Pebbles at Another’s Feet // A Poem on Grieving

I’ve learned to see Grief
like she’s my sister,
learned to love, to be patient with her.
I embrace Grief and she walks with me
on blistered feet,
sometimes hand-in-hand
and sometimes at a distance
and we choose the path
of most resistance,
Grief and me.

We visit many war-torn streets
and kick up the dirt under our feet
and see every mountain turned molehill…
so many backwards things
for me and Grief to meet.

Sometimes, Grief is like…
An awkward houseguest –
the morbid cousin you wish
would bother someone else
so you could get some rest.

And sometimes Grief is a dear old friend
you feel like you haven’t met in years,
who warms your heart so much
the thaw draws out tears.

Sometimes Grief shouts things
that polite company wouldn’t whisper.
Like a child, you scold her then,
but later find to kiss her
for saying the words
grown-ups were too afraid to utter.

Sometimes Grief is like a prick of a needle
or a pinch on the arm…
And other times she’s a sucker punch to the gut
or a dagger in the heart.

Sometimes Grief is like a gentle wave
lapping at my feet.
and sometimes a tsunami,
threatening to drown me –
daring me to breathe.

Sometimes she’s a memorial stone
held and gently pondered.
Other days she’s a boulder
placed on my over-burdened shoulders.
But I’m no Atlas –
the weight of the world’s
a few pounds much for me.
So I chip off pebbles and lay them
at Another’s feet.

Shared Grief can be almost sweet.

Sometimes, Grief is persistent,
begging me to look
deeply at my heart.
To her, it’s an open book,
and an intricate work of art.

So when someone says “good Grief”
and lets out a sigh,
You tell them, “yes, it is”
as you pass by.

For to mourn the lost
is good for us;
to grieve the “should-have-beens”
and the “never-was.”
To let our hearts ache
over unfulfilled desires,
so they can be healed –
purified –
by Love’s refining fire.

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Sister Mary Vianney is a professed member of the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist in Ann Arbor, Michigan. You can find out more about the Dominican Sisters here.