Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. // John 14:27 We absolutely love these beautiful free wallpapers from Brass and Mint Co. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Everyone can get this 8x10 digital download for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

It can be all too easy to look at the world in utter despair. Even as women of faith, we can be tempted to feel profoundly discouraged by the nasty words on social media, by the horrific behaviors of some priests, by seeing disgusting things that offend basic human dignity, and by the overall tonality of negativity that is so pervasive around us. The world is full of the sinful behaviors of our fellow humans and sinfulness of our own selves. Feeling fearful and uncertain and even intensely anxious is a near daily battle amid this messiness. And so, I pray and shake my fist at the sky, “What am I supposed to do about this, Lord?!” His answer to me has been “You cannot do anything about them!” (Oof, that truth cut deep into my controlling nature.) Striving for Personal Holiness Through grace, I become increasingly convicted interiorly to strive for ever greater personal holiness. What if I can grow in virtue and be a tiny speck of light in my own little corner of the world instead of being anxious about it? Personal Holiness Mnemonic In pondering how I can grow in holiness, I came up with this mnemonic devices to help me to easily remember my game plan for growing in personal holiness. Humbly reflect and self-examine Openly repent, ask forgiveness, and receive mercy Live my Marian consecration; keep eyes on Shepherd, not sins I believe, help my unbelief Never judge people, love them like Jesus Endure strife as purifying and be grateful always Seek God’s will and ask for the grace to live it Share Christ’s love in word and deed Self-Examine + Repent Humbly self-examine and repent is a very uncomfortable phrase to me. Taking a hard look at my words, deeds, thoughts, and actions means accepting that I frequently play a part in some of the unpleasantness around me. It means acknowledging that, while I think my husband is at fault for our disagreement, I must take responsibility for my contribution to that discussion. How much better could my life be if I really do become more humbly aware? The phrase from the Kyrie tropes at the beginning of Mass has spoken to me so clearly lately: “You were sent to heal the contrite. Lord have mercy.” God is standing there, with the profound gift of forgiveness for me and all I need to do is acknowledge my sin—frequently in the presence of Christ’s representative on earth, the priest—and receive that awesome feeling of being made clean! This former Protestant is madly in love with the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Consecration to Jesus through Mary Consecration to Jesus through Mary is a profound game changer for any Catholic. The fruits of it are inspiring as well as challenging. If I can only keep my consecration in the forefront and actually live it as closely as I do around the time of my annual renewal, I could move mountains with that kind of faith. If I can keep it renewed daily. Help My Unbelief I believe, Lord, I truly believe! In my moments of doubt, I need to turn upward instead of inward. God is waiting for me to ask for His help, like any good parent. Yet I struggle and mull over difficulties instead of asking Him. Never Judge People Judging. Oh, man, is there a lot of that going on around us, amiright? It’s nasty and it’s so quickly put out there for all to see. What if, instead of judging someone’s character, I decided to love them like Jesus? What if I love them and make them feel special and cared for before mentioning their error in a charitable way? In society as well as when disciplining my children, what if they first knew I cared about them and that was why I am seeking to correct their actions? I think a lot would change. Endure Strife + Be Grateful Raise your hand if you like to complain about your suffering, too. I’m too eager, like Peter, to say, “Lord I love you and I offer up my sufferings for the good of souls,” until I encounter suffering. Then, I whine, “But this is too much, Lord.” When I see stories of Saints who underwent tremendous strife on their way to Heaven, I am ashamed of my wimpyness. And they were grateful to be doing so for God?! I have a long way to go towards that goal. That’s why it’s on my list for personal holiness. Seeking God's Will Seeking God’s will instead of my own? This might be the hardest one. I have been little Miss Independent since the age of three or so. The thought of giving up my illusion of control, even for better options, represents a struggle for me. Share Christ's Love It also strikes me that living these guiding principles, along with sound Catholic teaching and frequent reception of the Sacraments of course, I might influence my world just by doing so. Perhaps it would be refreshing to be a joy-filled and humble person who loves God and shows it daily in small ways? Would that be more effective than ringing doorbells and talking about Jesus when they answer? Maybe or maybe not, but I’d like to try to show the world how it could be. A Beacon of Light These are my guiding principles. Lofty goals that they are, I am going to press forward each day to achieve them. Imagine if we all spent that energy currently wasted on worry and fear on striving for sanctity. Sounds pretty amazing! May my little speck of light merge with others and create a beacon of light for the world. Please, Lord. Amen. [bctt tweet="A Personal Holiness Mnemonic #BISblog //" username="kellydomanAFC"] Kelly Doman is a grateful convert as of 2000. God chose this stubborn, often goofy, professional organist and mezzo-soprano to mother three boys. In her job as God’s babysitter for these boys, two of whom are on the Autism Spectrum, Kelly re-learns daily that she can’t do it on her own strength. She, her husband and their boys are dedicated to the Apostolate for Family Consecration, love their charism of helping families live the faith, and retreat to Catholic Familyland annually to recharge. Find out more about her here.

In January, Anne Helen Peterson called out a disturbing cultural trend in her viral Buzzfeed article "How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation." Peterson explained, "In a marked shift from the generations before, millennials needed to optimize ourselves to be the very best workers possible." She pointed out many harmful psychological effects of attempting to find fulfillment in a job and shaming ourselves when we are not being productive. As I read the article, I found myself nodding in agreement to many of her statements. Afterward, I felt discouraged. How can we uphold the dignity of the human person when in popular culture we are reduced, as Peterson points out, to "a product"? A Christian Response to Millennial Burnout I took this question to prayer, and the Lord responded with an overwhelmingly simple solution: Love. Although our culture tells us we must to work hard to validate our dignity, in fact we have already been dignified by God's love for us. By giving and receiving God's love, we can see ourselves for who we really are: God's beloved creations. Instead of striving for important accomplishments, let's infuse every action with love. Instead of seeking validation for our talents and abilities, let's seek affirmation from the One who loves us no matter what. Giving Love In a culture that values extreme efficiency and major accomplishments, I often feel insignificant. I can certainly relate to St. Thérèse of Lisieux, who wrote in her autobiography, "I am a very little soul who can offer only very little things to God." But a few pages later, she added, "Jesus does not demand great deeds." What matters to Jesus is the love in our hearts. Mother Teresa of Calcutta instructed her sisters to "Do small things with great love." Scripture affirms that love gives meaning to our time—not the quantity or greatness of our actions. "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all the mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing." (1 Cor 13:1-3). Giving Love is a Choice Now, this doesn't mean that we have to feel happy and excited about every kind act. Sometimes, choosing someone else's needs and desires over our own can be unpleasant. But love makes all the difference. Notice how new parents cradle their babies. Even a sleep-deprived, frustrated mother holds her child with tenderness and protection. Recently, my dad described a nursing home resident hooked up to a lot of medical equipment who spends her days lying in bed. Whenever my dad visits, she re-gifts him a card or small object from her room. By society's standards, that may not be much. But to my dad, those gestures of kindness have a big impact. God can use all of our actions, no matter how insignificant in the eyes of the world, to spread His love. [bctt tweet="God can use all of our actions, no matter how insignificant in the eyes of the world, to spread His love. #BISblog //" via="no"] Receiving Love Receiving love is harder for me. Sure, God loves me unconditionally, but it's difficult for me to accept His love because haven't met my own requirements. Peterson has me pinned: I feel that I'm not talented or important enough, and I constantly try to improve myself so I can do more. If I don't meet my goals, I consider myself unworthy of love. I feel that my weaknesses decrease my dignity. And I have a great many weaknesses. So I get stuck. To understand my self-worth, I turn to folks with developmental disabilities as my role models, especially those with Down syndrome. While every person is different, overall I find that my friends and patients with developmental disabilities demonstrate an innate understanding of their value. They don't seem to compare themselves to their typically-abled peers. They're much more concerned with having fun than achieving important goals. They seem confident that their wants and needs are important and they receive love unconditionally. I want to be like that. Thérèse of Lisieux wrote, "Nowadays I'm resigned to seeing myself in a permanent state of imperfection and I even delight in it." Delight in our imperfections? This goes against everything popular culture teaches. But Thérèse is right. If we open our hearts to God's love, we can transcend the expectations of the utilitarian world by allowing ourselves to be imperfect. God cherishes all of us, regardless of our abilities—a surgeon saving lives is as important as a patient whose only job is to receive medical care. God doesn't require us to be talented, productive, or even hardworking to receive His love. Mother Teresa said, "It is only when we realize our nothingness, our emptiness, that God can fill us with himself." And the Lord says to us in Scripture, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor 12:9). It turns out dignity isn't something we can earn by meeting certain criteria. We are already dignified even with our flaws and shortcomings, because God loves us unconditionally. Pushing Back I applaud Anne Helen Peterson for pointing out the destructive consequences of the culture of optimization. Now I encourage her—and all of us—to push back. Life isn't about productivity. Life is, ultimately, about love. By giving and receiving God's love, we can overcome cultural pressures to work hard to prove ourselves. Let's be intentional in our small moments, and let's claim our identities as God's lovely creatures. Our dignity doesn't come from being the most efficient workers. Our dignity comes from God's love. Will we change the world by changing our attitude? Maybe not. But that's not the point. Jesus just wants us to open our hearts to give and receive His love. [bctt tweet="A Christian Response to Millennial Burnout #BISblog //" via="no"] Kiki Hayden is a writer and bilingual Speech Therapist living in Texas. She is a Byzantine Catholic. Find out more about how God uses speech therapy to change her life here. This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for supporting Blessed is She!

