to cook a big meal; it’s okay if you decide to order in instead. One year, my family and I celebrated Thanksgiving non-traditionally. I had recently lost my great-grandma, and no one really felt much taking the initiative to cook all of our favorite recipes. It was draining and daunting. We were in the throes of grief. So we decided to make reservations at the lone restaurant in town that was serving a full, traditional turkey dinner with all the fixings. Remove the Pressure It wasn’t the same that year. In fact, most of us lamented about how depressing Thanksgiving was. But we took the pressure off each other and tried to enjoy the company of kin. Sometimes gathering together dredges up old–or fresh–wounds, and we’d rather avoid family altogether. But it’s possible for you and I to start the conversation, however difficult it may be, about shifting the family traditions and expectations to meet the needs of those responsible for cooking, cleaning, decorating, and shopping. Simplify the Way You Celebrate the Season My husband and I have a daughter with a rare disease. She has fifteen specialists and counting, many of whom she sees weekly or monthly. Maintaining my childhood dreams of baking every cookie recipe from scratch, decorating with inherited heirlooms, shopping for loads of gifts, and cooking a lavish feast simply add more stress and overwhelm to my life. I had a conversation with my parents a few years ago about how I felt about Christmas and that both Ben and I wanted to simplify it for so many reasons. At first, my parents were reluctant to pare down baking from six varieties of cookies to only three. Because, as my mom said, “But these were my mother’s recipes!” It was a hard conversation, but a necessary one. Find Your "Something New" We decided as a family to slowly drop the traditions that were too cumbersome and adopt new ones that truly gave us a sense of joy, rather than dread. Instead of the glut of gifts, we started drawing names and limited our budgets and items purchased. As with everything in life, there will be sadness when you choose to change the way your family celebrates the holidays. All of change is scary and involves losing one thing. But we have to remember that change also involves gaining something new. That something new is what can sustain you in your grief, so that the emotional weight you are feeling is not magnified by the burdens of expectations imposed upon you by yourself or someone else. Kind and Carried The best way to handle grief that is exacerbated by the holidays is to be kind. Extending mercy to yourself in the midst of the stress you are feeling, as well as being generous to others who are struggling, is one giant leap toward being open to experiencing the holidays in new and unexpected ways. Jesus Himself was born into a grievous situation: His life was in danger, and His family had to flee in the middle of the night in order to protect Him. He was poor. He worked hard. He was lonely. His friends abandoned Him. Cling to Him in this season of your grief. When you open your heart, He will fill it with lasting spiritual gifts of consolation and healing. How can we help carry and console you during your time of grief? [bctt tweet="When the Holidays Make Your Grief Bigger #BISblog //" via="no"] Jeannie Ewing is a Catholic spirituality writer who focuses on grief, redemptive suffering, and waiting. Find out more about her here.

Often, I feel like Queen Elsa in the 2013 Disney film, Frozen, with "let it go" repeating in my head like a scratched record or a warped mix tape warbling words of what has got to be one of the greatest three-word sentences in the history of ice queens. Let it go. Life can feel like an avalanche of situations outside of our control. Other than our reaction to things, we don’t get a say in much. Of course, that doesn’t mean we don’t have much to say. Only that we don’t get to decide who listens, cares, or jams earbuds in their earholes when we speak. Despite my awareness of how much I need to let go of every. single. day. I don’t want life to be merely a series of reactions to outside events. I want to be deliberate about what I let go of and what I strive to change. The Serenity Prayer Long before Elsa retreated to the ice castle, American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr wrote The Serenity Prayer. I know he wasn’t royalty, didn’t have a 3-centimeter waist, and couldn’t turn people to ice with the flick of his wrist. But he did write a pretty good prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. As far as I am concerned, Mr. Niebuhr could have stopped writing at serenity. What a beautiful word. It makes me thinks of scented bubble baths, sunsets on the beach, and a cloud of soft-serve ice-cream that looks like Olaf without the carrot nose. Trying to accept what we cannot change feels like none of that. Instead, it feels like wrestling, wrangling, and wearing ourselves into a state of exhaustion. We think we can pick and choose, negotiate and mitigate, and purchase and plunder into getting what we want. But sometimes, we have to face the cold grip of truth. There are things we cannot change. Accepting the will of God in our lives doesn’t have to be a frosty experience. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6 We can accept the things we cannot change when we put our trust in God to guard our hearts and minds. Poor Elsa retreated to an ice castle. We can go to God for the serenity to do what often feels impossible. Let it go. There are things we cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. What’s funny about Elsa is she was a beautiful queen with a queendom, a crown, and an incredible power to turn anything to ice. But it scared her. Unsure how to control her gift, she ostracized herself to a solitary life in an ice castle. It’s easy to confuse courage with confidence. We think to be courageous we have to be fearless. There are so many things about ourselves we can change: our perception, attitude, habits, and our reactions. However, sometimes that requires us to be brave. Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. -Deuteronomy 31:6 In the end, Elsa realized her power was controlled by love. She just needed the courage to let go of her fear and be free. Let it go. With God at our sides, we have nothing to fear. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY And wisdom to know the difference. The crux of this prayer’s message is recognizing what to accept and what to change. Wisdom is such a daunting word when you feel less like a wise owl and more like you just escaped from the cuckoo’s nest. But, really, I don’t think this part of the prayer has to be that hard. Wise people don’t overthink things. They know what’s right and act on it. It has less to do with smarts and more to do with conscience. What is your heart telling you? A good rule of thumb is if it’s the past, let it go. If it’s in your power to change it and you think you or those you love would be better for it, change it. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put in practice… -Philippians 4: 8-9 But anything else, be like Queen Elsa and let it go. [bctt tweet="The Serenity Prayer and Letting it Go #BISblog //" username="@_Lara Patangan"] Lara Patangan is a freelance writer and mother of two boys. She is currently working on publishing her first book about her mid-life mission to do works of mercy. You can find out more about her here.

I’m not going to lie, friends. Prior to writing this post, I did not know much about St. Nicholas. Sure, I knew the familiar Christmas tunes, the heated debates of whether to introduce children to St. Nick vs. Santa Claus (mostly in Catholic circles), and vaguely remembered a story of him slapping a heretic courtesy of this meme. But overall, I did not really know who he was. So, when I was writing this blog post for his feast day, I took it as an excuse to learn more about another holy example in our beautiful tradition and to figure out why friends of mine were all about having their shoes filled with oranges and chocolate coins. To those of us who are only vaguely familiar with St. Nicholas separate from Santa, the treats in the shoes is likely the piece of the story we have heard of. A Semi-Hot Take That in mind, from an outsider’s perspective, celebrating St. Nicholas Day might seem like a faint attempt at “reclaiming” the Christmas season. We take secularized Santa Claus, Catholic him up a bit by returning to his saintly roots, and voila! Another day around the “holidays” where we give our children gifts. But this one is better because it goes against the mainstream culture of materialism surrounding Christmastime…because our gifts are simpler…maybe…right?... All sarcasm aside, I do think it is easy to fall into traditions and outward signs of celebrations without remembering why we have the traditions in the first place and what they are supposed to point to (hint hint: Jesus). What can make this feast day truly stand apart and call us to live out the Gospel message is not just the outward sign of traditional shoe-fillery, but rather the intentional learning about who St. Nicholas was and how this holy man’s example can lead us to Christ. Truthfully, this could be said about any holiday or Holy Day or day we celebrate. It is always worth taking a step back and asking what about it is pointing us to God. A Brief History of St. Nicholas St. Nicholas was born in the third century to a wealthy family who raised him devoutly in the Faith. His parents died when he was young. Nicholas used his inheritance to serve those on the margins, truly taking our Christian call to care for the most vulnerable to heart. At a young age he was made Bishop of Myra (modern day Turkey) and was well known for his continued generosity for those in need. He died on December 6, 343 AD in Myra, which is now the day we now celebrate in his honor. So Why the Shoes? St. Nicholas is literally legendary. There are multiple stories and legends surrounding this generous man and his heavenly intercession. One of the more recognized legends involved a poor man with three daughters who were in danger of being sold into prostitution because he could not afford to marry them off (which would have guaranteed protection in ancient days). It is said that on three separate occasions, gold appeared in their home. This helped them out of the financial situation they were desperately praying to get out of. This is the story that eventually lead to the tradition of leaving stockings or shoes out for St. Nicholas to fill with gifts. This is what ultimately created this idea of St. Nick as a gift-giver. A Larger Lesson But these gifts of chocolate coins and oranges (from versions of the story where the family finds gold balls in their home) represent so much more than just a present from a friend or family member. The original gifts shared by St. Nicholas were those that lifted the lowly and cared for those in need. Now I’m not saying that when you celebrate St. Nicholas Day with your family, you should sit your three-year-old down and explain that the chocolate coins she found in her shoes represent the dowry it took to guarantee a man would want to marry a woman on the edge of being sold into slavery (know your audience, friends. But it is certainly worth explaining the generosity of this amazing man, specifically in regards to those in need. It was not his wealth, but the way he used it, that made him a Saint. Similarly, we are called to use the resources we have been blessed with for the betterment of others. People of all ages can benefit from that message and that Christian call. Celebrating St. Nicholas Day Attending Mass on a beloved Saint’s feast day is always a fantastic way to celebrate their honor. But here are a few additional options for those interested in digging in a little deeper with St. Nick this year. Picture Books There are so many wonderful children’s books about St. Nicholas. These are great to leave by shoes and read together on the feast day. Serve Those in Need Another great way to celebrate this feast day would be serving those on the margins. Maybe you and your friends can share a meal with our neighbors experiencing homelessness. Perhaps consider donating to an organization committed to helping eradicate sex trafficking like Catholic Relief Services. Pray for the Most Vulnerable One more wonderful option is praying aloud with your family and including specific intentions for the most in need in our world on St. Nicholas Day. The Best Way to Celebrate St. Nicholas? Love God More. I am arguably the least “liturgical living” savvy, so please do not think these suggestions are anything more than just that: suggestions. Ultimately, the holy men and women we love in Heaven only want us to know the love of God more fully. So long as we are genuinely striving to know and love our amazing Creator, we are moving in the right direction. Candy-filled shoes and all. Do you celebrate St. Nicholas Day? What are some of your favorite traditions? [bctt tweet="Celebrating St. Nicholas Day #BISblog //" via="no"] Sarah Stanley is a small town Ohio girl who is mildly obsessed with all things Ignatian and is very passionate about faith, social justice, and the intersection of the two. She recently earned her Master of Divinity and now serves as the Director of Christian Service at a high school in New England. When she’s not working, she enjoys contagious laughter, travel, clever puns, and finding the good in all things. You can find out more about her here.

