Since early in the new year, I have been tuning in to Father Mike Schmitz’s Bible in a Year Podcast. Recently, we heard the Gospel of Mark. Over and over again I have been reminded of Mark's generous use of the word "immediately." It is quite literally tossed throughout his short Gospel as though throwing confetti—and in a sense, he is. Jesus is the Messiah! Jesus is Lord! The Lord has come! "Mark is a man after my own heart," I have thought to myself on more than one occasion. The Pace of Holiness If I were to have been inspired to contribute to Sacred Scripture, I suspect it would sound an awful lot like Mark’s firehose of miracles. No lag time. No cliff-hangers. Just getting to the heart of the life-changing message that people have been aching to hear, without so much as time for a breath. I like the pace of "immediately"—particularly in the spiritual sense (probably because it has not been my experience and there are plenty of times I wish that it were). I can think of stunning metaphors about growth and waiting, I probably even have a scripted plaque somewhere to remind myself that "God is never in a hurry, but always on time." And yet, I cannot help but find myself in the place of impatience. Overnight shipping, digital pictures, wifi hotspots, tween clothing, Netflix marathons, bullet trains. We are people who hate to be on the way. Yet that is exactly what we are: Pilgrims. We are Pilgrims The word “pilgrim” reminds me of those who have participated in the Camino, the way of Saint James through Spain. Whether someone has walked one mile, or all 500, they are known as “pilgrims,” travelers making their way to a holy place. So we all are. We face crises to remind us that we’re pilgrims, still on the way. The Father uses these moments to change us, to speed us along the way, to transform pilgrims into saints. // Scott Hahn I wonder if the Lord is hoping to teach me something about patience and persistence in prayer, beginning again? Long Awaited The hemorrhaging woman bled for twelve years before she received Jesus’ healing on a crowded street (Mark 5: 25-34). The whole of Jerusalem waited for days to see if Jesus would rise from the dead. Abraham and Sarah waited well into their nineties before they realized their hope for a child (Genesis 18: 9-15). The Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years (Exodus). Many Saints have stories of long waits: Edith Stein (Saint Theresa Benedicta of the Cross) waited to convert to Catholicism in an effort to ease the pain to her Jewish mother’s heart, all the while soaking in Faith like a sponge and teaching at University. Saint Ignatius of Loyola had a major conversion while awaiting recovery from a cannonball to his leg. Saint Teresa of Calcutta famously experienced decades of silence in prayer while serving the "poorest of the poor." Come to think of it, Mark may be the enviable outlier; the exception to the rule. A great storyteller in the sense that he captures the imagination of the listener with these vignettes, even when our own lived experience is less-than-expedited. Without question and in every case, the Lord was moving, working, melding circumstances and hearts to be precisely where they were needed at the right time. The Lord is still moving, working and melding circumstances and hearts—often in ways we had not imagined and would not have guessed. Our identity as pilgrims offers a helpful reminder of our role as travelers who are on the way, incomplete and reliant on our divine Companion. A Pilgrim’s Prayer Lord, you who called your servant Abraham out of the town of Ur in Chaldea and who watched over him during all his wanderings; you who guided the Jewish people through the desert; we also ask you to watch over us, your servants, who for love of your name, make this pilgrimage to Santiago de COmpostela. Be for us the companion on our journey, the guide at the crossroads, our strength in fatigue, our shelter from the heat, our light in the darkness, our consolation in discouragement and the perseverance of our intention. So that we under your guidance, safely and unhurt, may reach the end of our journey and strengthened with grace and virtue, secure and filled with happiness, may return to our home. Through Jesus Chrsit, our Lord. Amen. Apostle Saint James, pray for us. Holy Virgin Mary of the Way, pray for us. (source)   [bctt tweet="Pilgrims Persistent in Prayer #BISblog //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Remember series, where we pause to reflect on how God has proven faithful in the past so to help us place our trust in Him in the present. We look to the future, knowing that God always keeps His promise and that He always makes a way. We invite you to pray with us, to write your own Psalm (see the end of the post!), and share with others about how God has been faithful in your life. “Am I going to continue to trust God, even if He never fulfills the longings of my heart?” The news devastated me. I had low estrogen levels, coupled with chronic PCOS. “It may be a long wait,” the doctor said. Waiting! Again! We had spent the previous two years waiting for our residence permit through endless cycles of application and rejection. It had taken a toll on us emotionally, financially, and spiritually. The diseases of guilt and shame devoured me. Was God punishing me? With my long history of irregular periods, it was no surprise that we spent over two years trying to get pregnant without success. The doctor had asked us to give it another six months and if nothing happened, that treatment was inevitable. The dull ache to fill a cavernous void caused by infertility is hard to comprehend. Every month feels like a new heartbreak. It left me feeling wounded, alone, confused, and angry. Infertility is so much more than just emptiness of the womb. It greatly challenged my relationship with God. Moreover, seeing the evident blessings of others affected my self-worth, even my marriage. I searched for every Scripture on barrenness and was consoled that its pages were layered with reminders of the Lord’s plan that surpassed any vision we could ever have for our lives. The profound words uttered to Hannah, “and the Lord remembered her” (Samuel 1:19) brought comfort and confidence to radically trust God. One afternoon, while praying, I remembered something that was spoken over me early in my conversion journey. I had encountered Jesus but didn’t know what it all meant. At a retreat I was asked what I would like prayer for and I blurted out “I don’t know” and began to weep. The Presence of God was palpable and as hands were laid on me a prophetic word was given: "The Lord is placing a call on your life," followed by, "Also I see an image, two children: the oldest is a girl, then a boy." In my despair, I remembered the prophecy. I opened my notes and read again, "I see two children." I sensed God wanting me to partner with Him, calling me to own those words, calling me to speak them aloud in prayer. The more I lamented, the more I began to see myself, know my value, and understand my identity as His beloved. Several months later, I found myself in the midst of my miracle. It wasn’t in my ability to bear babies. It was finding freedom in surrender; it was finding merit in suffering. I vividly remember the day we visited the doctor to discuss potential treatment. A week prior to that I was asked to take some medication to regulate my cycle and was supposed to bleed after the 5th day... but I didn’t. Another complication? As I waited at the clinic, something felt different; something was sacred. Life felt new and potent with promise. I was acutely aware that what happened over the next few minutes could change my life forever. Yet, the words "and the Lord remembered her" entered my spirit, even as the words, "I see two children" reinvigorated me in new ways. In the examination room, as the doctor moved the ultrasound wand around my belly, we heard it… a tiny heartbeat! Almost certain that she made a mistake, she tried again and again, uttering under her breath that I couldn’t have gotten pregnant under the medication I had taken. In a moment, everything changed; in a moment everything was new. We were standing on the threshold of an uttered prophecy. I was going to be a mother. God’s promises were indeed yes and amen (2 Corinthians 1:20). Nine months later, we held her, our vivacious little girl. We named her Kristen which means "belongs to Christ" because she belonged to Him – the God of miracles, the God who keeps His promises. Four years later Nathan arrived, a testimonial of God’s faithfulness. I know how hard it is when the famine of infertility strikes at the soul. I know how the heavy crosses of unmet expectations, unfulfilled longings, and the inexplicable “not yets” can weigh us down. Yet this is our hope: we do not shoulder these crosses alone. We partner with Christ. In the Son of God Who became the very embodiment of suffering, we can be assured that even our brokenness can turn into blessing and our suffering into reservoirs of His grace and mercy. God collects every tear (see Psalm 56:8) with a promise that all will be made new one day (see Revelation 21). But for here and now, you can lament, you can mourn for the child you don’t have. The Lord allows these emotions and He desires to transform them into virtues. He isn’t callous or indifferent to your cries and He’s not ignoring your wait. He loves you too much to answer your prayers at any other time than the right time. Sister, you are not any less of a mother than I am. You are called to be a Christ-bearer right where you are and you can love those God has placed on the peripheries of your life, freely and without hesitation. And as the Lord’s plan beautifully unfolds before you, you can trust He will remember you; yes, He will keep His promises. If you would like, we invite you to write your own psalm to help you remember the marvelous works of the Lord. We walk you through it here. Keep this psalm handy. Pray it when life makes it difficult to see Who reigns sovereignly.   [bctt tweet="REMEMBER Series // Healing After Infertility #BISblog //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Remember series, where we pause to reflect on how God has proven faithful in the past so to help us place our trust in Him in the present. We look to the future, knowing that God always keeps His promise and that He always makes a way. We invite you to pray with us, to write your own Psalm (see the end of the post!), and share with others about how God has been faithful in your life. I felt like a drooping daisy waiting for the sunshine to bring its petals back to life again. It might have been a sunny morning as I walked out the doors after Mass, but my mood was sullen. The night before, I was catching up with a friend over drinks when someone slid into our booth. The young man spent the rest of our time there trying to get my friend’s number. What had started as a light-hearted night out turned into an evening where I felt like the third wheel. Normally, I might have been able to let something like this slide right off my back. Yet I was already in a vulnerable place of feeling single and lonely. So rather than be excited that my friend had caught someone’s eye, or even enjoy the humor of it all, I turned inward. Like a daisy at night, I looked down to the world to tell me who I was. If I had kept Jesus’ gaze, my heart would have held steady and firm like the woman of worth in the book of Proverbs (see Proverbs 31). A woman who was clothed with dignity and strength, laughing at the days to come because she had hope and confidence that her future would be full of joy. In moments of hurt or despair, I have a variety of reactions. The first is usually to tell God that I don’t know why He is letting me go through what I am going through. The second is to plead with Him that my suffering is just a page—or maybe a short chapter—in my story. Then I wait, and I look for Holy Spirit moments. My dad always prayed for “Divine Appointments”, which has become a habit of prayer which I have taken on, and an exciting one at that! My Divine Appointment came on that droopy-daisy morning. On most mornings after Mass, I would walk out around the same time as a very polished and well-dressed elderly man. As he opened up his car door to drive home, I passed him on the sidewalk on my walk to work. He typically sat a few pews in front of me, and I always admired his deeply peaceful demeanor. I decided that morning would be the day that I would finally introduce myself. From that moment on, my morning commute would never be the same. I know that the Holy Spirit placed him in my life. On the day we first met, he spoke the words of affirmation that my soul so longed to hear. He continued to be an invaluable source of encouragement to me as we chatted each morning, and there is no doubt that he challenged me to grow more deeply in my friendship and commitment to the Lord. When he learned of my job, he gave me a book of the Saints trying to find the patron in my field, and telling me about Saint Susanna. On the days it rained, he lent me his umbrella. He made a point to make sure I could see the hierarchy of angels in the Cathedral cupola by offering me his binoculars. What may have been most meaningful, though, is when he invited me to join him in a nine-month first Friday Mass novena, because in His words, “I want to do it before it’s too late.” He made sure I never missed. Today, I look back on our novena and I am ever so grateful that we were able to share those graces together. It has been over a year since he passed away, but his legacy lives on. I met his family at his funeral, and one of his children invited me to talk over a cup of coffee. It was there that she shared with me more about this dear man’s life, and gifted me with the crucifix that hung in his coffin during the visitation, along with some of his old Rosaries and favorite books. Today, that crucifix hangs in our home and his books are safely kept along with his handwritten notes inside of them. This man was like a grandfather to me, and through God’s grace He allowed me to know him even more deeply after his death. After my friend passed away, I feared there would never again be anyone like him in my life. It is true, there will never be anyone just like him, but I pray that the Lord will allow me to be a blessing for someone, just like he was a blessing to me. In the meantime, I continue to pray for Divine appointments while keeping my eyes wide open for how His grace will be revealed. How has the Holy Spirit intervened in your life? If you would like, we invite you to write your own psalm to help you remember the marvelous works of the Lord. We walk you through it here. Keep this psalm handy. Pray it when life makes it difficult to see Who reigns sovereignly.   [bctt tweet="REMEMBER Series // Finding an Unlikely Friend #BISblog //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Remember series, where we pause to reflect on how God has proven faithful in the past so to help us place our trust in Him in the present. We look to the future, knowing that God always keeps His promise and that He always makes a way. We invite you to pray with us, to write your own Psalm (see the end of the post!), and share with others about how God has been faithful in your life. Eighteen years ago, shortly after my first child was born, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. At the time, I did not question it. I had bigger things to worry about, like being a new mom. I just took my prescription and lived my life. Over the years, however, my blood work never leveled out. My doctor was constantly adjusting my prescription. But I do not remember a moment when she called to tell me, “Everything looks great.” In fact, my health slowly continued to deteriorate. Eight years later, by the time my sixth child was born, I was experiencing chronic adrenal fatigue, anemia, brain fog, inflammation, and depression. In 2015, I was finally diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, an autoimmune disease that attacks the thyroid. My heart cried out: “How can I be a good mom to these six children when I am battling this? Why are You allowing this? It seems so unfair to my kids, Lord.” In prayer, the Lord responded: “Do not lose heart, Sarah. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure …” (2 Corinthians 4:16-17). Intellectually, I knew it was true. My health issues were a “slight momentary affliction” in the grand scheme of eternity. This gave me some consolation. But it did not last very long, for daily life as a wife, mother, and homemaker continued to be hard. Most days, I felt an oppressive spirit pressing down on me. I lacked the energy I needed to be proactive with my kids. Piles grew around my house. Laundry backed up. Dinner was not always cooked. I felt stuck and paralyzed; imprisoned in my own life. My chronic illness was a very silent, personal suffering. The worst of it lasted for about eight or nine years. Very few people knew just how horrible I felt. At one of my lowest points, I found myself praying with Psalm 40: “I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the desolate pit, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure” (v. 1-2). The hard part was that I could not see past the desolate pit. I could not even imagine the Lord inclining to me and hearing my cry. There was no rescue. I was resigned to being stuck in the miry bog forever. I turned to psalms of lamentation, of grieving, of frustration. “How long, O Lord?” They taught me the importance of being completely honest with God. The Psalms showed me a steady pattern of prayer that went from lamenting to surrender to praise. I began to take solace in the raw beauty of these prayers. I clung to them when my own words failed me. I slowly began to recognize that even in the pit, I wasn’t alone. Jesus had climbed down into the swamp and was waiting with me. He was waiting with me, as I waited for Him. In the midst of waiting, the Lord revealed that our current home was in some way afflicting me. Whether an oppressive spirit had attached itself to the house or whether the amount of upkeep was simply too daunting for me, I am not sure. But God clearly put it on my heart (and that of my husband’s) to surrender the home we built for a simpler one that I could more easily manage. This required a great amount of humility and abandonment to Divine Providence. To the outside world, downsizing when your family is still growing makes little sense. It could even be seen as a failure. But we knew this was God’s will, and we trusted Him. Almost immediately and effortlessly, the door swung open to selling our home and buying a new one. However, there were still obstacles to endure. During the two months leading up to our move, my faith was truly put to the test. I found out I was pregnant, and then I miscarried our seventh child. In the midst of the grieving, I suffered the physical demands of packing up our family of eight. The added stress of all the unforeseen circumstances that accompany moving was excruciatingly burdensome. I was inflicted with insomnia. My whole body was in constant pain due to the stress. The very day before we moved, I got so sick, I could not function. I knew it was Satan’s last ditch effort to latch on with his deadly claws. It confirmed that he did not want us to move; he knew this move meant freedom for me. But in prayer, I saw the Lord grab ahold of my hand, leading me through the valley of death (Psalm 23). Everything around me was on fire, hot and burning. I had to stay on the narrow path if I did not want to get burned. I had to trust Him to lead me out. Which He did. Within days of moving, the oppression, the pain, and the insomnia all lifted. I no longer felt imprisoned in my own body. I was free. The Lord showed me that He closed that chapter of my life. “It is over,” He said to me. The page had been turned. The healing had begun. I found strength and energy I had not felt in years. I was more peaceful. My hope was restored and my purpose renewed. Often, I have wondered why I had to go through so much pain and suffering to be healed. In many ways, it remains a mystery. A year after I felt stuck in the pit of Psalm 40, a new psalm came into my heart in prayer: Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and do not forget all his benefits— who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the Pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good as long as you live so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. // Psalm 103:1-5 Yes! My life from the pit had been redeemed; I was renewed. When the Lord takes us by the hand and leads the way, we can see, feel, and experience the difficult terrain. But He guides us—sometimes pulls us—through. The valley of death and the refiner’s fire are hard, grueling, hot, and intense. But He doesn’t let go. And He, indeed, eventually sets us on a rock of safety. And we remember … Apart from You, Lord, I can do nothing. But You can do it all! Bless the Lord, oh my soul! If you would like, we invite you to write your own psalm to help you remember the marvelous works of the Lord. We walk you through it here. Keep this psalm handy. Pray it when life makes it difficult to see Who reigns sovereignly.   [bctt tweet="REMEMBER Series // Miracles When Moving #BISblog //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Remember series, where we pause to reflect on how God has proven faithful in the past so to help us place our trust in Him in the present. We look to the future, knowing that God always keeps His promise and that He always makes a way. We invite you to pray with us, to write your own Psalm (see the end of the post!), and share with others about how God has been faithful in your life. My husband sat on the hospital chair with his disheveled hair, composed but worried, his mind preoccupied from the bad news he received the day before. I was happily in a newborn fog, holding our daughter in awe of the gift of her life. This was the first time I couldn’t meet my husband in disappointment or in the worry of what would come next for our little family. The nurse came in to perform our daughter’s hearing test. She advised us not to worry if our daughter didn’t pass the first time and mentioned that the test would be billed to our insurance. My poor husband received another sucker punch in less than 24 hours of being reminded that he wasn’t providing financially anymore after unexpectedly losing his job the day before our daughter was born. Hours before, he had just helped me birth our third child with no medical intervention and marveled at the gift of her new life. After the nurse walked out, he called the insurance company to confirm our daughter would be covered. I felt cheated that our daughter’s birth was clouded by my husband’s concern to provide. The weight of being the provider has never fallen on my shoulders; however, I felt that this new baby would outshine any other difficulty that we were facing. “The Lord will provide,” I said from the hospital bed (which I truly believed). But I have always had a tendency of oversimplifying things in an effort to put a positive spin on it. My husband was in a different mindset and there was nothing I could say to give him the confidence that everything would be okay. In the coming months, the effects of his job loss would manifest itself in toxic stress. That stress would spill into parts of our marriage, child rearing, and overall livelihood. After four months of being unemployed, my husband secured a job. Those months while he was home were a blessing as he handled the kids' school drop offs and pickups, made the lunches, and gave me the space to care for my postpartum body and our newborn. That time really helped us work as a team and rely on one another completely. That teamwork wavered once the stress of the new job took over and memories of being eliminated took a grip on him. We both became short-tempered with each other, frustrated, exhausted from having a baby that wasn’t too keen on sleeping, all of which manifested itself in different ways. We tried being grateful even though we knew the intensity of the stress was not sustainable. Had we relegated ourselves to the idol of job security over our peace of mind and our hearts? Had we become the Israelites pursuing false gods under the pretenses of financial stability being more important than emotional well being? Seeing my husband absorbed by a new job that broke his spirit wasn’t what either of us had envisioned for our family. We needed the Provider Himself to intervene and break these chains that bound us to a job that was providing financially but was sucking the positivity out of everything else in our lives. Pope Francis announced the year of Saint Joseph in December 2020. It sounded great but was not something I could chase in blogs or books yet. Lent 2021 arrived and we both knew we needed a prayer overhaul. We fasted together, offered up the same things, went to Confession together regularly, added weekly Mass into our routine, and went to Saint Joseph for the first time in our marriage. The job situation wasn’t improving but there was no way my husband was going to quit (especially during a pandemic). We began our 33-day Consecration to Saint Joseph right before Lent. I had done many consecrations on my own and with my small group but this was the first time my revert husband completed one alongside me. We took everything with us: the job loss, the new job that turned out to be tumultuous, and our family's illnesses. We gave everything that had grieved us, afflicted us, and distanced us from one another to Saint Joseph in hopes that our relationship with God the Father, as well as our own, would be restored. Saint Joseph taught us new ways about God’s perfect orchestration in our lives. We both found a father in Saint Joseph who we knew by name, but with whom we had not yet sought a relationship. Saint Joseph was the hand that brought us to the Provider. We both felt comforted in his paternal care. During our waiting and holding tightly to our consecration to Saint Joseph, my husband secured a more suitable new job. Our household started to reflect the interior transformation we were experiencing. The faucet that had been leaking from the upstairs bathtub was finally fixed, the sliding glass door that wouldn’t open unless you used your whole body against it was like new, and the garage that had been neglected for over a year was organized with everything in its right place. The man of the house was present to the needs of the home as well as the people inside of it. Together, we began to welcome the outpouring of the Father’s provision. Together, we remembered that there is not anything that could keep us from Him. We have continued some of our Lenten practices to remind us to thank the Father for bringing us out of our own Egypt into His loving and caring hands. There are points in our lives where we are willing to forgo peace of mind because we think the situation we are in is the best for us, even if it's causing us physical, emotional, or spiritual harm. We can’t see our way out of something that is so toxic because we don’t have the clarity we need. God the Father does and He does provide. It may not feel like He is in those moments when you are sinking in quicksand but His is the hand that saves. Where in your own life are you sinking? Where do you need God’s saving hand? If you would like, we invite you to write your own psalm to help you remember the marvelous works of the Lord. We walk you through it here. Keep this psalm handy. Pray it when life makes it difficult to see Who reigns sovereignly.   [bctt tweet="REMEMBER Series // Physical + Emotional Healing #BISblog //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Remember series, where we pause to reflect on how God has proven faithful in the past so to help us place our trust in Him in the present. We look to the future, knowing that God always keeps His promise and that He always makes a way. We invite you to pray with us, to write your own Psalm (see the end of the post!), and share with others about how God has been faithful in your life. After I finished preparing for a career in social work during college, I was invited to consider serving for a year as a volunteer in a social service agency as a part of a year-long volunteer program. Obviously, a decision like this had big financial implications. While my "yes" didn’t make sense to my parents, or on paper, it was the thing at that time that I couldn’t not do. Although in my bones and in my prayer I felt like this was the right decision for me, the financial impact was real as a newly-minted college grad with student debt. While I was able to put my loans into deferment, money was sure to be tight as a participant in this program. Looking for affirmation that I was making the right call, I prayed for some kind of sign that I was on the right track. I echoed the plea from my favorite Thomas Merton prayer: My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going…but I believe the desire to please you does in fact please you. I had heard—as I am sure you have—about dramatic responses to prayer. Sure signs, impossible to ignore. Roses a la Saint Therese. Receiving the perfectly-timed letter in the mail. The providential chapter of a book or conversation in spiritual direction. That did (and still does) appeal to me, but none of those responses are what I received at that time. What I did receive was my tax return for the year as a student employee: one hundred and fourteen dollars in a legal envelope. Not particularly exciting, except that it was exactly the same amount as the flight I had been looking at to get to my service program! My answered prayer didn’t arrive with fireworks and fanfare. What it offered was quiet confidence in my decision to spend a year in service, and God’s provision to do so. It was direct, simple, and tangible. There was no need for further wrestling. This is how I asked God to respond to me: with clarity. In the grand scheme of things, this small answered prayer was not meant to convey God’s greatness to the masses, but it was a moment I was assured of having been seen and heard in even my small needs. Likely there are countless examples just like this, strewn across my days. Maybe you have also asked the Lord for something in prayer and hoped for a "powerful wind" in response? Especially because we know and believe God to be all loving and all powerful, big replies are welcomed. From time to time, we are reminded that God’s loving, no-less-clarifying response is in the "gentle whisper" instead. The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. // I Kings 19:12 If you would like, we invite you to write your own psalm to help you remember the marvelous works of the Lord. We walk you through it here. Keep this psalm handy. Pray it when life makes it difficult to see Who reigns sovereignly.   [bctt tweet="REMEMBER Series // A Miraculous Mission #BISblog //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Remember series, where we pause to reflect on how God has proven faithful in the past so to help us place our trust in Him in the present. We look to the future, knowing that God always keeps His promise and that He always makes a way. We invite you to pray with us, to write your own Psalm (see the end of the post!), and share with others about how God has been faithful in your life. My entire outlook on life altered during my senior year of high school. I began my first “real” relationship with an older college guy on whom I had been hard-core crushing since middle school. He was a “good Catholic boy,” a family friend, someone with an incredible level of intelligence, and a guy who truly cared about his Faith. What I did not know was that he was carrying deep wounds that he naturally brought into our relationship. These were then projected onto me through verbal and emotional manipulation. Because of my inexperience, I could not identify what was wrong—though it was incredibly clear something was unsound. I thought I was at fault; that it was my own lacking that was causing issues. I sunk deep into my own psyche, developing raging anxiety and crippling depression. My friends noticed, but sadly abandoned me. My family also noticed this drastic metamorphosis, but even after countless conversations and emotional support, they were unsure of how to help me. I became unrecognizable. I transformed from a confidant, self-assured person to an antsy mess who could not even decide which homework assignment to begin working on without experiencing crippling anxiety attacks. Worst of all, my view of God and the way He loves became twisted into the way my abusive boyfriend addressed me. Finally, I acknowledged that the relationship had to end when I realized that I no longer desired to live. I was not suicidal in the sense that I wanted to hurt myself, and I cannot even say that I wanted to die. I just thought it would be easier for everyone if I was gone. It was then that I finally had enough strength to cut the toxicity out of my life. A New Start Within the same month, I arrived at college. Broken, I now had to deal with everything without my usual familial support. Since it was a Catholic university, the chapel within my dormitory became my escape as I had no place else to cry. What was unintentional on my part was that I learned to pray from my heart and to hear God speak to me just by frequently placing myself in front of His presence. Slowly and surely, over the next eighteen months, God showed me that His love is the exact opposite of what I had experienced. Jesus made it obvious His desire for a relationship with me came with freedom, acceptance, and love—not pressure or accusations. This realization was completely authentic, but I was not completely healed from the abuse. Hearts and minds can take a lifetime to heal. My experience was no different. Making decisions—even minor ones—kept me incapacitated. I had a hard time trusting others and making friends because I had a hard time trusting myself. After all, I had made the horrible decision to enter into that debilitating relationship in the first place. What if I made the wrong call again? A Pull and Providence During the Fall of my sophomore year, a canceled weekend trip resulted in my resting alone in my dorm. Suddenly, I felt prompted to go to Confession. Though I thought it weird since I had recently gone, the interior pull grew heavy, so I yielded and walked to church. As I waited for confessions to begin, I asked God to show me what he wanted me to say, because I had only a couple of venial sins in mind. When it was my turn, I experienced a normal Confession. I stood up to leave thinking we were done, but the priest started asking me questions. Many of his inquiries were very specific and had nothing to do with items confessed, almost as if he was reading my soul. In any other circumstance, this kind of conversation might have been unsettling. However, for some reason, it had the opposite effect. All the insight and wisdom shared were clear, concise responses to open wounds I had been dealing with because of that relationship. It was the specifics of what the priest said that were so striking, his main point being that I needed to learn to trust myself and my ability to make decisions again (something I had not mentioned during the sacrament). A New Call Dumbfounded, I left with my heart aflame. Everything I had experienced about God’s healing love over the past two years had rebuilt and restored me. Exploding within me was a strong desire for everyone to know God’s love. So I decided, right then and there, to change my major from Nursing to Theology/Catechetics and become a high school Theology teacher. I was transformed from an indecisive, anxious individual, to someone who had made a major life decision over the course of thirty minutes. Twelve years later, I still marvel at this sacramental experience. It was pivotal in my own healing, and just the beginning of God paving the way for my ministerial teaching career. Every step of the way, God opened doors that should have been locked shut. To this day, He continues to sustain me within a profession with an abnormally high burn-out and turnover rate. Sometimes I feel like I am thriving, sometimes I feel like I am just surviving, and sometimes I fall somewhere in between those extremes. However, remembering God’s faithfulness never fails to inspire a reciprocal sense of faithfulness in me. It makes it easier for me to trust Him, relying on the certainty of His fidelity which has never wavered (though it is sometimes quieter than I prefer). Ironically, it is this authentic work to be faithful and trust in God that makes me effective in evangelizing hearts within my classroom. From Glory to Glory Within the Gospels, Jesus gifts his Apostles the experience of witnessing the Transfiguration right before the suffering of the Passion. This surety of God’s glory is meant to sustain and strengthen them through the difficulties of that coming week and also the remainder of their lives (which Jesus knows will be full of difficulty). For me, my experience within the confessional over a decade ago remains one of my greatest “Transfiguration” experiences within my life. What experiences have you had which have assured you of God’s glory? Have you ever had a powerful sacramental encounter which served as a spiritual buoy through difficult circumstances? If you would like, we invite you to write your own psalm to help you remember the marvelous works of the Lord. We walk you through it here. Keep this psalm handy. Pray it when life makes it difficult to see Who reigns sovereignly.   [bctt tweet="REMEMBER Series // Calling Through Confession #BISblog //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Remember series, where we pause to reflect on how God has proven faithful in the past so to help us place our trust in Him in the present. We look to the future, knowing that God always keeps His promise and that He always makes a way. We invite you to pray with us, to write your own Psalm (see the end of the post!), and share with others about how God has been faithful in your life. When I moved to Buffalo, New York for nursing school, I was lonely. The first thing I did when I unpacked and settled into my new dorm room was Google “young adult groups in the area.” Nothing came up. After Mass one morning, I asked a priest if there were any groups or gatherings for people my age. He said he did not know of any. The school I went to was Catholic in name but felt very secular. That loneliness continued to grow and I felt my faith life suffer from a lack of community. I desired real community and authentic friendships with my entire heart. Loneliness can make us turn inward. I had to resist that temptation and I knew I needed to turn outward to God in prayer. I needed to pray for friends and I needed to pray to be a good friend. I began to ask the intercession from my “twenty-four year old Saint friends”—five men and women in Heaven who all died at the age of twenty-four: Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati Saint Elizabeth of Hungary Saint Thérèse of Lisieux Saint Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows Saint Kateri Tekakwitha During those first few months in a new city, they were my only friends. I had been asking them for help for the past few years, yet my prayers heightened as I grew in loneliness each day. I began asking them for a gift for my twenty-fourth year. I told them that they received the best gift at the age of twenty-four: to enter into Christ’s Kingdom. I asked that they might send me a gift just like they obtained during their twenty-fourth year. I prayed this prayer daily throughout each day. God was teaching me something so powerful during that time: to depend on Him. In times of both bounty and famine, He must be first in my life. As I asked the intercession of His Saints, I realized that they did just that. They placed Christ first, no matter what situation they were in, no matter how they felt, lonely or otherwise. One evening I looked at an image on my wall of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati. “Lord, what should I do?” I prayed. The answer was immediate. I knew I had to start a young adult group in honor of the Blessed. The group had its first meeting when I was twenty-four. I met the most beautiful people in that group, some of whom are still my dearest friends. And I received my gift, that gift I had longed asked for. “Ask and you shall receive that your joy may be full,” Jesus tells His disciples. My joy was full! I met Mike, my husband, my gift, in the group. I know it is through the intercession of these five Saints that I met the man I was going to marry, that I was led to my vocation. Exactly as Christian communion among our fellow pilgrims here on earth brings us closer to Christ, so too our communion with the Saints in Heaven joins us to Christ. God is not in competition with us or our relationship with the Saints; rather, He delights in it and even