I should have somehow known my children wouldn't come to me biologically. I was a horrible patient (still am) and detest any type of medical procedure. The Lord looked after my health in extraordinary ways, it seems. I’ve never had a broken limb, a single surgery (yep, still have my tonsils and appendix), or braces as a child. I was quite fortunate, I recognize, especially when I reflect on the memories of my youth playing in creeks, jumping out of tree houses, and being a kid of the seventies—running amuck outside until my mother hollered for us to come in at dusk. My point is that I should have maybe surmised that delivering a baby wasn't in God's plan for me. In fact, I pretty much lacked the motherly instinct altogether for years. I remember watching a dear friend, in our late twenties, read What to Expect When You're Expecting. As she researched pregnancy, I simply shook my head in disbelief, unknowing why she was so interested in babies, when I was completely (sadly) absorbed in my own dreams and materialistic expectations. But, thankfully, that would all change. My Idea of Family Planning At one point in our early thirties, my husband, Jim, and I decided—since our friends were all having children—that maybe it was time to start our family too. However, pregnancy wasn't happening for us after several years of the “infertility drill” of buying ovulation test kits, tracking cycles on the calendar, and trying to figure things out on our own. With my Type-A personality, and in an effort to take matters into my own hands, I formulated a new plan. My plan "A" involved two rounds of artificial insemination, and my plan "B" was fixed on one round of invitro fertilization, if all else failed. But, in my head, I never thought it would come to that Plan “B”, because, as you now know, I wasn’t a fan of anything medical. Plan A We found a specialist who was on our insurance plan. Even so, we were prepared to spend a significant amount of money on this new path, since most of the services weren’t covered. When we entered into the beautifully-decorated, warm and fuzzy doctor’s office, Jim and I felt pretty good about it all. I mean, it certainly looked like a successful and comfortable way to go, with pictures of healthy babies hanging on every wall. When we met with the medical team, I specifically requested that they not take scientific measures to help us have a baby. I had obviously not done much research on all of this and the fact that it was all scientific by design. I had just “felt” like it was a viable path for us. The interesting part was that, inside, even without a Catholic Faith-based compass at the time, I knew that I didn't want "science" involved. I asked the nurse if they could refrain from sperm selection and also asked that they not inject me with any type of hormone that would make me feel all gross and bloated and unnatural. In a weird way, it was kind of like I wanted to go through with the medical procedures, but I also wanted God to be the one to make it work, not the doctors. (Please, I share this with absolutely no judgment, sisters. We all hold our own stories.) The Holy Spirit Wrecked My Plan We reported to the office promptly when it was time. But, oddly, it didn't feel like it was time. We went into the exam room, and I followed the instructions of the nurse to lie on the table while the procedure began. And that's when it happened. As I was lying there, with my supportive, loving husband by my side, I suddenly felt a very strong sense that I wasn’t supposed to be there. I heard a voice say, "Go and don't ever come back." It shook me to the core. I know now that was the Holy Spirit, but I wasn’t aware of it then. After the nurse finished the procedure, I got dressed and we left that office. We headed to Dunkin' Donuts for coffee and that's when I told Jim what had happened. Not only did I know that both my Plan "A" and "B" had just been foiled that morning, but I also knew inside that pregnancy would not take place on that day. We decided to stop actively “trying” to get pregnant altogether. God's Good Plan Several years later, God would reveal His plan. The Lord pricked our hearts in a massive way through the loss of a precious boy’s life. Stephen was six. He fought cancer hard, but he took his last breaths with his family and friends by his side. And when his brave Mama stood up at the podium on the altar and consoled the masses in attendance at his funeral, she reached a different place in my heart. It was a place that screamed, I want that. I instantly longed for her faith that seemed unwavering in her darkest hour. I longed for her selfless and overflowing love for her child, the way Mary loved Jesus. That experience changed my life and ultimately led us to the Catholic Faith. Several months later, I went to my annual ob-gyn appointment, and my doctor began grilling me with questions. "Do you want a family? Do you want kids?" I still wasn't sure how we would even get to that with our pregnancy failures. But I did know one thing with all my heart - my husband would be the best dad in the world, and I wanted that for him. The doctor handed me a large white packet from an adoption agency called Wide Horizons for Children and gave it to me to take home and look over. They'd just received it in their office that week. Coincidence? Nope. His timing is always perfect. Considering Adoption I took that packet home and studied it for days. Jim studied it, too. We read up on all the various country programs and options available. But God. God had planted a seed in my husband at the young age of fourteen years old as a high school student in Clawson, MI. As a ninth-grade student, he'd remembered learning about the "Dying Rooms" in China—rooms where countless unwanted baby girls cried and cried, until their little bodies had no more fight, and they cried themselves into the arms of our Lord. Jimmy knew that he wanted to go to China to adopt one of those baby girls. And I was perfectly content with that plan. So Much Better than I Planned It took time and glorious unfolding, but I look back now in awe, thirteen years later. We've now completed five adoptions and the Lord has changed the course of our lives forever. These children have blessed us beyond measure, and then some. They may not have my blood, but oh they are mine. All because I listened to the Holy Spirit that day. This is for you, weary sisters in the midst of family planning struggles. Take heart and rest in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He is a good, good Father. [bctt tweet="The Holy Spirit and Family Planning #BISBlog //" via="no"] Lisa Murphy is a Catholic convert living in South Florida and the Founder of Open Hearts for Orphans, a 501c3 non-profit organization created to care for orphaned and abandoned children and provide financial grants for adoptive families. Learn more at about Lisa’s ministry on the website, Facebook page, and Instagram. Lisa is also the Author of With an Open Heart, a true story of love, loss, and unexpected blessings, available on Amazon, chronicling their family's adoption of their son Daniel. Additionally, Lisa is a founding partner of a new Catholic, pro-life adoption ministry called ARISE for adoption. This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for supporting Blessed is She!

A Rule of Life is a traditional Christian tool for ordering one’s vocation. Found most often in religious community life, a Rule can also be used by laypeople – whose state in life is no less a calling from God. It consists primarily in the examination of one’s vocation and the duties it entails, and the development of a schedule for fulfilling these responsibilities in a consistent and orderly way. A Rule is an organization of everything that has to do with your vocation, based on a hierarchy of the priorities that define the vocation and done with the intent to please God. -Holly Pierlot, A Mother’s Rule of Life   The Freedom of A Rule of Life Since my childhood, I have flourished when I am faithful to a routine. A routine gives life and meaning to our everyday tasks, while keeping us faithful to the goals we set. Routines, daily rhythms, or a Rule of Life creates structure and space for our duties and tasks and at the same time allows room for the freedom to create, be spontaneous and flexible, flourish, and thrive. Needing Guidance and Help I remember Googling “daily routine with a newborn” when my son Peter was born. I felt frustrated when I couldn’t find something that fit my life. I knew in my heart that I had duties—to God, to myself, to Mike, and to Pete— that could not be ignored. Yet I felt like I was neglecting to spend time with God, and neglecting proper care and time for myself. I often felt guilty, tired, and not enough. Shortly after this time the book, A Mother’s Rule of Life was introduced to me. This book completely transformed our family’s life. A Rule of Life In A Mother’s Rule of Life, the author was overwhelmed with the state her family was in and the volume of her daily tasks. After reflecting on Saint Mother Teresa’s Rule for her order, the Missionaries of Charity, the author decided to create her own rule of life for her family. She reflected upon the duties of her vocation and decided to create a routine for her family based on the “Five P’s”: prayer (God) person (herself) partner (spouse) parent provider Very quickly, she and her family flourished. There were times designated for every aspect of her life. Instead of being overwhelmed, peace abounded. A Rule of Life For Every Vocation No matter what vocation you are living, a daily routine, a rhythm for your day, is essential. Creating a rule of life brings order, which in turn brings freedom, peace, and balance. Instead of thinking about your to-do lists or being thrown into your day with no roadmap, you know each task has a designated time and you are able to live fully and freely in the present moment. The spiritual benefits are incredible. By following your rule of life, you are doing what you ought, that is, you are striving towards fulfilling your duties towards God, yourself, and others.     A Summer Rule of Life Our routine and rhythms often change. They can evolve as we grow into a new vocation, start a new job, or experience something new. They may need to be tweaked and changed each season, or even each month. A rule of life should be freeing, not enslaving. It is different for each person based on their state of life, vocation, needs, goals, habits, and desires. The start of a new season is the perfect time to create a rule of life if you don’t have one, or to reflect and make changes to your rule if you do have one established. Summer often brings with it the end of a semester or the start of a new vocation or job. Or, it could be a time of rest and rejuvenation. Focus on what God is calling you to do and pray about who He is asking you to become this summer. What changes do you want to make in your life? Set goals for the summer, prioritize those goals, and begin to schedule your day around accomplishing them. A Few Tips Here are a few tips I have found helpful in creating my summer rule of life. Reflect on your vocation. “A Rule is an organization of everything that has to do with your vocation, based on a hierarchy of the priorities that define the vocation and done with the intent to please God.” A rule of life is not just a schedule, it is a response to God. It is a means of sanctification. Define your vocation, write down your duties, and set time aside for each of your daily tasks. Put your rule up in your house where you will see it. Have an extra copy on hand and utilize and reference it when you plan your week’s schedule. Be flexible and leave room for spontaneity. I have changed and tweaked (and will continue to!) my routine several times and will continue to. My son will be three years old this May, and each month brings with it different developmental changes and needs. If something is not working in your routine, change it! The best thing to do is begin and try, and make changes as you go. Ask God to send you a Saint to help you accomplish your daily duties and tasks. Pray to your guardian angel. Say a little prayer before starting your tasks, offering all you do to Mother Mary, asking her to purify your work and rest. Create a binder for your summer. Place a copy of your rule in it, any goals you would like to accomplish, summer activities, prayer and study projects, faith life for you and your children, virtues you are working on, contact information of spiritual directors, Mass times, Confession times, any liturgical traditions or practices you wish to incorporate into your life, household chores, pantry checklists, seasonal chores, clothing needs, birthday gifts, and hobby ideas. Know that your rhythm, routine, or Rule, is different than your neighbor’s. It is easy to compare our lives to the lives of others, yet we all have unique gifts, situations, and needs. A rule of life helps me realize my distinctive gifts and needs and at the same time encourages me to grow and cultivate who I am as a person. Our Summer Rule of Life Rhythm I’ve included our weekly rhythm as a guide. I pray that it helps you to establish your own rule of life. This weekly routine isn’t our entire rule, but it is a good place to start. If you have any suggestions, please let us know in the comments below! We are always looking for ways to improve our rule! Weekday Rhythm Monday – Friday 6 AM: rise | morning offering | workout | load of laundry | shower | get ready 8 AM: breakfast | clean kitchen | get Peter ready for day | make beds | prepare lunch 9 AM: morning prayers with Peter | free play | dinner meal prep Monday: Our Father | crafts: coloring, drawing, cutting Tuesday: Hail Mary | building: trains, legos, workbench, magnatiles Wednesday: Glory Be | outing Thursday: Bible Verse | alphabet: flashcards, letters, words, writing letters Friday: Memorare | numbers, animals, and Montessori activity 11 AM: lunch | cleanup | forward laundry 12 PM: Mass | if staying in, Rosary 1 PM: Peter’s nap | quiet time | work on business and blog 3 PM: snack | Divine Mercy Chaplet | play outside (weather permitting) | read aloud | one chore Monday: vacuum Tuesday: launder bathroom rugs Wednesday: dust downstairs, clean windows, clean cupboards Thursday: launder bedding Friday: take stock of pantry, food, cleaning products, diapers, wipes, and toiletries 5 PM: meal prep | dinner | make Mike’s lunch | clean kitchen | fold laundry 7 PM: family play | give Mike personal time 8 PM: Peter snack, bath, night routine, prayers, bed | clean Peter’s playroom | put items in living and sitting room in rightful place | put away laundry 9 PM: spend time together 10 PM: night prayer | bed Weekend Rhythm Saturday 7 AM: rise | morning offering | breakfast | clean kitchen | put in load of laundry 8 AM: shower | all get ready for day 10 AM: grocery shop | put away food | cut up/chop carrots, onions, garlic, celery for week’s meals 12 PM: lunch | clean kitchen | forward load of laundry 1 PM: Peter’s nap | quiet time | rest 3 PM: snack | Divine Mercy Chaplet | fold and put away laundry | vacuum upstairs | clean upstairs bathroom 5 PM: meal prep | dinner | clean kitchen 7 PM: family time 8 PM: Peter snack, bath, night routine, prayers, bed | clean Peter’s playroom | put items in living and sitting room in rightful place 9 PM: spend time together 10 PM: night prayer | bed Sunday 7 AM: rise | morning offering | breakfast | clean kitchen 8 AM: shower | all get ready for day | prepare Peter’s diaper bag | prepare tithing 10 AM: Mass 12 PM: lunch | clean kitchen 1 PM: Peter naps | quiet time | rest 3 PM: snack | Divine Mercy Chaplet | paragraph from Catechism | review upcoming week | write in planner 5 PM: meal prep | dinner | make Mike’s lunch | clean kitchen 8 PM: Peter snack, bath, night routine, prayers, bed | clean Peter’s playroom| put items in living and sitting room in rightful place 9 PM: spend time together 10 PM: night prayer | bed Do you have a rule of life for your family? How does it change during the summer? [bctt tweet="Creating a Rule of Life for the Summer #BISblog //" username="findphilothea"] This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links! LITURGICAL PLANNERS Our Liturgical Planners are based on the Litany of Humility. Enter into prayer every day alongside this beautiful Litany. Order your days in His peace. GET YOUR PLANNER