Welcome to Advent, sisters! Isn’t it wonderful that the time has come to prepare for Christ’s birth yet again? What an absolute joy and gift! Yesterday at Mass, you saw all of the beautiful purple vestments and altar cloths. You prayed along with the congregation as the Advent wreath was blessed and the first candle was lit. And I’d venture to guess that O Come, O Come Emmanuel was the opening hymn for the day. Welcome to Advent! Maybe, like me, you have your Blessed is She Advent Devotional that you can’t wait to dive into. Maybe you have your family’s Advent wreath in pride of place on the table. And maybe you still need to try to find those candles you swear you bought last month! Regardless of how prepared (or unprepared) you are for this beautiful time of year, I’ve got some good news for you! Your search for seasonally-appropriate, liturgically-focused music is over! We’ve got some amazing playlists to share with you for both seasons. Two Seasons, Two Playlists Yes, friends, there is a distinct difference between Advent music and Christmas music. But, let me make this super clear before we go any further. I am not going to tell anyone not to listen to Christmas music until midnight on December 25th. No grinches here, I say! If that is what makes your heart happy, then go for it. What I’m sharing with you today, though, isn’t necessarily the typical music you’ll hear on your local radio station’s “all Rudolph, all the time” lineup. No, today we’re talking holy songs. Liturgical, sacred, reflective music. The music I’m sharing today is focused on one idea, and one alone: the birth of Jesus. Advent Music So, what is Advent music, anyway? Sure, we all know O Come, O Come Emmanuel in our sleep. But what else is there? And what sets Advent music apart? Advent music is characterized not by a particular sound, but by a feeling of anticipation. These songs are full of hope and longing. There is a marked sense of pleading for salvation, rescue, and comfort. On this playlist you’ll find traditional songs like O Come Divine Messiah and People Look East. These songs have been in our Catholic hymnals forever and for good reason! But you’ll also perhaps be introduced to some new favorites! Newer songs like Amy Grant’s Breath of Heaven are mixed in among hymns like Come Thou Font. Traditional songs like Gabriel’s Message mingle with Taize chants such as Within Our Darkest Night. A Surprise or Two On the Advent playlist, you’ll probably find a song or two that you weren’t expecting. Do you recognize these lyrics? Well I came home Like a stone And I fell heavy into your arms. These days of dust Which we’ve known Will blow away with this new sun. Even Mumford & Sons can have a place in the lineup! Advent music doesn’t have to be all songs that start with O. It just has to tune your ear and prepare your heart to welcome our Savior on Christmas morning. Which leads me to our next playlist! Christmas Music Ladies, truly. I can’t even begin to tell you how much fun I had putting this particular playlist together for you! The memories, sentiment, and excitement were just almost too much! In a very, very good way, of course. I really hope that there is something for everyone on here. We’ve got everything from Bing Crosby to the Dominican Sisters, from Johnnyswim to John Rutter. And everything in between! Traditional favorites (think Away in a Manger and O Holy Night) are always welcome at Christmastime. But do you know songs like O Magnum Mysterium? What about Creator of the Stars at Night? Or Hodie Christus Natus Est? Joy to the World! Shepherds and wise men will kneel and adore Him Seraphim round Him their vigil will keep Nations proclaim Him their Lod and their Savior But Mary will hold Him and sing Him to sleep. Lyrics like these from John Rutter’s Candlelight Carol truly touch my heart. I love to think about what Christmas was like from our Blessed Mother’s point of view. Or consider these words from MercyMe’s song, Joseph’s Lullaby: Go to sleep my Son This manger for Your bed. You have a long road before You Rest Your little head. Songs like this can help us celebrate Jesus’ birth just as beautifully as all of the traditional hymns and carols we’ve known and loved for years. Joy to the World, indeed, yes?! Wait and Celebrate So, sisters, however you plan to participate in the joys of Advent and Christmas, I hope these playlists are a fitting soundtrack to your celebrations and observances. May your waiting and preparing during Advent be fruitful. And may the joy of Christmas dwell in your heart always. If we’ve missed any of your favorite songs, please let us know! What are your favorite sounds of the season? What songs tune your heart to the glory of the birth of Christ? [bctt tweet="Songs of the Season: Advent and Christmas Music #BISblog //" via="no"]

Have you had this conversation in your head, too? It goes something like this: “This is all just too much. You’ve spoiled me. I forgot so-and-so! There are simply too many people to exchange gifts with at this gathering. What could we do instead?” This is the perfect jumping off point for so many new traditions. Consider this your invitation to try gifting differently, this year or next. Get some supporters or try it out on your own. Today, I'll give you seven ideas worth trying. Setting the Mood for Meaningful and Minimalist Gift Giving Find the Pandora Advent stations—or at least the closest thing to them (Instrumental Christmas Music is a good one). Even classical radio stations will regularly play seasonal tunes precisely because there are so many to choose from. With all of these options, I find that I’m able to get into the spirit without the Chipmunks and Elvis chiming in each hour. When I get in this headspace—it doesn’t matter if I’m in the car, the kitchen, or in the mix of wrapping and decorating—I’m instantly calmer and cheerier. This cannot be undervalued as we sift through the commercialism and rush that this season can bring. At the end of the day, our hope is to be prepared to welcome those in our midst; specifically, the Christ. 7 Ways to Gift, Differently 1. The Three Wise Men Friends of ours have introduced us to their practice of giving gifts in threes, just as the Wise Men chose three gifts for the Christ Child. This has worked well in our family. So few of our extended relatives can resist sending “a little something.” And suddenly our kiddos are peppered with gifts they cannot track. Another approach I’ve appreciated includes four categories of practical gifts that serve a purpose without winding up in the donate bin two weeks later: Something you want Something you need Something to wear Something to read (Consider Iceland’s Jólabókaflóð, or “book flood,” which includes exchanging books with everyone on Christmas Eve and spending the evening reading those new books.) 2. Thinking Globally A tradition my parents began at a neighborhood Christmas party was to put a basket out where folks could leave their donations to the Heifer Project. At the end of the evening, we counted the money collected. The children chose how they’d like to use the pooled money to help families in developing nations become self-sufficient. 3. Embrace St. Nicholas Day and Epiphany This can be a tough sell with little kids. But we have such a rich array of options for celebrating the coming of Christ. Gifts that fit in a shoe! A delicious meal on Christmas day, followed by an evening of time together, waiting for Epiphany and the opening of gifts. Simply soaking in the goodness and beauty of the occasion; a gift a day for the twelve days of Christmas, as the song goes. 4. Thinking Locally This idea can go one of two ways. Supporting local small businesses in your community is a way to support the work and dignity of families in your own neighborhood, as opposed to big box stores and warehouses. Doing this hits at the core of several Catholic social teaching themes. There are also frequent opportunities to support local charities, meet the needs of folks on the Giving Tree through coat drives, and so on. If you have kids, this may be one of their limited experiences in choosing a gift they’d like to give, which is in itself a gift and grace to pass along. 5. Doing Homework While beginning your list of things to purchase, do some reading. Not the reviews on Amazon, but reviews of the company. Does the company honor its workers and pay them a just wage? Will this product last a long time? Who benefits from this sale? Was this garment made in a sweatshop or by the creative hands of a skilled craftsperson? Clearly, you pay for the difference. And you get what you pay for. This decreases the amount of clutter in our homes and the frequency with which we replace products. This, in turn, allows for us to be more generous with our resources. 6. Set Parameters Put limits on what you will spend on gifts. Who doesn’t appreciate this? Putting parameters around gift-giving, such as all homemade, hand-written letters, all second-hand, all free, all charitable contributions, etc., changes the gift exchange entirely. The possibilities are endless. Each have the potential to make the gifting much more fun for the giver as well. 7. Not “Gifts,” but Experiences It seems like more people are catching on to this concept. It gives us something to look forward to after the gift wrap and tinsel are put away. Tickets to see a movie, a city-wide scavenger hunt, walking through an art exhibit, taking a Zumba class together, etc. can have a longer-lasting impact than even the most well-intentioned presents. If the recipient is someone who loves quality time, this is a slam dunk. This is ultimately what we celebrate this season: Jesus’ desire to spend time with us, in the flesh. It’s coming! One week into Advent and the anticipation is growing. We’ve started our journey, and hopefully the commercialism and Santa-themed Advent calendars aren’t distracting us from our focus. Maybe it feels like marathon training at this point. A challenge to maintain the calm, to remain in the season, to make our homes and rituals places of peace and welcome. I think it’s timely to be reminded that the first Christmas took place in a barn. It doesn’t get more minimal than that. Of course, it’s fun to embrace the beauty and welcome friends and strangers on our doorstep. Hopefully by spending less time chasing, wrapping, and mailing gifts, we have more time to enjoy the Reason for the season. [bctt tweet="The first Christmas took place in a barn. It doesn’t get more minimal than that. #BISblog //" via="no"] May we each be gifted with the grace of enough. [bctt tweet="7 Ways to Gift Differently with Meaningful and Minimalist Gift Giving #BISblog //" via="no"]