channels His grace to us through their intercession. In retrospect, my life during that time was made so much richer through cultivating friendships with the Saints. They are here for us, championing us on—that beautiful host of Heaven—awaiting the day we can join them in perpetual praise of our Father. During my engagement to Mike, I collected images of these five Saints. I framed them and placed them on a small table beside the altar during our wedding Mass. The priest blessed them after we said our vows and they now hang in our home. These images are a powerful reminder of our wedding day, the vows Mike and I promised to one another, and the fidelity of the Saints towards us! I thank God and His Saints every day for their gift to me. If you are feeling lonely, isolated, and in need of a faith community, don’t be afraid to start making the changes yourself and create a young adult or women’s group. People will come! I promise! Every single person here on earth desires community and deeply desires the true, good, and beautiful. Don’t be afraid to cast your nets into the deep for a beautiful catch! And pray for your gift. Ask these Saints—so active in Heaven—for your gift. Whether you are eighteen, twenty-four, forty-four, or one hundred and four, ask these Saints for a gift. They are ready to send us Christ’s love, guidance, and grace. Through them, Christ will make a way. If you would like, we invite you to write your own psalm to help you remember the marvelous works of the Lord. We walk you through it here. Keep this psalm handy. Pray it when life makes it difficult to see Who reigns sovereignly.   [bctt tweet="REMEMBER Series // Finding Friendships #BISblog //" via="no"]

I am quick to forget. I can remember birthdays and appointments and my friends' favorite flowers and yet, for some reason, I struggle to remember how faithful God has been to me throughout my life. Because He is. God is faithful. He is the keeper of promises. When the world and people and life let us down ... He never does. When we don’t feel like we can trust anyone—we can trust Him. In the midst of suffering, confusion, or monotony, we all can forget the works of the Lord. We can forget all the times He has made promises and kept them, as He always does. The Role of Remembrance in the Psalms One of the most important things we can do throughout our lives is to remember. Particularly in our spiritual journey, remembrance is key. Saint Ignatius, in his spiritual exercises, talks about the necessity of remembering during times of desolation. He suggests that we store up consolations and tuck them away in our minds and hearts, so that when moments of desolation arise, we can remember the times of consolation and that will help us persevere. Even before Saint Ignatius, the people of Israel understood the importance of remembering what God had done for them. The Psalms overflow with calls to remember the faithfulness of the Lord, especially in times of distress. The Pattern of the Psalms If we pay close attention to the rhythm of the psalms (see Psalms 105 and 106 for examples!), we can see a common pattern emerge amongst them. The psalmist cries out to God in his suffering, unrealized dreams, or dwindling hope. He relates the longings of his heart. But—and this is key—he doesn’t stay there. He lifts his soul to the Lord by recounting the many times God has proven to be faithful. Remember when the Lord brought us out of Egypt... Remember when He parted the Red Sea... In our prayer, we can often stay stuck in the stage of relating. We share our hearts with the Lord and cry out to Him. We tell Him what's going on, why we're upset, and how we feel hopeless. This is good! God wants to hear it all. But He does not want us to stay there. After the psalmist relates his heart to God, he remembers and lists off all the wonderful things God has done for him in the past. This encourages his spirit and helps him reframe his perspective. This act of remembrance takes the focus off of himself and his problems and places it upon God and His goodness. Let's Remember Together Over the next week, we will dive into this theme of remembering together. Each day, we will encounter stories from the Blessed is She Blog Team about times when God fulfilled His promises in their lives—in big and small ways. They will tell us about the times that there seemed to be no answer, no solution, no way ... and then God parted the sea. Together, we will sit with the Lord in prayer. I encourage you to spend this time remembering all the ways He has proven faithful in your life. If you would like, we invite you to write your own psalm to help you remember the marvelous works of the Lord. We walk you through it here. Keep this psalm handy. Pray it when life makes it difficult to see Who reigns sovereignly. Finally, we encourage you to share you own stories of God’s fidelity in your life. These stories are meant to prompt and inspire us to hope. When you share your story, you do the same for others. Let's begin together today. Let's remember. God is faithful, forever.   [bctt tweet="REMEMBER Series // Introduction #BISblog //" via="no"]

I converted when I was 28. At this point in time, my husband and I had been married for three years and had two children under the age of three. So this decision was super convenient for everybody. I was baptized into the Catholic Church as an infant. When I was three years old we moved back to where my mom grew up and started going to the Lutheran Church that she had gone to as a child. I had a great life growing up. We were in church every Sunday (we sat mid-back like a good Lutheran family would), my mom taught Sunday School, I received my Lutheran sacraments and I was perfectly content. Sort of. Something Was Missing I felt at home in my Lutheran church because that is where my family was. It’s where my parents were married. Where I was married. Where my Grandpa’s funeral was. It was my church. But there was still something missing that I could not quite put my finger on. In 2014 I met my future husband. We went to church together every Sunday—sometimes mine, sometimes his—but always a Lutheran church. One year we decided to go on a “church tour” and would visit a new church each Sunday to see which one felt right. After much convincing on my part, one Sunday we went to the Catholic church that I had been baptized at and ... ding ding! That was it for me. The traditions and rituals and formality of everything just made me want to learn more. I felt like I had finally found what I had been missing all along. The Holy Spirit pulled me back here and I knew I wanted to be a part of it. That was in 2015. Seeing the Light Over the next couple of years, I started learning more about the Catholic Faith and what it all meant. I began soaking up all I could: books, blogs, podcasts ... you name it. In 2019 my sister-in-law (who had converted to Catholicism several years prior) invited me to go along to the Blessed is She “Shine” retreat. It changed my life. I had never experienced something so pure, honest, and beautiful. I wanted to become Catholic and I wanted to do it immediately. That August I went to the local parish to speak with the priest. We talked a little about where I was and what I wanted from all of this. I talked to my husband about it and, to be honest, he was not thrilled. In his mind, we were doing just fine. We had a baby and went to the Lutheran church just a few miles from our house every Sunday. Why would I want to change that? It wasn’t a smooth process. At all. We fought about it a few times and things ended with me crying in frustration. Why couldn’t he just do this with me? Why is this such a big deal? All In That following January, I went back to the priest and decided to start the RCIA class. I expressed to him what was going on between my husband and me and he gave me some of the best advice. He said that my husband’s conversion was not my decision. It was not something that I could make my husband do. The Holy Spirit would work in him just as it had me and the best thing to do until then was to pray. Pray hard and pray often. And so I did. A lot. I prayed for him to open his heart to the Catholic Church. For him to want to learn all the things I had come to know and love. For him to want to raise our children in the Church. I continued to do my studies and read my books. I would leave the papers and books out on the kitchen table so he would come across them, but I was not begging him to read them. This seemed to alleviate some of the tension around the subject matter. He didn't necessarily embrace my decision, but he did accept it. Loving My Lutheran Husband I was confirmed on November 8, 2020 and it was one of the best feelings ever. I remember feeling so full of joy that day and all warm and tingly inside! My husband is still not Catholic, but that’s fine. Our children will be raised Catholic and we go to each other’s church every other Sunday. On weekends that we go to his church, I either go to the Saturday vigil or to Mass after we go to his Church. It is really important to both of us that our children grow up going to church every Sunday like we did. So regardless of “who’s Sunday” it is, we are all there, and that’s all that matters. We are loud (and usually late), but we are there. Do I wish we all went to the Catholic church every Sunday and had our “designated spot” like the rest of the families I see? You bet. But I’ve accepted that we may never be that family. I still pray every day for my husband’s conversion. I pray that it will happen soon. I know that it may never happen. I know he loves God and he believes in the resurrection just as much as I do. If the day ever does come that he decides he wants to take the steps to convert, I will throw the biggest party ever and you all will be invited. Did anyone convert to Catholicism after marriage? What was your experience like?   [bctt tweet="Living Faith with My Lutheran Husband #BISblog //" via="no"]   Kyla Goebel is a Catholic convert, wife, and mother of two small (and rambunctious) kiddos. She loves hot coffee, warm days and afternoon runs. She spends countless hours in her garden and has dreams of one day having her own little farm and becoming a pioneer wife. You can follow Kyla and her family’s adventures here.