There’s a story about St. Jane de Chantal's transformation that has always intrigued me. It’s included in each of the dozen or so biographies of her that I’ve read, even the ones that typically sugarcoat her shortcomings. I think that’s because it has an important lesson to teach us. Jane had a longstanding habit of rising at 5 a.m. to pray. In those days, a lady of Jane’s standing didn’t rise by herself. She needed a maid to light her fire, help her dress, and tidy her room. Alarm clocks weren’t invented yet, so the poor servant lay awake half the night, every night, worrying she might oversleep Jane’s early summons. Her spiritual director, St. Francis de Sales, found out and put a stop to it. “Your devotion must be so loving to God and so considerate for your neighbor that no one is inconvenienced by it,” he told Jane, who apparently had never considered how her pious routine affected her maid. Jane started letting the woman sleep and took to lighting her own fire, making her own bed, and sweeping her own floor. It was a small change but others noticed. “Madame’s old confessor made her say her prayers three times a day and we were all tired of it,” Jane’s servants joked, “but the new one makes her pray all day long and no one is put out.” If I Had the Perfect Setting... My first reaction on reading that story was to scoff at the whole setup. Jane had a maid to help her dress every morning? Well, no wonder she was so disciplined and pious. If I had personal servants fussing over my children and me, I could find more time to pray, too. And how is it that this holy woman renowned for her selflessness needed a Doctor of the Church to point out that her sacrifice of sleep wasn’t much of a sacrifice if it required someone else to sacrifice even more sleep so she could pray in comfort? Seems glaringly obvious to me. That’s the thing about perfectionism, though. It rivets your attention on yourself—what you need to do, what you’re doing wrong, how you’re progressing or not—and blinds you to everyone and everything else. Jane was so busy meeting this arbitrary spiritual goal she’d set for herself that she didn’t realize she was stepping on someone else to do it, that her gotta-do-this-the- right-way-right-now piety was robbing others of what they needed and maybe even souring them on God. It’s easy for me to see this in Jane’s life, just as it was easy to see it in Grandma’s. What’s not so easy is to see it in my own. My Influence as Mother Motherhood has helped—especially homeschooling, which has been an education for me as much as for my children. I see every day how my mood affects theirs, how the way I approach a task dictates, to a large degree, how they will approach it, too. If I’m tense and hurried and annoyed, they’ll respond with anxiety and petulance and discouragement. If I’m calm and peaceful and gentle, they’ll push through and persevere. “Perseverant, not perfect,” I tell one of my daughters, whose hair-trigger frustration with mistakes reminds me a little too much of my own. “We don’t have to be perfect. We just have to keep trying.” That’s me on a good day. On a bad day, when I haven’t had enough sleep and I haven’t had a break from the kids all week and my son is flopping out of his desk and can’t remember the poetry line I spoon-fed him three times in the last five minutes because he’s too busy eavesdropping on the sibling squabble he hears in the next room, I lapse into bad habits. “We’re not going to take a break until you get this right,” I snapped one morning last spring, bolting out of my chair and fanning myself with the lesson plan. “It has to be perfect.” “Perfect?” he repeated, his voice suddenly high and plaintive. He looked up at me from his little desk, tears now welling in his eyes. “Perfect? I can’t be perfect.” Boom, there it was. Now I was actually telling my children to be perfect. I tried to backpedal, but the words were out there. And in the moment I said them, I meant them. I was tired of patience, tired of incremental progress and good enough and try again tomorrow. I wanted perfect. Now. Don't Demand Perfection, Ask for Grace Times like those leave me no room to doubt that my harshness and haste affect my children. They also remind me that cultivating gentleness and patience is more than a matter of knowing better or trying harder. I know better than to demand perfection of myself or my children or my life. Yet I do it anyway sometimes. And I can’t stop without God’s grace. Grace is always there for the asking. Opening my heart to receive it isn’t easy, though, especially on the heels of a dispiriting fall. What I’d rather do in that moment is evade, rationalize, or brood—anything but face my fault squarely, ask for forgiveness, and move on. Showing God's Mercy Yet that’s exactly what I need to do, both for my sake and for the sake of the children who are watching me to learn how they should respond to their own falls and slips. If I refuse to show gentleness to myself and accept God’s mercy for my failures, what does that tell them about the reality of that mercy? How does that prepare them for the day that will someday come when their own sin seems huge and God’s mercy seems impossibly distant and the devil whispers that it’s not worth even trying to recover from their fall? Will they remember my platitudes about perseverance? Or only how they saw me responding to my own sins? Probably the latter. And what I want them to remember is not a mother who beat herself up every time she fell but one who humbly acknowledged her mistakes, reached out for God’s helping hand, and scrambled back to her feet, ready to try again—and again, and again. Excerpted and adapted from The Heart of Perfection by Colleen Carroll Campbell. Copyright © 2019 by Colleen Carroll Campbell. Published by Howard Books, a Division of Simon & Schuster. Used by permission. [bctt tweet="How Jane de Chantal Impacted Me as a Mother #BISblog //" via="no"] Colleen Carroll Campbell is an award-winning author, print and broadcast journalist, and former presidential speechwriter. Her books include her critically acclaimed journalistic study, The New Faithful, and spiritual memoir and My Sisters the Saints, which won two national awards and has been published in five languages. Find out more about here here.