Every year, in the midst of Advent, we as a sisterhood take pause for a one-day retreat together. Although we're scattered throughout the entire world, we carve out time in our busy lives to come together, both in person and online, for the Advent Gathering. A driving vision of Blessed is She has always been to help women build Catholic community in their lives, both online and, especially, in real life. The Advent Gathering gives us the space and permission to gather with other women in their local areas for a day of prayer, united with groups of other women throughout the world. If the holiday season is already overwhelming you and you feel like Advent is going to fly by without your notice, consider hosting or attending the Advent Gathering. What is an Advent Gathering? The Advent Gathering takes place live on a singular afternoon for a few hours. Everything is online, but there are printable resources for hostesses. There will be time for fellowship and food (if you so choose), a talk on this year's theme, and a time for small group questions, discussion, and prayer. What is this Year's Theme? The theme of this year's Advent Gathering is A Great Light. It's based off of Isaiah 9:1: The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light. As we prepare for the Christmas season, we anticipate the coming of the Light of the world, Jesus Christ. [bctt tweet="The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light. #BISblog #BISadvent //" via="no"] Who Can Attend the Advent Gathering? Everyone! We encourage you to gather a group of women to virtually attend the Advent Gathering. It can be you and just one other girlfriend or it can be a group of 100 women. You can gather in someone's home, at a coffee shop (bring headphones!), or at your parish hall. There are no "rules" for numbers or location Can I Watch it Alone? Sure! While our hope is that this creates an opportunity to foster in-real-life community, if circumstances don't allow, you can absolutely join us solo. When is the Advent Gathering? December 15th at 1 PM Eastern. What if I Can't Make it to the Live Gathering? No worries, you can watch the replay at the same link any time. And you can have an actual gathering of women at another time to watch the replay, too! I Want to Attend! We're so excited you're joining us! All you need to do right now is sign up here. I'd Like to Host. What Do I Need to Do? You're the best. Just sign up here and access your hostess guide here. Your hostess guide and follow up emails will have everything you need to prepare for the Advent Gathering. And in terms of food or atmosphere, that is completely up to you! It can be as simple or extravagant as you'd like. You can offer something as easy and comforting as coffee, hot tea, and orange juice, or you can prepare a full lunch spread. Potlucks are also a fun way to go for the gathering! We encourage you to make the space feel welcoming for your friends, and that can be accomplished merely by your smile and open heart. Will you be joining us for this year's Advent Gathering? Feel free to share this post with your friends to get the ball rolling! [bctt tweet="A Great Light // The 2018 Advent Gathering #BISblog #BISadvent //" via="no"]

Every year, around this time, I start to feel a bit weary. The fatigue I feel toward the end of the calendar year can be likened to how a runner feels at the end of a long race. I want to end well, but I’m just so tired. It doesn’t help that a “hustle and bustle” feeling in the air makes me think I’m constantly behind on my ever-growing to-do list. The countdown to Christmas can, indeed, feel like a marathon! But I really don’t desire the days and weeks leading up to the birth of Jesus to be a swirling blur. I also don’t want to fizzle out before Christmas arrives. Rather, I long to savor the journey and wait with joyful hope. I want to carve out time to prepare my heart—not just the gifts, decorations, and cookies. I’d like to celebrate the last month of the year, wrapped in the joy of Christmas. Praying Advent One way I’m sure many of us will savor our December days is by praying with this year’s Blessed is She Advent Devotional, Bearing Light. In addition, there are several lovely Advent traditions, such as lighting the Advent wreath and placing ornaments on the Jesse Tree, that keep Jesus at the heart of the holidays. There are also wonderful Advent- and Christmas-related books written by Catholic authors that help us remember, “all is calm,” even on a blustery winter evening. Curled up by the fire or cozied up to the lights of the Christmas tree, these books can help us remain present to the season of Advent, while we anticipate the joy of Christmas. Our Advent Book List Whether you are looking for a lighthearted romance or a story to read aloud to your children, here are six Catholic books to enjoy, as we slow down, savor the Advent season, and try not to rush Christmas. Fictional Fun Every year, I look forward to watching holiday-themed movies on the Hallmark Channel. Sure, they are formulaic and predictable, but they are also sweet, warm, and perfect for unwinding after a busy day of Christmas prep. Well, Ornamental Graces by Carolyn Astfalk surpasses any romantic Christmas movie I have ever watched. And it isn’t predictable at all! The novel follows Dan Malone and Emily Kowalski’s relationship, as it begins in the Christmas tree lot that Dan owns. At the moment, Dan is recovering from a very toxic relationship, and he vows to never date again. Emily is sweet, genuine, and kind. But her lack of self-confidence causes her doubt her chances of ever dating, let alone marrying. As much as Ornamental Graces is fun, romantic, and enjoyable, it is also deep, thoughtful, and inspiring. Themes of faith, forgiveness, and unconditional love abound and teach us how essential these qualities are in relationships. It also gives us a beautiful portrayal of why Christ came to earth at Christmas—because we needed Someone to rescue us from sin and despair in order to fully live in His light and love. Pondering in Our Hearts Whenever I receive my new Magnificat in the mail, I immediately turn to the back in search of reflections by Caryll Houselander. Often featured in this monthly periodical that provides the daily Mass readings, her writing is deep, personal, and poignant. That is why I had to include her book, The Reed of God, on this list. First published more than 50 years ago, The Reed of God is a spiritual classic that depicts Mary, the Mother of God, as an empty reed or vessel waiting to be filled by God. Houslander’s vision of Mary’s humanity helps us realize that Mary is with us, eager to show us how to say “yes” to God. The Reed of God is a beautiful and reflective book that you can slip into your bag and bring with you to Eucharistic Adoration. Yes, you definitely want to savor this one! Biblical Encounter While Jesus’ early years are often considered “hidden,” six moments depicted in Sacred Scripture encourage us to reflect, imagine, and ponder His childhood: the Annunciation, the Visitation, the Nativity, the Presentation of Jesus in the temple, the flight into Egypt, and finding Jesus in the temple. What would it be like to walk beside Mary from the Annunciation to the time when she finds Jesus in the temple? What was life like for Jesus, Mary, and Joseph? How would knowing Jesus as a child impact your faith? Gaze Upon Jesus: Experiencing Christ’s Childhood through the Eyes of Women offers a prayerful and creative journey through Advent and Christmas. Written collaboratively by 11 authors, this book invites readers to encounter Jesus and Mary during His infancy and childhood. Gaze Upon Jesus blends Scripture reflections, a discussion on six key virtues, and visio divina (a way to pray with sacred art). Woven throughout the book is a fictional narrative that invites readers to enter the story of Jesus’ childhood in an imaginative way. Family Devotion If you wonder what to do or say when gathering around the Advent wreath with your family, look no further than Welcome Baby Jesus by Sarah Reinhard. This simple booklet is designed to guide you and your family through Advent, by experiencing the joyful anticipation that leads to Christmas. Each day includes a Scripture quote from Sunday’s Gospel reading, a brief reflection, and an action to complete. This little book is practical, prayerful, and so helpful in cultivating family devotion. With each passing Sunday, your Advent wreath will grow brighter, and your family will more fully appreciate the true meaning of the season. Bonus: Read Aloud Fun for the Whole Family Grade School The Strangers at the Manger by Lisa Hendey is part of her imaginative five-book series, Chime Travelers, in which twins Patrick and Katie encounter various saints through “chime” traveling. In The Strangers at the Manger, a new family joins Patrick and Katie’s parish. There is something different about the Perez family, but Patrick and Katie are not sure how to respond to them. Suddenly, a church bell chimes, and the twins find themselves traveling to Bethlehem with Mary and Joseph. As they spend time with the Holy Family, Patrick and Katie learn firsthand how to welcome the stranger and share from the heart. Middle School Destination Bethlehem by Sharon Altman and Christine Winkelman is about Isaac and Jediah’s adventures, as they travel through Ancient Palestine, during the census. Yes, the same census for which Joseph and Mary travel to Bethlehem! As the story unfolds, the boys find themselves at the heart of the Nativity story and gradually realize the birth of the Messiah is at hand. This book consists of 24 chapters (December 1-24). Each chapter ends with a cliffhanger and builds anticipation for reading the following one, which proves to make it a fun read aloud for the entire family. What are you reading this Advent? What are some of your favorite seasonal books? [bctt tweet="Catholic Books to Savor this Advent #BISblog //" via="no"] This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