Saint Gianna is one of my favorite Saints. The pediatrician, wife, and mother knew well what modern life entails, balancing work and prayer in the mid-20th century—and she did it all by dressing stylishly and enjoying her favorite activities. If she were alive today, I could see us chatting over a cup of coffee about cute clothes, decorating ideas, discernment and the simple joys of life—just like I would with other friends. My favorite quote of hers (and my favorite saint quote of all) is: Live holy the present moment. What Does it Mean to Live Holy the Present Moment? Saint Gianna encourages us to see that, in each and every moment, holiness is our goal, reminding me, and you, to seek God in all things, striving to make holy each moment. That’s our Christian call: “as he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in every aspect of your conduct” (1 Peter 1:15). Yes, sometimes it’s easier at certain moments than others to truly live the moment in a holy way. We all know that well. But it is a blessed aim for us each and every day, each moment. In between the joys and the sorrows, between what is going well and what is not, we must strive for holiness. Let’s delve deeper into Gianna’s wise advice. Live What is God calling you to do right now? Maybe you are busy with work, with deadlines, emails, and meetings. If so, I’m there with you; I’m over here, editing and writing. Maybe you’re a mom, focused on what your littles need and creating a flourishing domestic church with your husband. Maybe you’re a college student, busy with classes and discernment. Whatever your call, live fully, striving to do God’s will. Holy As we do God’s will, we are to do it all in a holy way. Think of how many moments Gianna lived in a holy way. The Saints are Saints because they exhibited heroic virtue (along with interceding in miracles through the power of God). Heroic virtue is defined as, “The performance of extraordinary virtuous actions with readiness and over a period of time. The moral virtues are exercised with ease, while faith, hope, and charity are practiced to an eminent degree.” Gianna increased these theological virtues in her own life, as she went about serving her family and patients, praying and cooking and spending time with friends, and all the other things God placed before her each day. How can we increase faith, hope, and charity in our own lives? Through being more patient at work or with little ones? Offering up sufferings? Doing service for family or friends or others in need? The Present Moment Focus on the here and now. Not looking backward. Or forward. Be in the now. That’s what Gianna did. And she reminds us to do likewise. God is with us each day, as Gianna reminds us in another beautiful quote of hers: The secret of happiness is to live moment by moment and to thank God for all that he, in his goodness, sends us day after day. As her daughter, also named Gianna (Dr. Gianna Emanuela Molla, who has followed in her mother’s medical footsteps as a geriatric physician), told me a few years ago: “I think the world today particularly needs my mother’s life witness, and perhaps today more than ever. Her exemplary Christian life’s witness—her sacred respect for life, her great joy to live, her courage and spirit of sacrifice, her unlimited trust in divine Providence, her great love for life, for the Lord, for the Virgin Mary, for her family, for her neighbors and her patients, for my most beloved daddy, her most worthy spouse, for her children—[was constant] until her greatest gift of love: the sacrifice of her own life, giving birth to me. All these aspects are really like a bright light, a safe guide and a great hope for each of us on our journey towards holiness.” She also shared how her mom was bolstered in joy and hope: “Some people write to [tell] me that since they learned about the person and the witness of my mom, their life has changed. They are more serene, they live in a better way, with more joy and hope, and they would like to follow her example and became a saint.” And, as I include in my book, The Plans God Has for You: Hopeful Lessons for Young Women, Gianna encourages us on our Christian journey: “We, full of the joy that comes from Jesus, carry joy in our hearts with Jesus. He will be the strength that helps us.” Mother Mary as Our Model Gianna also points us to Mother Mary, who is the epitome of what it means to live holy the present moment, in this prayer of consecration that reflects how holiness is rooted in trust: O Mary, into your maternal hands I place myself, and I abandon myself completely, sure of obtaining whatever I ask of you. I trust in you because you are the sweet Mother; I confide in you because you are the Mother of Jesus. In this trust, I place myself, sure of being heard in everything; with this trust in my heart I greet you “my Mother, my trust”; I devote myself entirely to you, begging you to remember that I am yours, that I belong to you; keep me and defend me, O sweet Mary, and in every instant of my life, present me to your Son, Jesus. It is such a blessing to have our friend Saint Gianna show us the way as we, too, live holy the present moment. How are you living holy the present moment today?   [bctt tweet="“Live Holy the Present Moment” // Why I Love St. Gianna’s Advice #BISblog //" via="no"]   Amy Smith is the associate editor of the National Catholic Register, a service of EWTN, and you can read more about St. Gianna in The Plans God Has for You: Hopeful Lessons for Young Women. Amy spends her days drinking coffee while editing features; she likes to write about everything from hope and Saints (her favorites are Thérèse and Gianna) to Jane Austen. You can find out more about her here.

I was leaving a meeting one night when someone new pulled me aside to ask a question: “My friend’s daughter has gotten herself into some trouble because of alcohol. How can I help my friend?” I have been asked this question, or some version of it, over and over again. She continued, “I don’t want to give out private information. And, I don’t think her child is an alcoholic, but alcohol is a part of this situation.” It can feel overwhelming to be a good friend in times like these. What is helpful? What could hurt? How do we really know the difference? If you don’t have the same shared life experience, what can you do to help your friend or family member? An Ignatian Approach to Support Alcohol and drugs can create many problems. Whether a friend’s loved one has a problem with alcohol or alcohol has caused a problem, I think that my suggestions would be the same. Let me first say that I am not an addiction counselor or medical person. What I offer is my experience, strength and hope. I have spent the last 10 years practicing a 12-step program and studying its connections to Ignatian Spirituality. As my program slogan says, “Take what you like and leave the rest.” 7 Ways to Support a Friend Navigating Family Addiction I’ve come up with a list of actions that have helped me that I like to offer to friends who are looking for a way to support their friends and family members who are affected by the addictions of others. 1. Educate yourself on addiction. In my 12-step program, we learn that addiction is a disease. I like to break the word down: dis-ease. Because those who misuse drugs or alcohol experience dis-ease, they often use mind-altering substances to change the way that they feel. Understanding the disease helps you to look at those who suffer with compassion instead of judging them based upon their behavior while they are under the influence. 2. Understand that addiction is a family disease. Just like their addicted loved ones use drugs or alcohol to change the way that they feel, family members like to fix, control, or manage their loved ones in an effort to control the situation. The illusion of control sometimes makes us feel safe. It is the way that we quiet our dis-ease. Like our loved ones must admit that they are powerless over drug or drink, we have to admit that we are powerless over our addicted loved ones. You are just as powerless over your friend or family member’s situation. Because you are powerless, remember to ask God about every single decision. Don’t forget He is the Power! You just have to let Him be in charge. Pray without ceasing! 3. Listen. The best way to help your friend is to listen to them. When we accompany a friend through the hard places, that is the best gift that you can give. Addiction carries so much stigma that many people suffer in silence. Another 12-step slogan suggests that, “We are as sick as our secrets.” Science backs that up. Allowing your friend to bring their secret out into the light is a big first step towards healing. 4. Try to listen with unconditional love. Your friend or family member will try to protect their loved one from the stigma that this disease carries. A psychologist named Carl Rogers came up with the concept called "unconditional positive regard" for sessions with his clients where he stayed supportive and accepting regardless of what the client told him. He found that this helped them to feel safe sharing difficult things with him. In other words, offer unconditional love to your friend or family member no matter what they tell you. Remember they can be angry with their loved one. It may be harder for them to accept your anger towards their loved one. 5. Remember the three C’s. Remind your friend or family member of what 12-step programs call the three C’s: You didn’t cause the addiction; you can’t control the addiction and you will not be able to cure the addiction. This helps many people to alleviate the guilt and shame that often accompanies this disease. 6. Help them focus on themselves. Ask your friend or family member to take all of the energy that they have put on their addicted loved one and put it back on themselves. God takes care of our loved ones if we will get out of the way. Our loved ones will always pay more attention to what we do rather than what we say. Modeling good self-care is a very big deal. 7. Connect them to services. You cannot be all things to your friend or family member. But you can help them find support where they need it. Jesus taught us to accompany others in difficult times. If there is concern for the safety and well-being of your friend or family member, click here. The 12-step group for friends and family members of alcoholics (because you are a friend, this meeting is open to you, too). Spiritual Direction (some spiritual directors have 12-step experience, too). Ignatian Spirituality Retreats offer wonderful Ignatian retreats. Most retreat houses have recovery retreats at least once a year. Father Tom Weston Retreats. Father Tom is one of my favorites. He is a recovering alcoholic/addict and Al-anon member. He has online retreats available as well. My website that hosts many articles on addiction, as well as my book, Helping Families Recover from Addiction: Coping, Growing and Healing with 12-Step Practices and Ignatian Spirituality.   [bctt tweet="7 Ways to Support a Friend Navigating Family Addiction #BISblog //" via="no"]   Written by Jean Heaton. Find out more about her here.   This post contains affiliate links. Thanks so much for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She!