I was out running errands when I got the text. It was one of those days, you know? There was so much to do that I knew when I left to take the kids to school in the morning, I wouldn’t make it home before I had picked them up again. The groceries were piled in the back of the van and I had just hopped back into the driver’s seat when the text came through from my son. Mom! Turn on the news! And in the next second, another text. This time it was a picture, a screenshot of a burning cathedral with the caption, “Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris on Fire.” My son, the junior in high school, who had seen this on the news after finishing a physics test, sent word to me that one of our Church’s most treasured houses was burning down. I was stunned. Not only by the gravity of the situation in Paris (I’m sure we all felt that when we heard the news), but the fact that my little-boy-turned-young-man was perceptive enough to know that this was something his mom should be aware of. Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was recounting the ways of the world to him? Times change, don’t they? Swept Away Times do change, and most often, whether we like it or not, we are expected to change with them. We humans are a funny lot, though. When life slogs on and not much seems to be happening, we wish that something—anything—would be different. We tire of being stagnant, that proverbial stick in the mud that cannot be moved. But as soon as life gets just a little too hectic and the changes start coming fast and furious, we may feel like that stick in the mud is being swept away downstream against its will. We begin to wish that normalcy would return. We wonder to ourselves and to God, why can’t things stay the same just for once?! Seasons Transition and change, though, are built into our lives through nature itself. God created our years with an ebb and flow, barrenness and abundance, death and life. The seasons move seamlessly from one to the next. Old things pass away and new life follows. Just so, our lives have seasons. Sometimes, those seasons morph so neatly from one to the next that we barely even notice it happening. One day our children are babies and the next day they’re running down the soccer field. One day our parents are taking care of us and then we realize that the roles have reversed and we’re the ones taking care of them. When we realize that our Good God has designed these seasons into our lives, we can see His hand of Providence more clearly. We can trust that “this too shall pass”—the discomfort we feel in our new role, the grief that rears its head when we think about what and whom we’ve lost. Consistency in Change One of the things we can count on in our human experience is that change is inevitable. There is consistency in change. However, one of the things we can count on is Our Lord. He never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Steady. No matter what our state in life is, no matter how chaotic and tumultuous we consider our lives to be, we have a Touchpoint that never moves. A Beacon to shine through our dark days and a Compass to guide us when we feel lost in our new surroundings. When It All Seems Too Much Sisters, I know that to some of us, this all sounds hunky dory, but our lives are just too crazy right now. There is too much going on. Too many changes happening at once. Personally, I’m feeling the crunch at the end of this school year. I have one child finishing elementary school and making the transition to middle school. Another child is finishing middle school and heading into high school in the fall. And that sweet boy who took time out of his day to tell his mom about the devastation in Paris? He has his first real job this summer, will be a senior in high school next year, will turn 18, and then will happily move out of our house and transition into college. And with all of these changes happening for my kids, I can only imagine how my role as their mother will change...and quickly! Your struggles are probably different from mine. You may be facing a change in your career, looking at a cross-country move. Maybe you are getting married, having a baby, or moving your parents into a care facility. The opportunities God gives us to change and grow are as diverse as we ourselves are. The Word I want to leave you, friend, with some encouragement for your journey. Choose one of these truths from the Word God has given us as your own personal encouragement. He tells us in Scripture that He will always be there. Let us cling to His steadiness when everything else seems to be shifting. All good giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no alteration or shadow caused by change. (James 1:17) But the plan of the LORD stands forever, the designs of his heart through all generations. (Psalm 33:11) Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. (Hebrews 6:17-18) Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) God is not a human being who speaks falsely, nor a mortal, who feels regret. Is God one to speak and not act, to decree and not bring it to pass? (Numbers 23:19) For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39) He is always with us, sisters. He says so Himself. Which verse will you hold onto in your time of transition? How does our Lord speak His constancy to you? [bctt tweet="The Constancy of God During Our Times of Transition #BISblog //" via="no"] This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

I was nervous as we pulled up to the apartment complex. My boyfriend got out of the car with me and we walked up to meet my friend, Roy. Roy is a recovering alcoholic who has been homeless in the past, but is now in housing. He’s also one of the most faithful Catholics I know and has a heart for our Blessed Mother. He’s a little shaky on his feet after being hit by a car as a pedestrian several years ago. We met when I was a missionary doing homeless outreach and have stayed in touch ever since. My boyfriend gently grabbed hold of Roy’s elbow and walked him to the car door. Each of them had heard plenty about the other. I was eager for my boyfriend to meet someone so important in my life, and nervous and hopeful that Roy would approve. This meeting was in some ways more important and more telling for me than my boyfriend meeting my parents. I dropped the two men off at the park where we were headed to meet some other homeless friends and missionaries for lunch. I held my breath and hoped the two men had something to talk about. When I walked up after parking the car nearby, I let out a sigh of relief to see them talking and laughing. I was so grateful for my boyfriend coming to meet Roy and several other homeless friends with me. My boyfriend commented that he loved seeing that part of me and watching me come alive in that setting. It's one of the best compliments he's ever given me. Important Discussions During Dating In the early stages of a dating relationship we may talk about our family upbringing, what we’re looking for, and so on. As things get more serious, old wounds might be covered, how you’d like to parent children, and more. But what about a conversation about the homeless? Do we ask our significant other how important serving is? What are his default assumptions about homeless people? What about tithing? Serving the Poor is Not Optional in Your Vocation Several years ago, I had the opportunity to serve with a ministry in Denver, Colorado called Christ in the City. Around 25 young people make a commitment for a year or two years to live together, receive formation, and walk the streets daily looking for homeless people to talk to. So after serving the homeless for two years and having ongoing friendships with many of them, maybe I’m biased. But then again, maybe the Church is, too. Serving the poor in your marriage is not optional. It’s part of the wedding Mass, and the poor that your family has served will be the ones who welcome you into eternity. The first option for the final blessing of a wedding Mass is as follows: May you be witnesses in the world to God's charity, so that the afflicted and needy who have known your kindness may one day receive you thankfully into the eternal dwelling of God.   Are we practicing in our dating relationships the care for the poor that we would like to have as part of our family culture? Ways to Serve the Poor and Homeless in Your Dating Relationship Here are some ways you can incorporate serving the poor into your dating relationship. See what ministries are in your area. Are there local food banks that serve the homeless? If so, try to not just serve the meal, but also to sit down with the guests and share it with them. Be bold in reaching out to strike up a conversation. It may be awkward at first, but they are likely going to be grateful for a kind word and someone to listen to them. Be prepared to help. Make a habit of rolling down your car window when you see someone who’s homeless on the street corner. Keeping socks, water bottles, or soft granola bars (for those with teeth problems) in the car can be an easy conversation starter (check out these Blessings Bags for more ideas). But if you don’t have anything to offer, be not afraid! Say hello and ask the person’s name. Offer to pray for them and be sure to follow through. This is hard for me, even after two years of daily accompanying the homeless. There’s a fear of awkwardness. What if they just want something from me and don't want to talk? But take courage! This can also be a vulnerable interaction between you and your significant other. If he thinks it’s silly to just say hello, this might be a good conversation starter. Or if you’re too afraid, ask him to be brave the first time and start the conversation. See if you can call each other on to notice the homeless more, to smile, make eye contact, and recognize their dignity. Pray for the poor. It could be part of your prayer before meals to pray for those who go hungry and those who are lonely. Remember the names of the homeless you meet while serving or driving and pray for them. And ask them to pray for you. What a gift it is to entrust someone, who maybe doesn’t receive the trust of many, with your intentions. Make greater sacrifices. Think about making sacrifices in your spending and use that money to tithe as a couple. Maybe it’s not going out to eat one Saturday during the month, and setting aside the money you would normally spend on dinner. Or making coffee at home and enjoying it on the front porch instead of at a coffee shop. These little sacrifices help us get into the rhythm of thinking more of the poor, maybe even more so than a direct withdrawal to a charity. These tips can also be practiced as a family if you’re already married and help to encourage your kids to think often of the poor. Let’s be bold in reaching out to those most in need through our kindness and prayers. Hopefully, we will have the joy of one day being greeted by them in eternal life. [bctt tweet="The Homeless and Your Dating Relationship #BISblog //" via="no"] Makena Clawson served with Christ in the City from 2015-2017. She enjoys speaking Spanish, painting little gifts for friends, and hearing people’s stories.