The Advent season is coming up. It's one of my favorite times of the year. I am beginning to contemplate how I can best meditate on the sacrificial journey Joseph and Mary made to Bethlehem along with the humble nativity of our Lord. One example that has recently encouraged me to look forward to Jesus’ birth with joy and expectant hope is the Apostle Andrew. When I reflect on the miracles he witnessed while spending time with his friend Jesus, I am struck by how Andrew, even after witnessing Jesus’ repeated goodness, was still continually learning to have greater trust in his friend. The Loaves and Fish In the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 14, Jesus speaks of His Father’s Kingdom to a gathering of five-thousand people (not including the number of women and children also gathered there). The people were hungry. But the Apostles could only find a total of five loaves and two fish, given to them by a small boy in the crowd. The Apostle Andrew said to Jesus in regards to the young boy’s offering, “What is that between so many?” Andrew couldn’t see how such a small amount of food could have an impact on such a large number of people. It turns out, it was quite significant. Jesus took those five loaves and two fish, prayed to His Father in Heaven, and the food was multiplied. It was multiplied in such vast quantities that, after everyone had eaten their fill, the disciples gathered twelve baskets of bread. There wasn’t just enough food for everyone to keep from starving. They ate till they were full, and more bread was leftover! Be Brave in Your Asking St. Andrew may not have had great hope that Jesus would perform a miracle. But he at least asked Him the question, “What is that between so many?” Maybe we feel that way sometimes. Like what we are praying for is too small or insignificant for Jesus to pay attention. Or maybe, like Andrew, we think our problem is far too large for Jesus to intervene. Yet what I have learned from this story is that Jesus multiplied the loaves and fish. He shows that He cannot and will not be outdone in generosity. [bctt tweet="Jesus shows that He cannot and will not be outdone in generosity. #BISblog //" via="no"] Christ's Generosity Pope St. John Paul II gives the following reminder: “Place your lives in the hands of Jesus. He will accept you, and bless you, and He will make such use of your lives as will be beyond your greatest expectations!” Beyond our greatest expectations! Do not forget, Jesus not only provided for the hungry five-thousand, He provided them with food to spare! Let us reflect on this for a moment. Jesus is omniscient; He is all-knowing. He could have multiplied enough food simply to fill the basket, with no need of multiplying enough to have extra...but He did. I think He was trying to prove a point. He longs to fulfill our desires, even more than we expect Him to. Do we have the boldness to ask? What if we ask him intentionally, confidently and specifically this Advent season? The Christmas Novena of Andrew the Apostle Because St. Andrew’s feast day falls so close to the beginning of Advent, a prayer has developed called the Christmas Novena or St. Andrew’s Novena. Traditionally, it is recommended to be prayed 15 times each day, from the start of St. Andrew’s feast day (November 30th) to Christmas. Personally, I am not committing to pray the prayer 15 times each day. But I do intend to pray it slowly and meditatively at least one time each day to prepare for the moment of Jesus’ birth. Where to Find the Novena The prayer is as follows and a beautiful print can be downloaded for free in the Blessed is She Shop. Hail and blessed be the hour and moment in which the Son of God was born of the most pure Virgin Mary, at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold. In that hour vouchsafe, I beseech Thee, O my God, to hear my prayer and grant my desires through the merits of Our Saviour Jesus Christ, and of His blessed Mother. Amen. What do you ask of Him when the air gets cold and the wind starts blowing? [bctt tweet="What Do You Ask of Him? On the Feast of St. Andrew the Apostle #BISblog //" via="no"]

Sitting down with my children and opening one of our treasured Advent and Christmas picture books has become a dear part of our seasonal family traditions. There is something magical in seeing familiar illustrations and hearing beloved stories that add to the enjoyment of the preparation of Advent and the celebration of Christmas. This list is only a small taste of the great literature in the Christmas genre of children’s picture books, but I especially love these Advent and Christmas books for children and hope they can be the beginnings of your family’s festive library. For a full list of our favorite picture books for Advent and Christmas, click here! Advent and Christmas Books for Children An Orange for Frankie by Patricia Palocco A tear-jerking and poignant story of family and its importance at Christmas. Frankie is a young boy living with his large family during the Depression as they wait the return of their father bringing Christmas oranges before Christmas Eve. Frankie learns the important lesson of giving to others in need while recognizing that family is irreplaceable. The Legend of the Candy Cane by Lori Walburg On a dark night in November, a stranger visits a small town. His motives are mysterious, although the townspeople hope he will be useful to the inhabitants. But the children of the town have a secret wish. Little Lucy befriends him, and he reveals his true identity and shares the legend of the candy cane. The Way to Bethlehem by Inos Biffi This book tells the stories of the events surrounding Christmas—from the Annunciation to the Presentation of Jesus in the temple. Country Angels by Tomie dePaola Tommy dePaola is unmatched in his heartwarming holiday books. This book is just as engaging and captivating as his other works, and presents the message that even the smallest angel has great significance. Gingerbread Friends by Jan Brett A fresh take on a classic tale, this tells the story of an overly-confident gingerbread man who rolls through town, taunting everyone he comes across. Gingerbread Baby by Jan Brett This book is so much fun to read as a family! The multi-character chase of the gingerbread baby will leave your whole family laughing. The Legend of Old Befana by Tomie dePaola Families of Italian descent will especially love this Christmas story of an old Italian women who never gives up on her search for the Baby King. Babushka by Sandra Ann Horn You might cry while reading this book, which relays the story of Babushka, who gives away all her gifts she's prepared for the Christ Child on her way to visit Him. What she learns in the end is that what she gave away to others, she gave to Him. A Christmas Story by Brian Wildsmith You know the donkey who carried Our Lady to Bethlehem? This is the story of the child of the donkey and its search for its mother. What it finds is a blessing beyond the baby donkey's imagining. The Nutcracker by E.T.A. Hoffman Most of us are familiar with this legendary story. How wonderful it will be to introduce it to the children in your life this Advent and Christmas season! A Little House Christmas Treasury by Laura Ingalls Wilder Little House fans, rejoice! This collection of Christmas stories from the Ingalls family will make you want to cozy with your little by the fire and disappear into the holiday spin on the classic books. Merry Christmas, Strega Nona by Tomie dePaola Everyone's favorite characters from the Strega Nona books return for a holiday feast! Mr. Willowby’s Christmas Tree by Robert E. Barry This light-hearted tale with adorable vintage illustrations is a hit with children young and old. Mr. Willoughby is a wealthy man whose giant tree ends up blessing everyone in the neighbourhood. Just the right dose of fun for long winter nights as you await to decorate your own Christmas tree. The Miracle of St. Nicholas by Gloria Whelan In invaded Russia, a grandmother shares stories with her grandchild about Christmastime of old. This compelling picture book is inspiring and beautifully-illustrated. The Legend of the Poinsettia by Tomie dePaola All of Tomie dePaola’s Advent and Christmas books for children are winners, but I especially enjoy this tale of Mexican Christmas traditions surrounding the poinsettia. A young girl sacrifices for her family and offers her humble gift to the Christ Child on Christmas Eve and the entire town witnesses a beautiful miracle. Room for a Little One by Martin Waddall A gorgeously illustrated book for younger children that focuses on the Nativity scene. I really appreciate its simplicity in telling the story from the perspective of the animals and the wonder they have toward Christ. The Story of Holly and Ivy by Rumer Godden Rumer Godden is one of my favourite Catholic novelists, and this Christmas tale she wrote for children packs the same spiritual punch of her adult stories. Ivy is a young orphan who longs for a family for Christmas, while Holly, a beautiful doll left in the story window, wonders if she’ll ever be loved by a girl. The story of Christmas love will warm heart. The Donkey’s Dream by Barbara Helen Berger A lovely story of Mary’s journey to Bethlehem from the perspective of the donkey who carries her. This book is especially beautiful in that the donkey describes Mary using different Marian titles and their corresponding image. A wonderfully unique book that looks at the Nativity through the importance of Mary. The Night of Los Posadas by Tomie dePaola This story brings together the past and the present in a moving tale of community, family, presence, and Christmas miracles. The Baker’s Dozen by Aaron Shepherd A beautiful tale of the goodness of St. Nicholas and how he helps the town baker learn that “baker’s dozen” is a symbol of mercy. Lushly illustrated, this is perfect for celebrating the feast of St. Nicholas on December 6th and teaching your children the generosity of this beloved Saint. Who’s That Knocking on Christmas Eve by Jan Brett Like Tomie dePaola, every Christmas book written by Jan Brett is worthy to be owned and enjoyed year after year. This is a sweet tale of children in Norway and the mischievous trolls who knock on their door on Christmas Eve. Enchanting fun for even older children as the magic of Christmastime swells from the pages. The Lady of Guadalupe by Tomie dePaola Written by Catholic dePaola, this picture book is perfect for the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe on December 12th. Song of the Stars by Sally Lloyd-Jones A poetic book telling of the jubilation of all creation at the birth of the Savior. The beauty of every creature celebrating the arrival of Christ is moving to think about as Christmas preparations near a feverish pitch. Papa's Angels by Collin Wilcox Paxton A lyrical book with a music-driven plot, this unique story of Christmas in Appalachia is a delight for the entire family. The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey by Susan Wojciechowski Jonathan Toomey has a gift for woodworking, but he never smiles. He's a bit of a mystery to the rest of the town as he mourns his lost wife and child. One day, he is approached by a widow and her son, requesting nothing short of a miracle. The transformation and connection that happen captures the spirit of the season. Mortimer’s Christmas Manger by Karma Wilson An endearing tale of a mouse learning the meaning of Christmas shows how we all need to make room for Christ as the true meaning of Christmas. A perfect tale for young children who will probably ask you to read this book over and over again this Advent! What are your favorite Advent and Christmas books for children? We're always looking to add to our list. Let us know in the comments below! [bctt tweet="Advent and Christmas Books for Children //"] Christy Isinger is a wife and mom to five lovely, loud children and lives in northern Canada. When not homeschooling, she is a devoted reader of English literature from Jane Austen to Agatha Christie. She writes about the beauty of faith, life, and the home at her blog and is the co-host of the Fountains of Carrots Podcast. You can find out more about her here.