I was talking to a very wise priest about some things I had tried (and failed) to attempt to expand faith in my Catholic high school. He told me that many Saints started off this way on the journey to holiness, being so eager to do everything for God that we don’t actually do what He wants. Then, very simply, he told me that I have to listen and just do what He wants me to do. I have found that this is all about conversations in your relationship with Him. Prayer is all about conversation with God, and that has to be present in your relationship. God is the witness of the inmost self and the sure observer of the heart and the listener to the tongue. // Wisdom 1:6 Conversation with God God knows everything, but He still wants you to talk to Him, to ask Him for help, to trust Him. Asking Him what to do in situations is like asking Him to help you. He knows what you need and could just do it, but He wants you to ask and be close with Him. He could just make the decision for us, but He gave us free will and wants you to listen to Him, choose to do His will, and make the right decision. How Does This Look? As the priest told me minutes later, you don’t have to do anything. Open up your heart and tell the Lord your desire to listen more closely to Him and to do His will in your life, and let Him do His work. Honestly, this kind of scared me at first. What if I mess up? Will it really be this clear? Spoiler: you will be fine and it is amazing. An easy way to start is to ask Jesus about the little, everyday things so you become comfortable and ready to listen to His Voice in the big decisions. I even ask Him which sweatshirt I should wear in the morning, and that alone has brought us so much closer. It will be hard to listen to His voice at first, but have patience with yourself and Him. He will help you, and after time you will learn to recognize His voice more in your life. It is easier to ask the Lord about something so small as a sweatshirt. It gets harder with the bigger things, as you may not remember or the answer might not be as clear. That is why it is so important to start with the little things; though it is not easy at first, it helps you form a habit of listening to His voice.   Give Him Your Trust A good place to start in this endeavor of holiness is to give Him your trust. You have to trust His will above all else if you are going to make decisions based off of what He wants. Depending on your situation and past, trust may be hard to give. One prayer that I have found very helpful in my own life is the Litany of Trust. I always use this beautiful version from the Sisters of Life. From the belief that I have to earn Your love Deliver me, Jesus. From the fear that I am unlovable Deliver me, Jesus. From the false security that I have what it takes Deliver me, Jesus. From the fear that trusting You will leave me more destitute Deliver me, Jesus. From all suspicion of Your words and promises Deliver me, Jesus. From the rebellion against childlike dependency on You Deliver me, Jesus. From refusals and reluctances in accepting Your will Deliver me, Jesus. From anxiety about the future Deliver me, Jesus. From resentment or excessive preoccupation with the past Deliver me, Jesus. From restless self-seeking in the present moment Deliver me, Jesus. From disbelief in Your love and presence Deliver me, Jesus. From the fear of being asked to give more than I have Deliver me, Jesus. From the belief that my life has no meaning or worth Deliver me, Jesus. From the fear of what love demands Deliver me, Jesus. From discouragement Deliver me, Jesus. That You are continually holding me, sustaining me, loving me Jesus, I trust in You. That Your love goes deeper than my sins and failings and transforms me Jesus, I trust in You. That not knowing what tomorrow brings is an invitation to lean on You Jesus, I trust in You. That You are with me in my suffering Jesus, I trust in You. That my suffering, united to Your own, will bear fruit in this life and the next Jesus, I trust in You. That You will not leave me orphan, that You are present in Your Church Jesus, I trust in You. That Your plan is better than anything else Jesus, I trust in You. That You always hear me and in Your goodness always respond to me Jesus, I trust in You. That You give me the grace to accept forgiveness and to forgive others Jesus, I trust in You. That You give me all the strength I need for what is asked Jesus, I trust in You. That my life is a gift Jesus, I trust in You. That You will teach me to trust You Jesus, I trust in You. That You are my Lord and my God Jesus, I trust in You. That I am Your beloved one Jesus, I trust in You. It worked. Asking God what He actually wanted created so many opportunities to expand faith, and it still does. Remember, you do not have to do anything except listening to Him. It will bring you so much peace. Talk to Him, whether it is about your job opportunities or sweatshirt options, and you will grow in intimacy with Him. If you need a reminder to daily place your trust in Jesus, here is a beautiful Jesus, I trust in You poster in the BIS Shop.   [bctt tweet="The Small Step to a Radical Prayer Life #BISblog //" via="no"]   Anna Anderson is passionate about her Catholic Faith with devotions to Mary, Help of Christians and the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Anderson is planning to become a Salesian Sister when she finishes her education. She is also very passionate about the pro-life movement, and believes that abortion stops one heart and breaks another. Her view is that the whole point of the pro-life movement is love; therefore, she treats all women with compassion no matter her circumstances.

What if we viewed ourselves the way God does? One therapeutic technique often used is known as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and the premise is this: our thoughts shape our emotions, which ultimately lead to us behaving a certain way. Thoughts are that important! Think about it this way, if you go about thinking you are unworthy or unlovable, you will likely feel sad or view the world in a way that fosters those beliefs. As a result you may have difficulty with confidence, or when things do not go the way you want them to. On the other hand, if you viewed yourself as loved and cared for you would likely feel secure and happy, and go about life with a more positive disposition. What Scripture Says In Psalm 8:4-7 it is written: When I see your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and stars that you set in place... What is man that you are mindful of him, and a son of man that you care for him? Yet you have made him little less than a god, crowned him with glory and honor. You have given him rule over the works of your hands, put all things at his feet. God views you as even more beautiful than the most beautiful thing you have seen in all of creation. Do you see yourself that way? Do your inner thoughts reflect His own? Take some time to evaluate your own inner dialogue and how your thoughts may be shaping not only your worldview, but your relationship with God. How Do You Speak? When I was younger, I thought and spoke badly of myself. A friend (who later became my husband) encouraged me to look in the mirror and combat those lies. To verbally say out loud that I was a good person, a kind person, and worthy of love. I absolutely hated it. I cried and became angry with them. I made excuses for why I didn’t want to do it. It was uncomfortable when I tried. Yet when I did, I felt it working. I wrote those statements on sticky notes and plastered them on my mirror. I said them to myself every day until I began to believe them. They were no longer difficult for me to say to myself, and I could say them to myself in times of adversity. Biblical Affirmations for Beginners In therapy, we call these affirmations, or positive statements, we make to ourselves. They have become quite popular over the years; you can find them all over Pinterest! If this is something you struggle with, I’d love for you to try out these affirmations based on Scripture: “I am a child of God.” // John 1:12 “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” // Psalm 139:14 “I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” // 2 Timothy 1:7 “God loves me with an everlasting love.” // Jeremiah 31:3 “God has a plan for my life, and it is full of hope.” // Jeremiah 29:11 You may dislike it at first, but do not give up. Continue to practice and you will notice a change in self-esteem. It is my hope you will begin to see yourself as the beautiful creation you are, and therefore you can grow in your relationship with God.   [bctt tweet="Biblical Affirmations #BISblog //" via="no"]   Christie L. is a therapist turned stay at home mom living in Ohio with her two children and husband. You can find out more about her here.

White sand beaches, towering sea cliffs, coral reefs, and vacation destination. This might be how some would describe Molokai, Hawaii’s fifth largest island. But one-hundred and fifty years ago, it was a place that Saint Damien would speak of as a “special Calvary”. Saint Damien’s Heart for Missions Joseph De Vuester was born in Belgium in 1840. Nineteen years later he followed in the footsteps of his older brother, August, joining the Congregation of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary. Upon entering, he took the name Damien. His heart’s desire was to serve in the missions and he prayed daily, asking for the intercession of St. Francis Xavier (patron of the missions). It wasn’t long before his prayer was answered, but perhaps not in the way that he expected. His older brother had been asked to serve in Hawaii, but was prevented from traveling after becoming ill with typhus. Damien received permission to accept the mission post on his brother’s behalf. He arrived in Honolulu in March of 1864 and was ordained a priest just two months later. The Untouchables In the mid 1800’s, leprosy had become a pandemic in Hawaii and there was no known treatment or cure. Those who were afflicted were banned from all social contact. Consequently, those who contracted leprosy were seen as rejects and untouchables. In fear, the people pleaded with their king to do something about it. His response was to pass the “Act to Prevent the Spread of Leprosy”. This act segregated the healthy from the lepers by deporting all those infected to a settlement called Kalawao on the Island of Molokai. Here the lepers were left to die. Damien’s mission had concerns that the lepers on Molokai would die without the spiritual aid and comfort of the church. While the Bishop wanted to send help, he did not want to order that any priests be sent to Molokai, because he knew it would mean almost certain death. Despite the serious risk, Damien and three other brothers volunteered to go, with Damien being the first to leave on May 10th, 1873. Life With the Lepers While the Bishop had organized these four volunteers to serve the lepers in three-month rotations, when Damien saw nearly a thousand lepers upon his arrival and more arriving by the boatload, he decided to stay there indefinitely. His Bishop honored his request to dedicate the rest of his life for the lepers. Damien was no stranger to manual labor. He threw himself into any need that he saw. He did not shy away from cleaning wounds or amputating infected limbs. He also built houses, built a water pipeline, and buried the dead with a dignified burial. It