Get Up and Follow Him

He said to him, “Follow me.” And he got up and followed him. // Matthew 9:10

I sat at my best friends’ dining room table on Easter Sunday, crying my eyes out for what felt like the millionth time. I wondered in frustration and not-quite-shame how many friendly gatherings I had ruined with weeping in the past few years. My husband’s sudden and untimely death had thrown me into a season of uncertainty the likes of which I could never have imagined. I clung to each fragile shred of my identity, but had no idea where I should go next. Many times I longed for someone to just tell me what to do, but I had to learn to be still, seek the Lord, and discern on my own.

After praying for clarity for many months, the Lord finally showed me where He wanted me to go—it was time to uproot my city life and move to my small hometown. And I did not want to obey.

But my life is here! I have commitments! I’ve made promises! I argued in my prayer. I wrestled with the Lord as I have so many other times when the tide of His will crashes against the sea walls I’ve built around my heart. 

Mere months into life in our new home, I can already begin to see why God asked me to step away. He needed me to lean more heavily on Him. He wanted me to be able to see my vocation more clearly, to see my kids’ needs more clearly. He wanted all of me, as a lover desires all of his beloved. He wants me whole and holy, prepared to join Him in glory for all eternity.

God doesn’t want the Sunday morning part of you, dear one. God doesn’t want a few moments of your morning, or a bowed head before your meal. He wants all of you. He wants to engulf you with the ocean of His love, and His transforming work in your life is only limited by the extent of your fiat. Let Him in. Get up and leave whatever it is that’s keeping you from full surrender. Follow Him.