Advent is, by its very nature, a season of waiting and anticipation, not a destination. But to me this year, it does have a sense of being a “grand finale.” It was after last Advent, after all, when a month of festive celebrations, a handful of extra “Christmas mornings” to accommodate different family travels, and Advent candles that were just as tall when we packed them up as they had been when we pulled them out of the box led to a post-December 25th burnout...and the conviction to spend the following year paying attention to the liturgical calendar. Advent was where it all went wrong for me last year, and this Advent, I’m anxious to find out if all we’ve been doing this year has been worth it. But even before Advent begins, I know deep in my heart that it has been. In the Rhythm of the Church Being mindful of the liturgical calendar, commemorating feast days, truly fasting and truly feasting, and digging into the rich history, legacy, and universality of our Faith has drawn me to Jesus this year in a way I never anticipated. As an adult, a wife, and a still-somewhat-new mother, I needed a path for my personal faith life that didn’t rely on my parents guiding me or my university providing the resources. This, the very calendar the Church has used for centuries, has been it. I hope and pray liturgical living will continue to be a lifelong adventure for my family (and for you, too). How to Live Liturgically During Advent Perhaps you’re nodding your head as you read this, heart filled with slightly nervous anticipation to celebrate a “real” Advent. One that doesn’t just look like Christmas arrived too early. Or perhaps you’re where I was last year, when I first heard the concept of saving Christmas traditions for actual Christmas...and that sounds anything but appealing. Wherever this Advent finds your heart, my invitation to you is to bring it to Jesus. Prayerfully ask Him what He is calling you to this Advent, in your specific season of life, and in this moment of your faith journey. Whatever traditions you end up adopting, setting aside, or rearranging, start with a simple surrender and the offering of your days to the Lord. Allow Him to guide you toward Him this Advent season, just as He guided the shepherds to the side of His manger. He longs for your presence and will never deny this request. Take Responsibility In my own family (and I know each is beautifully unique!), I’m the one who decorates our home. I’m the one who either fills our calendar or intentionally carves in blank space. With the full support and unbridled enthusiasm of my husband, I’m the one who has been leading our family’s celebrations of the liturgical year. It would be easy for me to, consciously or unconsciously, “blame” him if our Advent doesn’t look the way I hope it will. But right out of the gate, I’m refusing to do that. If your specific role in your family, your gifts and talents, your time availability, or whatever the case may be mean that guiding your family through Advent is largely your responsibility, take ownership of that and thank God for this opportunity! Trust that He will equip and use whatever you can offer Him. No matter how DIY-challenged you may be (hand raised over here). Adopt Advent-Specific Traditions Let’s resist the temptation to believe that observing Advent means we’re missing out on something. Time and time again, throughout our lives as Catholics, we are called to purposefully wait on something (even something as joyful, good, and beautiful as Christmas celebrations) in order to experience it in its fullness at the specific time God appoints. The waiting may not always be easy, but that doesn’t mean it is empty. On the contrary, the USCCB says “Advent is a period of devout and expectant delight” (source). Delight? Yes, that is something I desire more of. To set Advent apart from Christmas, it needs its own traditions, prayers, and sources of holy delight. Ones you look forward to in their own way, but that always orient your heart toward the celebration to come. Here are a few to consider: Join the Blessed is She community in praying through the 2018 Advent devotional, Bearing Light. Do your best to create a peaceful opportunity each day to use it, whether that means setting your alarm earlier (Advent is supposed to be a little bit penitential too, after all!), fasting from social media or TV until you’ve made the time to read and pray, or asking your husband to help you carve out time amidst your family’s busy schedule (don’t forget to return the favor for his devotional time, too). There’s also an Advent bundle available, which includes a beautiful candle and wristlet to serve as additional reminders to go to God in prayer. Don’t have the devotional? Don’t worry! Choose any other favorite devotional or spiritual book that feels appropriate for this season, and join us in prayer through that. Decorate your home in a special way. Especially if you’re a visual person, refreshed decor can serve as a powerful reminder of a new liturgical season. Don’t hesitate to “deck the halls,” but intentionally differentiate your decorations from what you’ll use for Christmas. This will look different for everyone. But for me, it means focusing on greenery, twinkling lights, and candles (while ornaments, stockings, and pretty much anything red stays packed up until Christmas Eve). Another easy twist: set up your Nativity, but leave the manger empty until the appropriate day. Include your family. If you have children, consider setting up a Jesse Tree, adding a few Advent-specific storybooks to your shelves, or letting your kids “earn” hay for baby Jesus’ manger in your nativity set by doing good deeds for one another. If you’re engaged or married, pray the St. Andrew Christmas Novena out loud with your husband/fiance. If you’re single, invite family members or friends to attend extra daily Masses or Holy Hours, or to work on a service project with you. The Christian life is even more beautiful when we walk through it in community! Decide what to save for Christmas. Yes, this part is challenging in our culture and in our hearts that so longingly crave the joy of Christmas. But sisters, the wait will be so worth it. Prayerfully consider what you feel called to reserve for the specific season of Christmas and commit to waiting on those things. Maybe that means holding off on certain movies, not listening to Christmas music, respectfully declining invitations to Christmas parties during Advent, not baking cookies or special treats until Christmas Eve, etc. Note: I cannot emphasize enough that living Advent in such a counter-cultural way may not always be popular amongst loved ones. So we must approach delicate situations with charity and gentleness. This isn’t about a set of rules. It’s about prayerfully and appropriately anticipating the celebration of our Savior’s birth. Stirring up a family feud because you decline to attend the 20th annual Christmas cookie exchange probably won’t help cultivate your peaceful season of prayer. So use your best judgment and discernment when needed. Sisters, I would love to know: how do you make Advent a meaningful time for you and your family? Please share your tips, tricks, and traditions in the comments below so we can learn from one another. Beloved, now is the acceptable time spoken of by the Spirit, the day of salvation, peace and reconciliation: the great season of Advent. This is the time eagerly awaited by the patriarchs and prophets, the time that holy Simeon rejoiced at last to see. This is the season that the Church has always celebrated with special solemnity. We too should always observe it with faith and love, offering praise and thanksgiving to the Father for the mercy and love he has shown us in this mystery. - Saint Charles Borromeo [bctt tweet="Living Liturgically During Advent #BISblog //" username="lisajanelkirk"]