May is the typical month for ordination to Holy Orders within the Church, which means for weeks now, families and friends of those being ordained have probably been wondering what to give the newest members of our clergy. I’m gonna let you in on a little secret: your newest priest or deacon probably doesn’t need any more religious items like Rosaries, Crucifixes, holy cards, or icons. They already have them. A lot of them. So many that they don’t know what to do with all of them. In fact, I once had a priest tell me to contact him if I needed any religious items for my classroom. He had an entire closet full of beautiful statues, crosses, and other religious images that he simply had no place to display. (It was impressive, and I got some cool stuff for free). Another priest once said to me, “It’s true, I get lots of beautiful Rosaries as gifts. And I do appreciate them, but perhaps not in the manner that the giver intends. Typically I end up giving them to people who come to me in distress, or individuals on the street. I’ve never kept one for myself.”[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row content_placement="middle" css=".vc_custom_1544725066302{border-top-width: 5px !important;border-right-width: 5px !important;border-bottom-width: 5px !important;border-left-width: 5px !important;padding-top: 20px !important;padding-right: 40px !important;padding-bottom: 20px !important;padding-left: 40px !important;background-color: #f3e5d3 !important;border-left-color: #b88943 !important;border-left-style: solid !important;border-right-color: #b88943 !important;border-right-style: solid !important;border-top-color: #b88943 !important;border-top-style: solid !important;border-bottom-color: #b88943 !important;border-bottom-style: solid !important;}"][vc_column][vc_custom_heading text="Get the BIS Blog Posts weekly in your inbox!" font_container="tag:h2|text_align:center" google_fonts="font_family:Karla%3Aregular%2Citalic%2C700%2C700italic|font_style:400%20regular%3A400%3Anormal"] [/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] Ordination Gift Ideas Remember that these men already have mature spiritual lives and already possess religious items of sentimental value. So while these gifts will always be appropriate and appreciated, I wanted to offer some less-traditional gift ideas. Priests and deacons are regular individuals. Just like you and me, they have interests that extend beyond Catholicism. Keep this in mind when choosing a gift, and consider one of the following alternatives. Mystic Monk Coffee For your coffee-loving ordained, Mystic Monk Coffee is roasted “with love and prayer” by an order of Carmelite Monks located in rural Wyoming. You can go big or small, purchasing a “coffee of the month” subscription, or simply choose a bag of one of their delicious blends to give to your loved one! More of a tea-person? Mystic Monk has that, too! They even carry “Monk Shots” to fit in a keurig! A Yeti Tumbler This gift can go hand in hand with some Mystic Monk goodies or can stand on its own for an awesome ordination gift. Priests and deacons are notoriously busy, and nobody likes for their warm drinks to get cold (or vice versa). A Yeti tumbler is a good way to bring a little help and support into each day as our men of Holy Orders run around serving the Body of Christ. Priest Bobblehead Is your one-to-be-ordained the quirky type who loves to joke and laugh? He may enjoy a custom bobblehead made to look exactly like him, especially if he’s a fan of The Office. Sock Religious Socks Another gift for the quirk-at-heart, Sock Religious has an eclectic collection of dress socks featuring Saints, popes, and Jesus. Gift Cards This is not a cop-out. Gift cards to bookstores, restaurants, grocery stores, gas stations, and Amazon are always appreciated by these men. Who doesn’t like the feeling of going out and not having to spend your own money? Similarly, I have a priest friend who asks for gift cards to fast-food restaurants in amounts of $5-$10. He keeps them all in his wallet and hands them out to those in need. Spiritual Bouquet or Prayer Pledge Those who have a vocation to the Sacrament of Holy Orders experience spiritual warfare in a way the laity never will. They greatly need our prayers. Put together a spiritual bouquet of prayers and Masses already said on their behalf. Or, “pledge” prayers. Grab a pocket calendar and write out specific prayers, holy hours, and/or sacrifices you intend to make for them on specific days. This will mean more to them than you know, and it will help their ministry in a very profound way! A Membership of Some Sort Does he like to stay fit? If you have the means, you could offer to pay for his gym membership for the year. Does he like to read? Maybe there’s a magazine or journal subscription he’d like to have. Perhaps he’s a wine aficionado? Get him a membership to a wine-of-the-month club. For any of these gifts, check with the man himself first. Make sure its a subscription to something he wants, not necessarily something you think he’d be interested in. Cash or Check Whether being ordained a deacon or a priest, these men have some big purchases to make in the upcoming months. Vestments, Mass kits, collars, chalices, sick call kits, and so on. All these things really add up. Sometimes there is even a fund set up by his family for a specific need. Check with his family or contact him and ask if he has something picked out that you’d like to purchase. Don’t be afraid to just place an amount in a card—you can always add something small and personal (like a Monstrance sticker). Tickets Buy them tickets to a concert, the movies, sporting events, or a trip abroad. Remember, they’re ordinary people who enjoy life outside their rectory. Also, make sure they aren’t going alone! Papal Blessing This ordination gift takes some planning and has to be requested months in advance, but you can actually receive a special blessing from the pope for your newly ordained cleric! If you don’t have enough time for it to come before the ordination date, don’t freak out! You can still order it for him, write him a lovely note to tell him it’s coming, and deliver it at a later date. (Psst...check with the family to see if he’s already getting one!) For the Best Ordination Gift Ideas, Ask the Man Himself Remember, when it comes to our priests and deacons, one size does not fit all. They all have different interests, likes, dislikes, and abilities. If you’re unsure what to get them, ask them what they need. There is no shame in this and most appreciate it, as it eliminates the stockpiling of gifts and goodies for which they have little to no use (it also saves us from wasting money on goods that might end up in a closet). In the coming years, get to know your priests. Invite them out to restaurants with you, invite them over for dinner or a game night. You’ll learn more about them (like if he’s a fan of Star Wars, who his favorite baseball team is, and if he enjoys contemporary bands). This way you’ll have more ideas for gifts for future occasions and holidays, as well as the privilege and perk of having a priest for a friend. What’s your go-to gift for the newly ordained? Comment below! [bctt tweet="Holy Orders Ordination Gift Guide #BISblog //" via="no"] This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

On May 13th, 1981, Pope John Paul II was shot in Saint Peter’s square on the Feast of Our Lady of Fatima. One of the bullets missed his heart by just inches. John Paul II credited his survival and the offering of his suffering as Providence and said, “one hand pulled the trigger and another guided the bullet,” recognizing Our Lady of Fatima for protecting him. The next year he gave the bullet that had nearly killed him to the shrine in Fatima to be placed in the crown of Our Lady. So who is this Lady of Fatima? Apparitions Begin May 13th marks the anniversary of Our Lady appearing to three shepherd children in Fatima, Portugal in 1917. She appeared to Lucia at age nine, and her cousins Francisco, who was eight, and his sister Jacinta, who was just six. But before Our Lady appeared to the three children, they were first visited by an angel. These apparitions started in 1916 during World War I. During one of these apparitions, in the backyard of Lucia’s house, the angel said to the children, “Make of everything you can a sacrifice, and offer it to God as an act of reparation for the sins by which He is offended, and in supplication for the conversion of sinners.” He forewarned them that they would experience great suffering and pleaded with them to offer up this cross in order that more souls would be won for Christ. Messages from Our Lady When Our Lady finally appeared to the children, she appeared in the pasture where they were shepherding their flocks, next to a holm oak tree. The area was known as the Cova da Iria, or Cove of Peace. She appeared “more brilliant than the sun” and told the children that she came from Heaven. She wore white with a gold-edged mantle. In her hand, she held a Rosary, a prayer which the children would all pray when she appeared to them on the 13th of the month for six consecutive months. (It is believed that the Rosary began in 1214 when Our Lady appeared to St. Dominic and presented him with both the beads of the Rosary and the prayers which accompanied them.) She came to the children asking them to “pray the Rosary every day, in order to obtain peace for the world, and the end of the war.” During her third apparition she gave the children a vision of hell saying, “You have seen hell where the souls of poor sinners go. To save them, God wishes to establish in the world devotion to my Immaculate Heart. If what I say to you is done, many souls will be saved and there will be peace.” She also told the children that in October she would perform a miracle so that all would see and believe. Miracle of the Sun On her sixth apparition on October 13th, she told the children that she wanted a chapel built in the place of her appearance and to be built in her honor. She identified herself saying “I am the Lady of the Rosary.” (The month of October had previously been dedicated to the Holy Rosary in 1883 by Pope Leo XIII.) 70,000 people were in attendance in order to witness the promised apparition. This Miracle is known as the Miracle of the Sun. The Miracle or “dancing of the sun” included the sun changing in color while swirling in the sky and even coming towards the earth. The ground which had been soaked in rain, and even peoples drenched clothing had been completely dried. People reported physical healings of the blind and crippled and numerous witnesses made public confessions and committed their life to Christ. It was reported that the miracle of the sun was even seen up to twenty-five miles away. These proofs led the Bishop to approve the apparition in 1930 and it has now been approved by the Church. The Sanctuary Over seven years ago, while studying abroad in Rome, a few friends and I made a pilgrimage to The Sanctuary of Our Lady of Fatima in Portugal where there are many different places to pray. The Basilica of Our Lady of the Rosary of Fatima stands at the site where three young shepherds saw a sudden flash of lightning on May 13th, 1917. The Basilica holds chapels with the remains of Blessed Jacinta, Sister Lucia, and Blessed Francisco. There is also a 200-column Colonnade in the Sanctuary. In order to accommodate a growing number of pilgrims, a new church called the Basilica of the Most Holy Trinity was built and dedicated in October of 2007. Between the Basilica of Our Lady of the Rosary and the Most Holy Trinity is a large prayer space and one of the most important sights to see, the Chapel of the Apparitions. The Chapel of the Apparitions is the place where Our Lady spoke to Jacinta, Lucia, and Francisco and where she asked that a chapel be built in her honor. The space which occupies Our Lady’s statue is the location where she appeared to the shepherds. It is common for pilgrims to walk to the Chapel of the Apparitions on their knees, while praying the Rosary. I have a specific memory of this from my own pilgrimage. Kneeling Pilgrimage When I visited Fatima, it was not warm and balmy but rather dreary and cold. My friends and I said goodbye to any chance of looking like polished travelers and piled on as many layers as we could. For me, that meant I wore leggings, jeans, and sweatpants. With that attire, I made my kneeling pilgrimage on padded knee...and it still hurt. But that’s not the point of this story. What stood out to me from this kneeling pilgrimage was the woman in front of me. A very thin, bony and elderly woman was making the kneeling pilgrimage in front of me...but with her jeans rolled above her knees. As she slowly knelt her way to the Chapel, her dear husband held her hand all the way through. The sight of her and her spouse made my perspective radically change. I focused less on my own aching knees and instead knelt in awe of the deep spiritual strength and devotion that this woman had, and the loving support of her husband. There Will be Peace This couple I witnessed in Fatima were clearly supporting one another in their goal of salvation, of eternity in Heaven. They were supporting each other in what the message of Fatima emphasizes. Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI states that the central meaning of the message of Fatima is this, “The exhortation to prayer as the path of ‘salvation for souls’ and, likewise, the summons to penance and conversion.” He goes on to encourage us in the faith, because we have the freedom to choose the good and “the freedom to choose evil no longer has the last word.” Let us walk with Mary in confidence and devotion to her Immaculate Heart (you could event start with this daily devotion), and like she promised, “there will be peace.” [bctt tweet="The Feast of Our Lady of Fatima #BISblog //" via="no"]

