All I needed was a clear sign from God.
It was really all I had been praying for. Well, actually to be more specific, I wanted the sign to come in the form of a new job that would pay well enough for me to move into my own place, have good benefits, allow me to work hard but still take time off for family and the holy and handsome man that I also prayed the Lord would provide during that time.
I was asking for a plain and simple sign that was easy for the God of the Universe to do; and yet, when I looked around, it seemed that everyone else was receiving an answered prayer except me.
My best friend, whom I love and appreciate, got a new job and I toasted her accomplishment. Then she moved into a new place and I celebrated her attainment. When she started dating someone, I was still excited for her, but my accolades ceased and my prayer for a sign turned into silent disbelief of God’s generosity in my life.
Like Saint Thomas at the Apostles’ proclamation that they had seen the Lord (John 20:25), I felt that I could not believe in Jesus’ goodness until I experienced it first-hand.
When Thomas needed a “sign” that Jesus really appeared to the Apostles, Jesus offered him a personal encounter that probably exceeded anything that Thomas expected. In Jesus’ generosity, He once again offered His Body and not only exhorted Thomas to “not be unbelieving but to believe,” and Jesus then blessed those who “ha[d] not seen and ha[d] believed” (John 20:27, 29).
I was so caught up in how Jesus was working in the lives of those around me and also in wanting to receive a specific sign from Him that I wasn’t willing to step out in faith and believe. It has taken my own unique personal encounter with Jesus through time, renewed prayer, and frequenting the confessional to redirect my heart and mind to not seek signs but to trust in Jesus. What will it take for you, sisters?
This talk on "Doubting Thomas" shows a whole new side to him and says his example fortifies our faith. Read it here.
Chika Anyanwu is a Catholic evangelist based in Southern California and is also the author of My Encounter: How I Met Jesus In Prayer. She has a deep love for Jesus, loves her beautiful Nigerian family, and is a firm believer that if coffee is good, there’s no need for cream or sugar. Find out more here.
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