It all started when my grandma came home from Rome a few summers ago. She said, “Oh Honey! There were all these couples in their wedding attire meeting the Pope. You should find out how you get to do that." So, I started to Google. At that time, my husband and I were newly dating. Pretty early into our relationship, we started to talk about marriage. I told him, “All I want is to meet the Pope in my wedding dress.” He smiled and said, "Okay." We got engaged on October 22, 2017. You have up to a year (according to the Sisters at the NAC, even though the site says two months) to get to the Vatican to meet the Holy Father. So book those flights and get to the Vatican! Forget Pinterest, I Wanted the Vatican! The day after engagement, most girls are on Pinterest looking up dresses, decor, and all the wedding things. But before I could get to that, I started to send emails to the NAC (Pontifical North American College) to get tickets to meet Papa. We set a wedding date for the middle of summer, which is prime vacation time. How to Get a Marriage Blessing in Rome in Your Wedding Dress If you're engaged or soon-to-be engaged and want to meet the Holy Father in your wedding attire, here are a few tips. Check the Pope's calendar to find out the dates of his Wednesday Papal audiences. Also check the dates in reference with the liturgical calendar. They celebrate feast days much more than we do in the States (We happened to be in Rome for the feast of Sts. Peter and Paul, so the Basilica was closed. A Bishop was being made a Cardinal, too, so parts of the Vatican was closed that day.). Email the NAC and request tickets. Follow the link to their site above to ensure that you send the correct info in your request email. Wait for their approval. It took what felt like forever for them to respond. Tt was truly a few weeks, and once we got the confirmation for the date, we requested we booked our flights and the remainder of the details. Read the email... ...to be sure that you pack what they ask you to provide (and tell someone in your bridal party what you will need, like a copy of your Marriage License and Certificate after the wedding). You can wear your wedding dress, but you don't have to. You can wear your wedding dress (I did, and it was so fun to put it on another time and get all the feels again!). But you don’t have to. You do need to wear a nice white dress that is modest. The men don’t have to be in a suit, but shirt and tie with slacks is a must. Take the sisters' advice. The sisters at the NAC will give you tips from what they have been hearing from couples. Don’t take them with a grain of salt. The sisters said, “hH’s only meeting a few couples, so stay toward the back." Be ready to have to throw a few elbows and fight for your way to the front of the line. On the day of, bring: Pack a backpack with snacks, water, and sunscreen. I highly suggest a handheld fan, a sun hat, and umbrella. You will be in the sun for a long time. That morning, it felt like an eternity. Don't worry about getting pictures. The Vatican has photographers that will get professional photos for you, so don’t stress. But, don’t forget to get the info for their website. You can also go later on that day to their storefront to order the pictures. It is behind St. Anne's gate and their paper with their info has the address. The prints are not expensive, which was such a gift. How We Met the Pope We arrived at the entrance to the Vatican at 7 a.m. and waited for them to open the gates at 730. As soon as the gates opened, everyone started to shove and get a little crazy. So I locked arms with Mike and pushed my way through. We showed our tickets, went to a Swiss guard, showed our marriage certificate a few times, and off we went to the altar. Italian Men in blue uniforms seated us, but we were in the middle. Mike looked at me and said, "The sisters said the back." So eventually, we moved to the back and were good to go... so we thought. While Mike’s Spanish got us pretty far in Italy, it didn't get us far when we were trying to meet Pope Francis. We sat in our chairs, I listened, watched everyone's every move, and as soon as people started to move and form what looked like a line, I looked at Mike and said, "We have to get in that line!" Eventually, the guards started letting one couple at a time through the barricade, and then the gate flew open. I looked at Mike and said, “Run!” (I was in heels, I would catch up.) It felt like every movement was orchestrated by God. Finally! Mike got to the barricade and stretched his arms out. I made my way to him, Zuccheto in hand, and we waited. We had heard that the Holy Father spent a lot of time with visitors who spoke Spanish. Pressure's on, Mike, don't forget your Spanish! Pope Francis soon was close enough, and I just reached my hand out. He grabbed my hand and I pulled him to me. I said, “Hola Papa,” in what Mike will say is the best Spanish he’s ever heard come out of my mouth. And we just talked, it felt like so long, but it wasn’t. He grabbed the Zuccheto out of the box, put it on, blessed it, blessed each of us on the head, and said, “Pray for me." We had the chance to tell him that we were married by one of the Bishops he called up in LA. And since we knew the nickname he had for him, he laughed. Mike started to tear up and almost lost his Spanish. My heart was racing. Afterward, the guards ushered us out and off we went to our hotel room to cool off and sleep (because who can sleep the night before you meet the Pope?). Now don’t forget to go get a Papal Blessing as well as pickup some prints of those pictures! [bctt tweet="A Marriage Blessing #BISblog //" via="no"] Written by Teresa Monette

One of my favorite memories of our first home in Minnesota was going out on a cold night (which we had no business going out into). It was probably near ten-below-zero, and had been for quite some time. But, out we went for moonlit cross-country skiing. If you time it just right, the brightness of the moon reflecting off of the snow casts shadows in the forest in the dead of night. It is an experience you will not soon forget. The night was a dark. I was introducing my husband and a dear friend to this north woods magic, and it was off to a bumpy start. Cold fingers clipped boots into skis and we shivered as we covered all but our eyes. And we set off. Doubtful as they might have been in the parking lot, what I hoped we would experience was a startling beauty in the desolation. Peace, stillness, and light tucked into the silent forest. Finding the Light The woods were still and the air was clear. We had a beautiful view of the moon through the bare trees. It was too cold to snow. Imagine our surprise when we found a trail of lights laid out by some grizzled park ranger, or some nostalgic, seasoned skier who had gone before us. We never saw the person responsible—only the work of their hands. They had left luminaries in their wake along the length of the trail. Our entire trek through the snowy hills had been altered by these lights twinkling in the snow, on an otherwise barren landscape. It was a pure gift to the souls brave enough to endure the cold that night. Isn’t that true of our Advent experiences, too? Our entire journey is altered by the Light we find shining in the dark—the very place we expected not to find it. Our Advent Journey This practice of Advent journeying takes on a variety of shapes: Maybe a candle and some prayer time are your jam before you get ready for bed. Perhaps you incorporate a Jesse tree into your Advent walk. Or the cozy, dark, early morning hours for Advent reflection call to you. If daily Mass fits into your workday, this is another way of noticing those small glimmers of hope in a season often filled with cold, muted light. If your parish participates in a cold weather shelter service, you might get to offer hospitality in honor of the Holy Family who found no room at the inn. There is no "right" way to enter into the season of Advent. It remains an opportunity to be on the lookout for the shimmering light of Christ, like the Magi, even when it feels far-off. It is one of the few practices of waiting we afford ourselves at this point in time. Yet it can be cause for so much impatience when we look ahead to the celebration just around the corner. How do we contain ourselves? Seekers and Bringers of Light At the same time, I wonder if that hypothetical, old park ranger I imagined lighting candles in the dark, with no guarantee that anyone would notice, might be on to something. Perhaps this Advent season that is upon us is more than an invitation to be seekers of the light only. Perhaps Advent is simultaneously an invitation to be bringers of the Light (John 8:12). To have the wisdom to lavishly share what we know to be illuminating, if only for the sake of delighting the Lord—and an unsuspecting passerby. Because, if there is any one thing we know to be true of God, it is that God is Mystery and will use any and all circumstances to reveal the love He desires to lavish on us in a new way. Unexpected luminaries on a rural ski trail? Check. Physical presence in the Eucharist? Check. Infant born in a barn? Check. Our Prayer for Advent Whatever your visions for this Advent season, let’s pray that each of us be given the opportunity to become not only seekers of the Light of the World, but bringers, too. Here’s to bringing that Light to the world in a new and delightful way. Just as in the deep woods or in a dark passageway, someone carrying a flashlight can light the path, so Christ walks before you, shedding His light upon your way. -Helen Kingsbury Wallace [bctt tweet="Bringing the Light: Preparing for Advent #BISblog //" via="no"]

