Listen to Their Stories

“Amen, amen, I say to you, we speak of what we know and we testify to what we have seen, but you people do not accept our testimony. If I tell you about earthly things and you do not believe, how will you believe if I tell you about heavenly things?” // John 3:11-12

“I’m just so embarrassed, I’m so sorry you have to see this,” my patient softly admits, eyes downcast. Sitting my patient up, I take off my gloves and turn to face her. I’ve heard this more times than I’d like: patients being self-conscious or embarrassed about the states of their mouths. It breaks my heart every time someone apologizes to me as if I’d judge them for the state of their oral health.

Placing a reassuring hand on her arm, I let her know that there is no need to apologize and that I was here to work alongside her to improve her oral health. Her shoulders relaxed a bit, and we started talking about her treatment plan.

Over multiple appointments, I got to know her. She shared that she was the primary caregiver for her aging mother for the past ten years and that her mother had recently passed. And now she started making healthcare appointments for herself. She told me stories of helping her mother draw in her eyebrows and painting on lipstick just to watch her mother light up and feel human again. She told me about how there’d be days she would forget to shower, but she made sure that her mother was always fresh and clean.

I’ve heard countless stories over the years. With each patient, I hold the space for them as they share hardships, joys, and sorrows. With each story, my own unconscious and internalized biases are chipped away. I am humbled and honored to serve them in this small way.

It’s easier to make assumptions about others than to see the human beneath the circumstances and to see the face of Jesus in those we meet and from those who honor us with their stories. From the teen mother, to the individual experiencing homelessness, to the person with substance abuse disorder, and to the imprisoned: listen to their stories. To the curmudgeonly neighbor, to the trouble-making teen, to those estranged from family: listen to their stories.

Sister, ask the Lord to open your heart to their stories and to help us radically love one another.