The blogger Elizabeth Duffy once wrote: If motherhood is hard at times, it’s probably because it allows us, without going terribly far out of our way, to mimic Christ.   Like her, I think there is great benefit to us in acknowledging that we can unite our motherhood―whatever it looks like, physical or spiritual―with Jesus' sacrifice for us. Motherhood is, in fact, a cross, and not just a cross, but for us as women, the sweetest cross, the sweetest suffering. The Family Sanctifies Those two words don't usually get put together: sweetness and suffering. Here's what I mean by the sweetest cross: the cross is chosen perfectly for you. It is your cross, not anyone else's cross. Christ chooses the particular cross that he wants you to bear in motherhood. He promises that His yoke will be easy and His burden light. But that promise is true only if you take up the yoke that He has fitted perfectly to your shoulders. It only works if you don't try to take on someone else's yoke, someone else's idea of perfect motherhood. And sometimes that even means your own idea of perfect motherhood, if it conflicts with the motherhood that God has in mind for you. Motherhood is a path for mothers to sanctify their families, and for mothers, in turn, to be sanctified by and through their families. And moms, in order to do this, God gives you the family that you need. I want to reemphasize that. He gives you the family that you need. He doesn't give you your neighbor's family, or your best friend's, or your frenemy's. He may not even give you the family you want, the family you hoped and prayed for, the family you dreamed of since you were a young girl. For many of us, it means a family bigger or smaller than we imagined. But He gives you the family that will sanctify you. Now the next logical question is, how does that sanctification happen? How do we cooperate with it in our roles as mothers? It starts in our being faithful in the mundane, repetitive tasks of our daily lives. We as mothers are uniquely suited to the work of receiving and bearing Christ's love to the world. We are designed to receive grace, in our souls and especially in our bodies, and to bear it forth to others. The Sanctifying Work of Motherhood That is why the work of our bodies matters so much, why so much of mothering is about the care and feeding of bodies. The wiping of sticky hands. The making of casseroles. The baths, the dressing, the undressing, the tucking in. I sweep the kitchen floor, and I sweep it again, and when I turn around 10 minutes later it is dirty, so I sweep it again to keep the baby from choking to death on a raisin. We work with our feet firmly planted on the ground and our hands at the service of our families. But at the same time, our minds and hearts must be constantly turned toward Heaven. Just as we are called to be faithful in the ongoing tasks of our daily lives, we are called to offer all of it to God. We know, by faith and by practice, that there is more to our work than what is happening with our bodies. We know that as our bodies move, our souls are moved too. It matters! And what matters is not how perfectly our days are going according to plan, but how perfectly we are surrendering our plans to Him. Motherhood is a Blend of the Particular and the Universal While writing this, I asked my children what mothers do. And the answers I got were really telling. See if you can spot the pattern: they protect their children they lead their children to Heaven they hold life they keep the houses clean they give baths they get presents for Christmas, Easter, and birthdays It was a perfect summary. Motherhood is a blend of the particular and the universal. You can think of those two levels—the ordinary everyday actions of our bodies, and the great offering of those actions to God—as the vertical axis of the cross. It stretches from earth, at our feet, to Heaven. We as mothers are to be a conduit, in both directions, to bring heaven down to our families and to offer our families back up. The horizontal axis reaches from the past to the future, and here, too, we are called to surrender. We ache over yesterday's mistakes. We worry about what the future holds for our children. But Christ calls us to live here, now, in the moment we hold in our hands this second. It is only here, at the exact center of the cross, between Heaven and earth, between yesterday and tomorrow, that we get those occasional, exquisite glimpses of heavenly joy in our mothering, when time seems to stop. When you reread your favorite chapter book to the third child who is now old enough to hear it, and they delight in it as much as you did. When your son brings you a fistful of grubby wildflowers, beaming with pride (or, as happened to me once, a dead rat swinging by the tail). When you watch your baby sleep. Or receive First Communion. Or graduate. Or get married. Or ordained. When you know, with every fiber of your being, that you are exactly where God wants you and that you are doing his work. The Glorious Work of Motherhood Sometimes, yes, the repetition, the worry, the heartache—they are all enough to break your heart. And in truth, God is trying to break your heart. But not for sorrow. He uses motherhood to break your heart so that it breaks open enough for Him to come inside and reign there. All of those cracks are to empty us of ourselves so that God can fill in the spaces. Motherhood is designed to bring us to the very end of our own ability so that we recognize our powerlessness before Him. We are to recognize His mercy pouring out and filling every minute of our lives. The results are not up to us. But the everyday effort, the work and the offering, the receiving and bearing forth of grace, living in the present moment...that is up to us. Rest at the center of the cross, and enjoy the work. [bctt tweet="The Work of Motherhood #BISblog //" via="no"] Christy Wilkens is a full-time mother, part-time armchair philosopher who lives in Austin, TX but wishes she lived in Lourdes. She is a wife and mom to six kids, all of whom are special (but some are specialer than others). She writes about special needs, faith, doubt, suffering, and good reads. You can find out more about her here.

The LORD is good: his kindness endures forever, and his faithfulness, to all generations. // Psalm 100:5 Thank you for these beautiful free wallpapers from Michelle Slough. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Remember, Members, you get this 8x10 digital download for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

As I look at my May calendar, I wonder what type of gift I should get my mom for Mother’s Day. Maybe a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble or a Bible study guide. Then again, I know she always loves a fresh bouquet of flowers! I spend some time wondering how my family will gather and celebrate the moms in our lives. The Sting of Mother's Day But for many single women like myself and married women who cannot have or lost children, this yearly day to honor Moms can be sensitive, painful, and sad. It is not a day always filled with joy and happy memories, but can be a day that is triggering, perhaps reminding one of a loss or something they have never experienced. I know I feel that way sometimes about Mother’s Day. My life has gone a much different way than I imagined. I have been married, divorced, and went through the annulment process three years ago. At almost 34 years old, I am still single. While I celebrate and cherish my friends who are moms, there is a little ache in my heart that those things have not been a part of my story yet. Sometimes, as a woman without children, my heart hurts—stings a bit—when the priest makes the announcements for all moms to stand and receive a blessing during Mass on Mother's Day. It is difficult when everyone around you is standing. The Importance of Spiritual Motherhood I believe the call of physical motherhood is beautiful, special, and important. I am so grateful for the radiant, various examples of women I know or follow on social media who do physical motherhood in all kinds of ways. You all my heroes! You are in the trenches of the domestic church and raising up a family of saints. But I do believe sometimes we underestimate the importance of spiritual motherhood. There is no “one way” to be a mother. A mother is anyone who nurtures and brings forth new life. This can be through physically welcoming a child in one’s body or being the best godmother you can be. It can look like bearing life in the Church through new creative pursuits or dreams for the good of God’s people. It can look like mentoring the young women in your youth ministry program or being the best ballet teacher you can be. The Church needs both the witness of physical and spiritual mothers at work, and so I think it is important both be recognized. This Mother’s Day, let us remember and be aware of those for whom this day is difficult and painful. Ways to Beautifully Experience Mother's Day without Children Here are some suggestions for women for whom the celebration of Mother's Day is a tricky one to maneuver. Single Women Reflect on the ways you bring forth life and nurture the lives of people around you. Keep a running list of the names, situations, and experiences. Thank God for these people and blessings. Write a note and drop it in the mail to some of your married friends. Let her know why you cherish your friendship, how she inspires you, and encourage her in her role of physical motherhood. Do you have a group of close, single gal pals? Maybe the day before Mother’s Day take time to celebrate and honor the ways each of you are spiritual mothers. Go to morning Mass followed with brunch (don’t forget the mimosas!). Pray with each other for the desires of your hearts, and take time to affirm the ways you see the other bring forth life in unique ways. Do you have a woman who is married and perhaps struggles or is unable to have children of her own? In a special way, reach out to her on Mother’s Day. Maybe send flowers or a note in the mail. You both share an unmet desire of the heart, be a comfort to each other. Married Women Do you have any close female friends that are single, but desire for a life with marriage and family? Reach out to her this weekend. Maybe send her a little love note in the mail or surprise her with flowers at her apartment. Just let her know you love her and are praying for her. Sometimes dioceses have special Masses for couples that struggle with infertility or loss of a child. There is a historic church in my diocese that offers a Mass for women for whom Mother’s Day is a painful reminder of what they do not have. Contact your diocesan Family Life office to see if they offer anything like that. Supporting One Another in Our Motherhood One of the beautiful things I love about Blessed is She is we are community for all women in all types of life stages, vocations, and ages. What if in a special, intentional way this year we really supported each other in an intentional way? All you single ladies, would you offer a prayer or sacrifice for our married sisters who have lost a child or struggle with infertility this Mother’s Day? Married women with children, would offer a prayer or sacrifice for our single gals who have the deep desires in their hearts to be a wife and mother someday? As a community, as a sisterhood, let’s love and support each other on this day that can be filled with a variety of feelings and emotions for many of us. What would it look like if we honored and celebrated all women, in all the different ways they are a life-giving presence to the world and the Church around them? How can you better support the single women in your life? How can you better encourage the married women in your life? Whether you hold a baby in your arms or ache for that day to come, know you have a role to play in the Church, your community, and in our Blessed is She sisterhood. [bctt tweet="The Experience of Mother's Day without Children #BISblog //" username="amoderngrace"]