The King of love my shepherd is, whose goodness fails me never; I nothing lack if I am his, and He is mine forever. Where streams of living water flow my ransomed soul He’s leading, And where the verdant pastures grow with food celestial feeding. Confused and foolish oft I strayed, but yet in love He sought me, And on His shoulder gently laid, and home, rejoicing brought me. In death’s dark vale I fear no ill with you, dear Lord, beside me; Your rod and staff my comfort still, your cross before to guide me. You spread a table in my sight, Your saving grace bestowing; And oh, what transport of delight from Your pure chalice flowing! And so through all the length of days Your goodness fails me never, Good Shepherd, may I sing your praise within Your house forever. -Henry W. Baker Reflect When we go to Confession, not only does (God) take away our sins and forgive us, but when we go to Confession, Jesus becomes the Lord of it all. Because I want Jesus to be the Lord of my good days, and of my strengths. He wants to be the Lord of everything. He wants to be the Lord of my bad days and my weaknesses as well. I want Jesus to be the Lord of the things I’m proud of, and the things that I want to show off, but Jesus wants to be Lord of the things that I’m ashamed of, that I want to hide...It all comes down to this: I can choose to try to ignore my brokeness, try to manage it. Or, I can let Jesus Christ, Lord of the Universe, actually be the Lord of my life. Father Mike Schmitz, excerpt from homily on Christ the King [bctt tweet="I can choose to try to ignore my brokeness, try to manage it. Or, I can let Jesus Christ, Lord of the Universe, actually be the Lord of my life. -Fr. Mike Schmitz #BISblog #BISrests //" via="no"] Listen For musical inspiration for your restful Sunday, listen to our BIS Rests playlist. I recommend listening to “King of My Heart” by Steffany Gretzinger with Bethel Music. [bctt tweet="BIS Rests: Shepherd + King #BISblog #BISrests //"] Curated by Elise Howe. Find our more about her here.

When I started out in the working world, my older sister gave me some advice about gossip. She said I should never say anything to anyone that I would not say in front of the entire office. Sad to say, I did not always follow her advice. Over the years I have found myself in the confessional on numerous occasions because I hurt others while gossiping. There’s something exquisitely painful–and rightfully so–about being caught spreading gossip. Gossip is sin against the 8th commandment: do not bear false witness against your neighbor. Gossip is an Easy Trap This sin can easily get women side-tracked in the spiritual life because of our inclination to gossip. Not that men don’t gossip, they do. But, let’s be honest, generally speaking, we women like to talk. Once in a sociology class, I learned a possible theory for this. As cultures developed, the men went out to hunt, often alone. If they were with others, they had to be quiet so as not to alert their prey. Meanwhile, the women were back at the village in a group, taking care of the children, washing clothes, cooking, and talking. Makes sense to me! What St. James Says about Gossip In chapter three of the Epistle of St. James, he clearly points out that the tongue “while a small member” can be devious and hurtful, wreaking havoc on our relationships. Gossip going non-stop at the water cooler, over tea in the kitchen, or when we’re plied with a few glasses of wine, can lead to sin. Gossip may consist of a single, passing comment or observation. But much more likely, it’s a detailed gab-fest about another person. (This is different from discussing a person or situation if we are seeking guidance. But we cannot use that opportunity to tear someone down.) Gossip Leads to Other Sin We may sometimes use the premise of asking for prayers for a person, which is good in and of itself. Except that, once the conversation gets going, it can devolve into unkind, judgmental remarks. Gossiping can lead to other sins: sharing private information that was confided to us; judging another person; embellishing the story; enjoying being in the spotlight because we know the scoop. These are offshoots of gossip that add to our culpability. If we know we are habitually gossiping when we’re around a certain group, we may need to take a stand. Perhaps we are being called to offer fraternal correction. When our conscience is bothering us about gossiping, maybe we will need to simply explain to our friend or group that we know it’s wrong and are trying not to do it. We’re not blaming the group, the person, or trying to be "holier than Thou." We are taking responsibility for our own actions. Some of our friends may feel the same way and will appreciate us taking the lead. Prepare Ahead of Time We can also help ourselves resist gossip by praying for the grace to be prepared ahead of time. Have a few comebacks ready: “I don’t know anything about it,” or, “I have enough of my own problems to figure out,” or, “I find that hard to believe.” Making a positive comment about the person or defending them may take courage at first. But it can also bring the conversation back up to an appropriate level of charity. Another practical tactic is diversion: “Oh look–there’s a hummingbird!” and then quickly change the subject. Or find an excuse to walk away. Let’s work harder to stop being givers of gossip. In this case, let’s not talk the talk. The Golden Rule One of the most telling comments of St. James comes later in the chapter. “No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings who are made in the likeness of God.” If we put those words to prayer and work on making it part of our spiritual tool kit, we can start to overcome our tendency to talk about others. Although I am not always successful, I continue to work on overcoming the sin of gossip. But with God’s grace, I have learned to gauge conversations a little more insightfully and to think before I speak. A quote I committed to memory many years ago helps to keep it real: Lord, make my words both tender and sweet in case I might have to eat them. [bctt tweet="Let's Not Talk the Talk #BISblog //" via="no"] Patty Price is a wife, mother, and grandmother. A catechist for many years, she enjoys teaching the Faith, gardening, reading, and keeping up with her four grandchildren.

Thanksgiving seemingly always comes out of nowhere. Isn’t that the case every year? Suddenly it is that time of year in which we are running around, making plans, preparing good food, and gathering together with family and friends. Life happens quickly, there are lots of to-do’s and to-go’s and to-see’s. And with that said, it is also one of my favorite times of year, hustle and bustle included. What Thanksgiving is All About... Of course, Thanksgiving is about giving thanks. But there’s so much more to it all, isn’t there? It’s about taking a moment or two or a few more than that to realize how much goodness our lives truly hold–regardless of the hard things and the tough things and the not so easy things. There is so much goodness to find and seek and take delight in, always. Thanksgiving, and this time of the year, remind me of just that. As the year comes to a close, I am reminded to not only appreciate all that has occurred within the year, but also to delight in all that didn’t occur, all that didn’t go as planned, all that was surprise. And as I take a moment to reflect on this day of Thanksgiving, I am reminded–most of all–of His goodness and guidance throughout it all. Choosing Joy Gratitude and choosing joy aren’t always second nature in our lives. We experience suffering, hardship, challenge, confusion, and sometimes question why things happen as they do. Not to mention all of the hustle and bustle that our lives can sometimes be. Sometimes pausing to delight in the moment we are in is a task too tedious. Yet through it all and in it all, goodness remains. And so I choose to intentionally seek and find it. I choose to reflect and smile and delight in all that He’s laid out for me in this life, both behind me and in the time that lies ahead. I am grateful today. For the little things and the big things. The easy things and the hard things. The things that I expected and the things that were unexpected this year. I am grateful, because it is He who leads. Slow Down and Notice Amidst the hustle and bustle of what this day in particular holds, my prayer for us all is that we might simply slow down. That we might focus in on the little things of this day instead of all that goes on so quickly around us. That we might simply be present so that we may delight in each moment He’s so generously given. The sights, the smells, the sounds that will fill our homes and hearts today. The time spent traveling, eating, and being in the presence of those we know and love. In the conversations and in the silence that will occur today. He is with us. And for this Truth: I am grateful. Living in a Spirit of Gratitude As we venture into the day ahead, may we simply be still with hearts filled with gratitude. May we make the effort to intentionally choose joy today, whether it be easy or difficult. Whether we woke this morning with excited anticipation or are a bit apprehensive about seeing certain faces or being in certain places. He is with us today and always. And today I am reminded to be thankful. To choose joy. And to let this gratitude carry me forward into tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. What are you most grateful for today? Consider starting a gratitude journal. Take time each day to list all that you're grateful for. [bctt tweet="On Gratitude and Choosing Joy #BISblog //" username="herfitlife7"]

In 1 Thessalonians, we read, “In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus" (1Thessalonians 5:18). But trying to teach that lesson to teenagers? Well, that can be easier said than done. My family was out to dinner at our favorite Mexican spot a couple weeks ago. We were all talking and laughing over chips and salsa, waiting for our order to be delivered to our table when the waitress made the rounds to see if we needed anything more to drink. After asking our permission, our boys held up their cups and told her what they had ordered. Smiling, she grabbed their cups and went off to refill them. “Guys,” my husband said, “did you forget something?” “Ummmmmm…” was their typical teenage response. “Please? Thank you? Just because she offered to do that for you doesn’t mean you get to forget your manners,” he reminded them. More than Manners And so it goes when you’re raising teenagers. You spend years concentrating on their pleases and thank yous and drilling manners into their heads only to have them on the very verge of being grown...and they forget it all. Well, I shouldn’t say that. They don’t forget it all—far from it! In truth, they’ve internalized all of those lessons we’ve given them. But somewhere in their egocentric teenage psyches, it simply gets hidden by other stuff. But why is that, and why is it so important? How do we pull gratitude back to the forefront? And how do we make it something that is more second nature than forgotten habit? Social Cues If you really think about it, today’s society isn’t exactly conducive to an overabundance of gratefulness. The majority of us are blessed in that our basic needs are met. We have the shelter, food, and clothing that we need to survive. But we—and our kids—are constantly being told that what we do have isn’t enough. Essentially, our wants are being made into needs. Society, social media, and the constant barrage of advertisements they entail teach our kids entitlement. And what is entitlement other than a constant feeling of not being, having, doing enough? It’s all about comparison and focusing on the negative about themselves and others. What's So Good about Gratitude? Teaching our kids to think from a place of gratitude, though, brings them out of themselves! It brings them to an exterior focus on what is good in their own life and that of others. Learning gratitude can help teens feel less isolated. It helps them grow in self-worth and makes them feel like they matter. You see, what we exude is what we invite. If we exude appreciation of others, they will feel that and return it back to us. If we value ourselves, others will see that and respond in kind. And if we pour gratitude into our relationships, others will feel valued and the cycle will continue. Habits of Gratitude Just like we can’t expect our teens to do their algebra without knowing basic math facts or read Shakespeare without having learned phonics, we can’t expect them to learn gratitude without having been taught basic manners. But just like those basics of reading, writing, and arithmetic grow along with our kids, they need to expand their exercise of gratitude as well. Here are a few ideas of how we can help them to do that: Counter “don’t haves” with “do haves”! Instead of saying "I don’t have the coolest shoes," we help them reframe that to, "I have shoes that are the color that I really wanted." Instead of, "Why can’t we have a gigantic TV like the Smith family does?" we help them find something good to say about their own situation. It’s all about “accentuating the positive” as the old song goes! Change “I have to” to “I get to”. "I have to do my homework before I go out with my friends," becomes, "I get to go out with my friends once my homework is done." Actively give thanks. Simply saying something out loud makes it more real, right? Keep reminding your teens about their manners when they forget. But don’t overlook the larger gestures, too! What about a “thank you FaceTime” instead of a thank you note? Getting my kids to sit down and handwrite a note is akin to torture, but making a PowerPoint slide or funny video? That’s definitely more up their alley. Pay it forward! When my oldest started driving, all of a sudden fast food gift cards became a hot item. Show them how to pay it forward in the drive-thru line and they’ll love how good they feel when they share the wealth. Get out and volunteer! When our kids are exposed to those with less than they have, their eyes are opened to all of the blessings they’ve been given. Food banks, local schools and sports organizations, and care facilities are all excellent places to look for opportunities. In the Everyday While some teens are all about the grand gestures, some are more comfortable in the quiet moments. See, gratitude in the teen years can also be shown simply by thinking of others before yourself. It can look like offering a snack to a friend who comes over instead of just grabbing one for themselves. Maybe they remember to hold the door open for whoever is following behind them or jumping up to help someone before being asked. Or, unlike my goofballs I mentioned earlier, it can also look like remembering to show good manners and gratitude to someone for doing their job and doing it well. This Season of Wanting and Giving As we dive headlong into what I fondly refer to as "Gimme Season" (or, alternately, the "Month of I Wants"), let’s do our best to carry the spirit of Thanksgiving and gratitude forward. Maybe choose one of the gratitude habits to work on with your teen or, hey, even in yourself! Like so many of these lessons we try to teach our kids, this one can seem never ending. But the reward is so worth the work, don’t you agree? Because, like the Bible says, Train the young in the way they should go; even when old, they will not swerve from it. -Proverbs 22:6 That’s the prayer and the goal, sisters, isn’t it? Here’s to fighting the good fight, living as example, and being grateful in all circumstances...even (especially!) the teen years. [bctt tweet="More than Saying Thank You: Cultivating Gratitude in Our Teenage Children #BISblog //" via="no"]

I don’t find it coincidental that today we find phrases like Breathe and Slow Down on the front of t-shirts, coffee mugs, and other assorted paraphernalia. Our societal “keep up with the Joneses’” mentality means that we not only have to have the same car, house, gadgets and jobs of the wealthiest family on the block, but that we keep up with their schedules, too. For many this means a 9-5 becomes an 8-6, a weekend becomes a smattering of events to get to with the incessant “fear of missing out” tugging at our hearts, and a Sabbath filled not with true rest but with preparations for the work-week, kids’ events to get to, and a continual absence of genuinely restful leisure. What Does This Say About Us? It has now become so commonplace to respond with “Busy!” when someone asks how we are doing. We don’t even stop to consider what this response says about ourselves, our families, or our communities. This is a problem. And the truly sad part is...I am as guilty of it as the Jones family. If you took a look back on the last five years of my life, you’d find me stretched far too thin over work, school, church, and family responsibilities. Despite all of my best attempts to say yes to everything that was asked of me, I continually felt like I was coming up short and (what’s worse) failing to meet the needs of my very own heart. Last year I began to take a more discerning look at my pretty deplorable work-life balance. I had lost my dad a couple of years prior and was coming out of that grief with a fresh outlook and a desperate need for rest. I knew there had been a time in my life where the pace was slower and I was happier. I wanted it back. 4 Ways to Find Leisure When You're Schedule is Insane I found four steps helpful in my journey toward more leisure. 1. I regularly made a list of the things that filled my cup. They weren’t big things. I mean, a trip to the Bahamas would have been lovely, but it wasn’t part of my day-to-day living. Rather, what filled me were evening post-work walks in my neighborhood, time devoted to music-making (of any variety), and a journaling sesh with coffee in hand first thing in the morning. Perhaps what fills your cup is different. A time each week to practice a new skill or to make a new friend. Take time to write down the “cup fillers” that are reflective of you. 2. I took a step back from the things that weren’t critically necessary. This was a big one for me. At the height of my life’s craziness, I was working far more than one person could reasonably manage. As I pondered my responsibilities I spent a lot of time asking God, “Are You really asking this [work] of me?” Many times I found that He was saying, “It’s okay to let it go.” So slowly I began to shave off what wasn’t necessary. I resigned from a couple of volunteer roles. Even though the ministries were valuable, I just didn’t have space in my heart to give to them. I pulled back on work responsibilities, trusting that any financial needs I had would be met by our Lord (and they were). I purposefully said no to attending certain social events because it was just too much on my plate for any given week. My smartphone was replaced with a phone that wouldn’t have the capability to let me scroll deep into the rabbit hole of social media (we pretend this is leisure but really, it’s not). Every step was a small but important step in the right direction. Every step allowed for the “cup fillers” to find a place to reside in my heart. [bctt tweet="I spent a lot of time asking God, “Are You really asking this work of me?” Many times I found that He was saying, “It’s okay to let it go.” #BISblog //" via="no"] 3. I actually scheduled my leisure time. In a world of to-do lists I find it surprising that we don’t always schedule the most important things like leisure. My work schedule at the time demanded that if my Saturday was scheduled to the brim but I had a window from 1-2, that I would pencil that in as my leisure time. It feels strange to schedule leisure doesn’t it? Don’t be afraid. Make it a to-do and it will get done, and it will mark the beginning of a good habit. 4. I learned to be prepared for a few wide-eyed stares when I would tell my friends or co-workers of my newfound habit of leisure. I learned that embracing time for leisure is a super counter-cultural thing. Sometimes I felt a bit lazy in the face of my “busy” friends who had no time for leisure. I learned to not be discouraged by those who failed to see the value of the rest that I was seeking. This leisure was filling my cup, and that was all that mattered. [bctt tweet="I learned to not be discouraged by those who failed to see the value of the rest that I was seeking. #BISblog //" via="no"] A Slow but Sure Change So how did I do in my quest toward a life of leisure? The change, of course, wasn’t instantaneous. There were times when I still had incredibly full weeks and little time for myself. And, if I’m being honest, there still are those, on occasion. But more times than not I would find myself returning home with hours of daylight still free. I’ve cherished this newfound freedom to read a good book or journal and pray about my day, immerse myself in the arts, and simply find time for a few things that nourish my heart and fill me up again so that I can, in turn, give myself to others. I truly didn’t know what I was missing until I gave the gift of leisure back to myself. A Perfect Time to Begin... As I wrap up these thoughts on leisure, I’m keenly aware that the quiet of Advent begins on December 2nd, just under two weeks from today. This is a time when the world will tell us we should be breathless with parties, shopping lists, presents to wrap, and Amazon shopping carts to fill. In the din of this busy-ness, our Lord calls us to rest and to wait for His coming. Perhaps this Advent will be the beginning of your journey toward leisure. Will you join me in giving our collective hearts rest? [bctt tweet="4 Ways to Find Leisure in an Over-Scheduled World #BISblog //" via="no"] Karen Schultz hails from the Land of 10,000 lakes, where she is often found in or near one of them. As a doula, lactation educator, and FertilityCare Practitioner, she finds joy in helping women to embrace the gift of their bodies. Downtime is found in quiet adoration chapels, farmers markets and gardens, listening to bluegrass music, and embracing the diversity of Minnesota’s seasons. You can find out more about her here.