Congratulations! You graduated from college! All the studying, cramming, stressing, writing and test taking is over! You’ve worn the cap and gown, and you listened to the famous commencement speaker. via GIPHY You’ve taken the pictures with family and friends, and you have that piece of paper that should be made of solid gold since it cost that much to hold in your hands. Which leaves the “Now what?” question lingering in the air (as well as every conversation you have with family and friends). As if that question has not repeated in your mind over and over and over again... But wait, what if you inverted those two words and asked, “What now?” instead? Instead of fearfully questioning the future, what if you chose to embrace the mystery of the unknown? Tips for Transitioning from College Let me give you some Graduating From College 101 tips to help you. I’m not talking about interview skills or networking ideas. I’m talking about practical ideas on how to grow in relationship with God and others while leaving the safety net of college. So break out the highlighter one more time for some honest ways to embrace the future God has for you! Find a Church and Get Involved If you were lucky enough to have a solid Campus Ministry at your university or campus, you were blessed to have a campus ministry staff and priest preach directly to what you were going through during some of the most formative adult years of your life. Well guess, what? Those days are over. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you now have to find a parish community that is not catering to your age demographic. Finding a parish that has a young adult community can be difficult but not impossible. I know in my post college years, I started a young adult community since we didn’t have one at my parish. That group rooted me in Christ and helped me discover a deep hunger for truth. In order to keep growing in your faith, you need to root yourself somewhere, not wander aimlessly. If you haven’t read John 15 in a while, I want to encourage you to open your Bible and reflect on the need to be attached to the Vine. I see so many young adults jumping from parish to parish searching, but not rooting themselves anywhere. How do you expect to bear fruit when you are not attached to a vine?   Most young adults shop for a parish till they find one that feeds them spiritually. One of our devotions writers found such a parish. When she did, she scheduled a meeting with her pastor to see where her gifts could be used and what ministries the parish had to offer. I would encourage you to do the same. This requires that you know the spiritual gifts you have in the first place, which leads to my next tip... Assess Your Spiritual Gifts I know what you’re thinking and it is the humble thing to say. You either don’t know what your spiritual gifts are or you don’t think I have any spiritual gifts? via GIPHY Well, there is no room for false humility in this blog post, sisters. Sure, for the past few years you have been so hyper-focused on studying, internships, work, and some sort of social life, you have had little time to think about your faith life. Now, you have time to really uncover your spiritual gifts and see how they can be used to glorify God. Nell O’Leary did a fabulous Spiritual Gifts Workshop that is worth your time to watch. Once you have completed the workshop, you will be able to have an honest conversation with your pastor or spiritual director about various ministries, non-profits, or other service organizations you can get involved in. Who knows, God might be calling you to start something new at your parish, with a group of women, or in your city or state. But there is one thing for certain, it starts with assessing your spiritual gifts. Find Your Tribe One of the hardest parts of leaving a university, especially if you went away for school, is the sudden loss of friends. In college, your friends become your family and once everyone moves away to find work or return home, you feel a little lost. Many of the relationships you had in college will sink similarly to the friendships you once had in high school. Some will float to the surface and be there like a lifesaver throughout your adult life. Regardless if they sink or float, don’t sit around and drown in loneliness. Get out there and find your tribe! via GIPHY Host a Blessed Brunch at your apartment or home or attend one in your city. Get involved in a young adult ministry in your diocese or parish. Host weekly Wednesday night dinners where everyone brings a pot luck item and you have non-surface conversations where you talk about what is actually going on your life and where everyone is in their relationship with God. Get out of the house, call people to get coffee, go to the gym, go to a happy hour after work with co-workers, serve in a ministry at your parish, or go to daily Mass and pray for the tribe God has for you. Put effort into forming new relationships and work to keep them alive. Don’t Believe the Lies and Don’t Give into Fear I hate to break it to you, but it is hard to find work once you get out of college. That dream job does not come easily and you might continue to work at Starbucks or Red Robin longer than you planned. You might even move back home with your parents. But this doesn’t mean you are less than anyone else who got that full time job with benefits the second they moved the tassel. There are a lot of lies we hear when things are not going according to our plans. There are also a lot fears that rise up when bills and student loans pile up. In one of my favorite books, Searching For and Maintaining Peace by Fr. Jacque Philip. He breaks fear down into two main categories: fear of God’s provision or fear of suffering. Most of the lies we hear come from one of these two beliefs. Let me give you an example. via GIPHY You hear in your minds that you will never meet the man of your dreams. Guess what? You fear God’s provision and timing as well as suffering loneliness. You are going through serious financial problems and can barely make rent. You are giving into the lie that God won’t provide for you. The thing is that He often provides when we put our pride aside and ask for help and lean into the community He has given us. Sometimes what we need isn’t just money, we need trust in the Lord and all He provides us.   Leaving the comfort of college and the safety student loans and grant money provide is not easy, and neither is trusting God when we haven’t really given that surrender thing a try before. Find a Spiritual Mentor or Director One of the greatest gifts in my young adult life was my spiritual director and mentor. Having someone to help discern major and minor decisions, moments of desolation and consolation, and someone who helped me grow in my faith walk helped me more than I can put to words. My spiritual director helped me strive for balance while finding my worth and value not in my career or job title, but in being God’s beloved daughter. via GIPHY I can’t imagine where I would be if it weren’t for my family, church community, and spiritual director. I would never have taken the leap of faith into youth ministry and that leap opened me to a life I could never have ever imagined. So do yourself a favor and find someone who has a deep relationship with God and a spirituality that you desire and seek their mentorship. Celebrate Finally, celebrate! You did it and what you just completed deserves praise. You will find work, you will find community, and you will find your vocation all in God’s time. Have some fun and celebrate what God has done and will do in your life. He is celebrating you and is proud of your accomplishments. via GIPHY

The countdown has begun! With just about one month left of school, summer is right around the corner. My six children are excited (obviously), and while I appreciate the structure of the school year, I also look forward to slower mornings, less busyness, and an opportunity to linger a little longer. But as we take a break from routines and homework, I don’t want us to take a break from our Faith. So, as I sift through camp brochures and swim lesson schedules, I wonder how to weave our Catholic Faith into our summer plans. One way, I discover, is through books. As parents, we don’t want our children to forget everything they learned during the school year. So we naturally encourage them to keep reading over the summer. Libraries and bookstores are on board with this idea, too, and many offer summer reading programs (with incentives) to keep children reading throughout June, July, and August. Since we want our kids to stay engaged in their Faith and keep reading over the summer, why not combine the two with faith-based books? Catholic Summer Books for Kids Here are eight Catholic books for your children to check out this summer. Written by Catholic authors, elements of faith (some obvious, some subtle) are woven throughout each storyline. The books are organized by age group, and there’s even a bonus suggestion for moms! Young Children Take It To the Queen: A Tale of Hope by Josephine Nobisso explores the role Mary plays in Salvation History. The story, on its own, is delightful, but theological symbols woven throughout add richness and meaning to this original tale. The plot revolves around villagers who transgress against their king. The town is in desolation, so the people seek help from the queen. This soon-to-be favorite includes gorgeous artwork and lessons in virtue and good behavior. As we slow down this summer, it might be a great time to practice mindfulness as a family. Dr. Gregory and Barbra Bottaro wrote Sitting Like a Saint: Catholic Mindfulness for Kids for two reasons: to introduce children to some wonderful Catholic saints, and to help children (and parents alike) develop skills such as self-awareness, focus, problem solving, and resilience. While mindfulness may seem like a newer concept, when presented through a Catholic lens, it dates back to the time of Jesus, when He commanded us to “not be anxious” (Matthew 6:25). Grade School The Chime Travelers series by Lisa M. Hendey includes five books, featuring fun-filled time-traveling adventures. In each book, twins Patrick and Katie Brady find themselves “chime” traveling to a faraway land, where they enter a real Saint’s life. Saints featured in the series include Patrick, Kateri, Francis, and Clare. A Christmas adventure rounds out the series, as the twins travel to Bethlehem and meet up with the Holy Family. During each adventure, they learn a valuable lesson that applies directly to a situation back at home. Each book includes prayers and a short biography of the saint’s life. Fans of Percy Jackson will want to add the Will Wilder trilogy by Raymond Arroyo to their summer reading list. In the first book, The Relic of Perilous Falls, Will Wilder accidentally borrows a sacred relic, which is believed to protect the town of Perilous Falls. While his intentions are harmless, Will’s 12-year-old impulsivity awakens an ancient evil that now endangers the town. To make things right, Will sets out on adventure and proves that while he is young, he can make a difference. The author draws inspiration from the Bible and weaves virtue lessons into the plotline. Middle School 7 Riddles to Nowhere by A.J. Cattapan is the story of seventh-grader Kameron Boyd, who is selectively mute after experiencing tragedy as a young boy. His new Catholic school is the only place that makes life bearable. But when financial trouble threatens to close it, Kam will do anything to keep it open. Seven riddles send Kam and his friends on a scavenger hunt through Chicago’s churches in order to find a treasure sizeable enough to keep the school open. But solving the riddles is not easy, especially because the school’s bully is after the fortune, too. The Bird Face Series by Cynthia Toney follows the life of Wendy Robichaud as she navigates the end of eighth grade and beginning of high school. In the first book, 8 Notes to a Nobody, a school bully schemes against Wendy, and her best friend starts to drift away. At the same time, someone starts leaving her anonymous sticky-note messages all over school. The more Wendy discovers about the people around her, the more lessons she has to learn. This series uses humor and hope to address real issues concerning tweens and teens, including bullying, self-image, blended families, a first innocent romance, and more. High School Roland West, Loner by Theresa Linden is the story of 14-year-old Roland, who is hated by his twin brothers and friendless at his new school. While his father is away on business, he must avoid his brothers' schemes. To free himself from his brothers' first trap, Roland accepts help from Peter Brandt, a kid from school. As he wonders if he can trust Peter, secrets, rumors, lies, and a mysterious box put Roland on a journey that has the power to change his loner status. This is the first in a five-book series about the West brothers. In An Unexpected Role by Leslea Wahl, 16-year-old Josie learns the lessons she needs to discover her authentic self. After experiencing humiliation and peer pressure, Josie flees her home to spend the summer in South Carolina with her aunt. This fresh start turns into the summer of Josie’s dreams. She develops new friendships, and a budding romance begins to blossom. However, when tragedy strikes, Josie recognizes the more important things of life. She learns to rely on her faith, and in the process, she discovers who God created her to be. For Mom In The Grace Crasher by Mara Faro, Julia pretends to be born-again to please her Christian housemates—Mark, a cute EMT, and his mom. Mark knows she’s pretending, but he likes Julia and decides to protect her secret. Missing her Catholic past, though, she finds herself sneaking off to attend Mass. Then, at an open mic night, Dylan, Julia’s musician crush, sings her a song. Now, she is wavering between two guys, fumbling her way through three different churches, and utterly confused about life. Will everything come crashing down on her, or will Julia finally crash into grace? What Catholic fiction books would you recommend for summer reading? Please add to our list in the comments below. [bctt tweet="Catholic Summer Reads for Kids #BISblog //" username="sarahcdamm"] This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links! THE PERFECT BOOK FOR KIDS Rise Up will open up beautiful conversations with your children about the virtues. . This will bring beautiful fruit to your prayer life and to your children's prayer lives. GET RISE UP

When I'm kept up at night by my racing thoughts, they usually revolve around my children. Specifically, they involve rigorous scrutiny of what I am or am not doing to raise them well, ideas for improvement, and decisions that are, in my mind, life or death decisions. Every single time. Once my mind starts to spiral this way, I do my best to remind myself of the most important thing. The most important thing I want them to learn is how to have a relationship with Jesus. Yes, I want them to learn how to tie their shoes and fold laundry, to spell their names and to not interrupt. But at the end of the day, my primary goal is to help them become saints. And although this task can feel overwhelming, once I remind myself that my job is to help my kids know, love, and serve the Lord, I relax. Fostering a Relationship with Christ The beautiful thing about Jesus is that His Heart is ready to relieve my stresses about parenting styles, schooling options, activity choices, and discipline methods. He is my simple answer. And He is my children's simple answer. Helping my children come to know Him really just involves the ways I personally come to know Him more. So I focus on assisting them in: Appreciating (and eventually, frequenting) the Sacraments, especially reception of the Eucharist. Forming life-giving friendships. Creating a Christ-centered learning environment. Encouraging them to use their unique gifts and personality for the Kingdom. Exposing them to the true, good, and beautiful found in nature, the arts, and other people. Turning to God first in both sorrow and joy. Learning how to talk with God and how to recognize His voice, particularly through the Word. This last point is the one I'd like to unpack with you.     Learning How to Talk with God Because God is perfect, every new thing we learn about Him is another reason to love Him. And the best way to learn about Him? Learning about Him in our own hearts, through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. I didn't really know how to talk with God until I was a young adult. Being raised Catholic, I knew my Hail Mary and my Act of Contrition. I even understood the beauty of praying for other people like we do through the petitions at every Mass. And I always nailed the, "Please, God, let me pass this test," plea every time. But actually talking to God as though He was someone I knew? That was a foreign concept. It wasn't until I was shown how to have a real, honest, intimate conversation with Jesus that I even knew it was a thing. Once I opened my heart to Him and allowed Him to speak to me, I couldn't get enough. I learned about His voice first and foremost through Sacred Scripture. I also tuned my ear to His voice through the teachings of the Church, the writings of the Saints, and the wisdom of the liturgy. Through the triumphs and tragedies of my life, His voice has been my unwavering solid ground. My ability to have a conversation with Jesus has brought me back from the brink more times than I can count. Turning to Jesus as my friend has literally changed my life. And that's the most important thing I want my children to know. Leading My Children to the Feet of Jesus I'm not an expert at teaching my children how to talk with Jesus. I'm an unseasoned mom, and most of the time I feel overwhelmed by the concept of raising humans. But I know that our efforts are rewarded, so I'm giving it my best shot. I also realize that I'm not alone in these feelings. I'm not alone in wanting my children to have a personal relationship with Jesus, the kind we may not have had until our adulthood. It was with this heart that we at Blessed is She created Rise Up, our first devotional for kids. We wanted to give the kids in our lives—our own children, our students, our godchildren, our nieces and nephews—something to facilitate a personal encounter with Jesus Christ. We know what such an encounter has done in our own lives, and that's the legacy we want to leave with the next generation. Rise Up seeks to bring kids to the feet of God through examining the virtues which He possess perfectly. As children learn about the virtues (which are laid out by St. Thomas Aquinas), they are immersed in the Word of God, excerpts from the Catechism, and quotes from the Saints. They are led to examination through short reflections ending with a closing prayer. The best part? It's written on a level they can understand without watering down the Truth of the Gospel. Sometimes we underestimate children. But they are capable of grasping great richness, especially when it comes to Christ. After all, He did say that in order to enter the Kingdom, we must be like children. The Legacy I Want to Leave When all is said and done, and I transition out of the season of motherhood where my children share a roof with me, I hope the main lesson they leave with is that Jesus loves them with His whole Heart. I hope that I can help inspire them to return that Love with their own imperfect love. Being an imperfect mother myself, I am grateful for resources like Rise Up to help me teach them to pray, to introduce them to the greatness of God, and to be a facilitator of conversations with Christ that can change the trajectory of their entire lives. What are some ways you're teaching your children to pray? What are the resources that are helping you? [bctt tweet="The Most Important Thing I Want My Children to Know #BISblog //" username="to_the_heights"] THE PERFECT BOOK FOR KIDS Rise Up will open up beautiful conversations with your children about the virtues. . This will bring beautiful fruit to your prayer life and to your children's prayer lives. GET RISE UP

When my husband and I were engaged, one of the first things we did was sit down to figure out which state to get married in. We finally made the decision when we thought back to the first time we had walked into the church I was attending in Raleigh, North Carolina. As our eyes took in the blue, star-covered ceiling, the glow of the stained glass windows, and the old wooden pews, we glanced at each other and tried to hold back our smiles. We weren’t even engaged yet, but a little piece of us knew: someday, that’s where we could get married. It feels fitting, therefore, that since we chose our wedding location based on our church that the ceremony was the number one thing our guests commented on most. Not my dream-come-true wedding dress. Not the details I had agonized over (I was working as an editor at a national wedding magazine when I got married. To say I put a lot of pressure on the aesthetics of the day is an understatement). Not even the signature cocktails! Four years later, we still receive affirmation from loved ones about the joy and reverence of our wedding ceremony. Our wedding certainly wasn’t perfect, but I can gratefully say that our ceremony was one thing that felt as near perfect as it could be. Ways to Share Your Faith Through Your Wedding Ceremony Between planning my own wedding, attending many, and serving as a volunteer on my church’s wedding committee for a few years, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing some truly breathtaking, Holy Spirit-filled ceremonies. I’ve also seen a handful of weddings that left guests awkwardly stumbling through their participation in a nuptial Mass, prayers interrupted by clicking cameras, and couples nervous about how non-Catholic guests may react to certain moments. There are countless ways to lovingly share your Faith through your wedding, ranging from simple to creative. I would consider these five to be the essentials. Print a thorough program. I know a multi-page program costs extra money and time to create. Both of those things are in short supply during the last few months of wedding planning. But let’s be honest: Catholic liturgy can be overwhelming to someone who has never experienced it and has no idea what to do and when to do it. The absolute best thing you can do for those beloved people in your life is to give them all the tools they need to follow along with and understand your ceremony. At a minimum, include the order of the ceremony with the responses and actions guests should be aware of, should they choose to actively participate. This includes both the verbal responses and the physical responses—when they should sit, stand, or kneel. To make it as easy as possible to follow along with, consider including the text of the greeting, Penitential Rite, Gloria, readings, Rite of Marriage, and Liturgy of the Eucharist as well. Your officiant will be the best resource as you work through this! You may also want to consider adding brief explanations to different parts of the Mass, explaining their significance and meaning. While this isn’t as necessary as the former details, it undoubtedly helps people understand what is going on and enter more deeply into prayer alongside you. For example... Here’s an example of a portion from my wedding program: Gospel Reading (Mark 10:6-9) Before the Gospel, the priest will state its origin. All respond “Glory to you, O Lord,” while making a small cross on their foreheads, lips, and heart. This serves as a reminder to us to keep the Holy Scriptures on our minds, on our lips, and in our hearts as we work to spread the Good News of the Gospel of Christ. Jesus said: “From the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” The Gospel of the Lord. People: Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ. (Please be seated) Request an unplugged ceremony. In this day and age, it’s rare to witness an entire ceremony during which no one, from teenagers to sweet grandmas, pulls out their phone to snap a picture. The best way to keep this to a minimum is to request an “unplugged ceremony.” Cameras/phones can far too easily become a distraction to you, to other guests, and even to the person taking the photo who is focusing on their composition rather than remaining truly present to you and to God. On a lesser, but still very important note, guests popping out into the aisles or blocking the photographer's view can be a huge hurdle to getting beautiful photos you’re paying a professional to take. In most churches, the photographer is restricted to certain areas, so even one guest unexpectedly in the way can ruin their shot. An unplugged ceremony helps them to do their jobs well and get the best results they can...resulting in photos you can happily share with your guests later! For example... Here is how we made the request in our program: Please note: Lisa and David ask that out of respect for this sacred place and the sacrament they are about to receive, all guests please keep all cameras, cell phones, and other technology put away and on silent for the duration of the ceremony. In appreciation, they would be happy to share pictures from their professional photographer with you after the wedding. Thank you! Choose your readings and songs with care. While a Catholic ceremony doesn’t offer the unlimited options that getting married, say, on a mountain would, don’t believe that this means your ceremony won’t be personal to you and your husband-to-be. Take the time to pray, together and individually, about the options for your first and second readings, Gospel and Gospel Acclamation, and Responsorial Psalm. Which ones resonate most with your relationship, your vision for your marriage, or your prayers for your future together? Since these readings are one of the most significant ways you can “personalize” your ceremony, be sure to make them count. As long as your music is religious in nature and played live, there can actually be quite a bit of flexibility in the choices. Do you want your ceremony to feel joyful and exuberant? Solemn and contemplative? Sweet and lighthearted? Music helps set any of these tones and more. Get to know your officiant. Many guests at your wedding may be most familiar with ceremonies officiated by close friends, family friends, or mentors—likely all people who know the bride and groom extremely well. Hopefully, you know the priest or deacon who is officiating your wedding. But if, for whatever reason, you don’t (perhaps due to schedule changes, a wedding in a city you don’t live in, or new clergy at the parish), schedule a meeting with him at least a few weeks before the big day. Better yet, invite them to dinner! Take some time to share a little bit of your story, your testimonies, why you chose your readings, and what you’re most excited about as you look ahead to married life. You don’t get much (if any) say in the message of the homily. But if your officiant knows the two of you and what’s important to you, he can be equipped to personalize it as he sees fit. Pray for your guests. For some guests, your wedding may be the first time they have ever stepped foot into a Catholic church. What an incredible opportunity for you to welcome them with open arms! As you count down the days to your wedding, take some time to lift your guests up in prayer. Ask for healing from any fears or wounds that may have kept them from the Church in the past. Pray that their eyes, ears, and hearts may be open to the Holy Spirit. And then, sweet friend, sit back and let God work through the Sacrament you have so generously invited your guests to witness. What would you add to this list? Let us know below, and if you’re currently planning a wedding, please know of our prayers for you! [bctt tweet="Ways to Share Your Faith Through Your Wedding #BISblog //" username="lisajanelkirk"]