is believed that he built over sixteen hundred coffins. While he cared for the physically sick, he did not forget about their spirit. As their loving and thoughtful spiritual father, he was known to celebrate feast days by putting on processions with music to accompany them. A Friend and Foe When we hear stories of heroic Saints, we often assume they must have been universally loved during their lives. However, at least in Saint Damien’s case, there were plenty of people who found something to complain about. He was well loved by those that he served, but could be short with others when they ignored his requests for more supplies. What caused most of the hatred towards Damien was the fame and recognition he was receiving for his selflessness and service to the lepers. His work was recognized internationally, causing jealousy among other mission groups and even the Board of Health, who made fun of him for it. Even priests grew in jealousy of Damien as his popularity grew. But Damien would not allow humiliation to slow him down. A Legacy Left Damien was indeed willing to die among the lepers, but not to throw caution to the wind. He took safety precautions to do what he could in order to prevent contracting the disease, knowing that the longer he stayed healthy, the longer he could best serve and love the sick. His diligence protected him for eleven years, until he did finally contract leprosy. During his illness he wrote to his bishops, telling them that the more advanced his disease became, the more he found himself content and happy. He credited this to the grace he received on the day of his vows. Through the five years he would suffer with leprosy, his face was disfigured, his lungs became infected, and his hands and feet were covered with sores. Eventually the disease took his life at the age of forty-nine. He died on April 15th, 1889 and was buried under the same tree that he had slept beneath when he first arrived on Molokai. Today, his legacy lives on. Honored in Our Nation’s Capitol He is honored not only by the Church, but also as one of two Saints represented in the National Statuary Hall of the Capitol in Washington D.C. (the other being Saint Junipero Serra). The artist chosen for this important commission was Marisol Escobar, a woman known for her abstract and surrealist art. She designed the piece from a photo of Damien as he was suffering from leprosy. While the statue isn’t pretty, neither is the disease. Marisole herself admitted that her stout looking statue was ugly, for she chiseled Damien’s face with scars, carved his hands weathered, and showed his work shoes as clunky and heavy. But there he stands, steadfastly holding on to his guava cane which he made himself, bearing with grace the special cross that Jesus allowed him to carry. Our Opportunities to Sacrifice During Damien’s beatification homily, Pope Saint John Paul II recognizes Damien’s exceptional virtue in choosing to live life with the lepers. John Paul II challenges all of us to love selflessly as well, saying: In your daily life, you are called to make choices that ‘occasionally demand uncommon sacrifices.’ This is the price of true happiness. We are not lacking in opportunity. There are the homeless at the busy intersection, the elderly in the nursing homes, the vulnerable unborn, and the friend or family member who is hard to forgive. What uncommon sacrifice is the Lord calling you to make? How is he asking you to restore another’s dignity and value?   [bctt tweet="Saint Damien of Molokai // His Heart for Missions #BISblog //" via="no"]

Summer is just around the corner. Many of us are already making plans to go camping, head to the beach, or take an adventurous road trip. No matter where we are going, or for how long, packing enough clothing for various kinds of weather is essential. And we can’t forget our toiletries, supplements, and other home-away-from-home necessities. Not to mention food, drinks, and kitchen gadgets, if we are preparing meals along the way or once we reach our destination. Packing all the right material things for our summer trip is important, but what about packing the right spiritual things? Spiritual Packing List for Summer Travel Packing a few key spiritual items will help us stay connected to God in prayer, no matter where the summer season takes us. Because we don’t want to take a vacation from Our Lord; rather we want to bring Him with us, wherever we go. Before We Go Before jumping in the car or boarding the plane, take some time to spiritually prepare. Go to Confession before you leave. Determine when and where you will attend Mass, if you are traveling over a Sunday. Make part of your vacation a pilgrimage by visiting a shrine in the area where you are traveling. Sacramentals Pack a few sacramentals to ensure added blessing and protection along the way. A sacramental is anything set apart or blessed by the Church to excite good thoughts and to increase devotion, and through these movements of the heart to remit venial sin. The chief sacramental is the Sign of the Cross. // The Baltimore Catechism Holy Water // Use holy water to bless yourself everyday on vacation. Also bless your vehicle and accommodations. Blessed Salt // Did you know an exorcism prayer is prayed by the priest as he blesses salt? Packing a little container of blessed salt can be powerful against any spiritual attack you may experience while on vacation. Carry it in your purse or backpack. Sprinkle it around the perimeter of where you are staying for added spiritual protection. Rosary // My grandma first introduced me to the Rosary on a road trip. This is an excellent prayer to pray, as you begin each day of travel. I like to add the Prayer to Saint Michael at the end of the Rosary. Prayer Aids Even when you are in an unfamiliar place, it is vital to maintain your daily prayer routine. This will help begin each day with joy and end each day with peace. Whether you are in the car, in a tent, or in a condo, add a little time with the Lord to your itinerary each day of vacation. Pack along any and all prayer aids you usually use, to ensure that prayer happens on vacation: Bible Magnificat (also downloadable on your phone) Devotional Journal Faith-Based Reads All of us love a good beach read, to leisurely enjoy on vacation, don’t we? How about selecting a faith-based novel to quench your thirst for a good story? Autor Stephanie Landsem has a wonderful trilogy of Biblical fiction called The Living Water Series. Her newest novel, In a Far-Off Land, takes place in 1930s Hollywood, and is inspired by the Biblical account of the prodigal son. The Sword and Serpent Trilogy by Dr. Taylor Marshall takes us back to the time of the earliest Christians and Roman persecutions. Learn about the lives of Saint George, Saint Christopher, Saint Nicholas, Saint Catherine of Alexandria, and more (before they were Saints) in this adventurous tale. Teens can explore a variety of summer reading options at Catholic Teen Books—from historical fiction to contemporary and dystopian. Kids of all ages will enjoy reading about the saints in the five volumes of Saints Chronicles. Fun Activities for the Whole Family To pass the time in the car or on a plane, bring along fun activities with a faith twist. Here are a few to consider: The Catholic Card Game Catholic Trivia Cat Chat Radio Dramas Catholic Activity and Coloring Books Easy Evangelization Traveling can be a fun way to share our Catholic faith. Maybe it is even a good way to practice being more outwardly Catholic, as we most likely will not see the people we encounter ever again. We can do this subtly and simply. Affix a Catholic car decal to the back window Have the whole family wear Catholic t-shirts Decorate your suitcase or water bottle with fun Catholic stickers. What do you bring on vacation to ensure that you stay grounded in your relationship with the Lord? Share your suggestions in the comments below!   [bctt tweet="Your Spiritual Packing List for Summer Trips #BISblog //" via="no"]

"I know you hate math, honey, but you still have to do it. Don't give up; be stubborn and get it done." Those words left my mouth a week before I was whacked with the humility stick and learned how wrong I was to encourage my kids to be stubborn. Divine timing had a wise friend call and we ended up chatting about the vital difference between "stubbornness" vs "perseverance". While I had meant to encourage my daughter to finish her math with the virtue of perseverance, I had unintentionally been speaking of the vice. That conversation has been eye-opening to me. Inheriting the Family Stubbornness I was raised in a family where being strong-willed was portrayed as a virtue, a sense of pride. It was almost considered our identity. Our family never complains and we push through in our self-reliance, no matter what life throws at us. Now, having sifted through my memories, I have noticed the apathy and independence in my family was not as healthy and strong as I thought. And I regret (and have asked forgiveness) for encouraging that mentality in myself and my kids, instead of enlightening them about true perseverance. Is Stubbornness that Bad? Stubbornness is a form of self-protection. It safeguards our hearts from fear, pain, or vulnerability. We create a wall around our hearts, refusing to listen to reason or accept help. Our hearts become stone, hardened. When someone has a stubborn heart, we see rotten fruits like: hidden anxiety or avoidance hurt relationships rebellion pride emotional numbness anger, bitterness The Virtue of Perseverance On the other hand, perseverance is a form of docility modeled by Our Lady who trusted God in every circumstance. When we practice this virtue, we bear the fruit of peace, fortitude, hope, and humility. Perseverance in a crisis, whether it is a family emergency or getting that math homework done, does not build up a wall to keep others out. It opens our hearts to grace. We become humble enough to reach out a hand and accept help. Notice Your Body How can we tell which one we are choosing? Our body language can be one clue to whether we are open or closed to God and our families. Think of a three-year-old who does not want to leave the park. When we see a child crossing her arms or by figuratively (sometimes literally?) "digging in her heels", this posture tells us to take a bolstering sip of our coffee and prepare for battle. She has fortified the walls and raised the drawbridge so we cannot easily get in. Stubbornness has an "unlistening" spirit: one will not budge on principle, even if it means ignoring the logical thing to do. Saint Augustine refers to these souls as "those who... are so stubborn and contentious that they refuse to give in even if they do understand.” Turns out stubbornness and perseverance are very different in their effect on the heart and relationships. Finding the Root of Your Family's Stubbornness This year been a time of grief for all of us in different ways. Did you know there are many types of grief and loss beyond bereavement? Psychology Today summarizes them into 4 subtle types. And I'm sure each of us has experienced at least one, if not more: Loss of identity: layoffs, missed career and educational opportunities, social outings, church community Loss of safety: fear of illness and death, troubled marriages and domestic violence, job security Loss of autonomy: lockdown restrictions, helplessness in illness, financial setbacks Loss of dreams: cancelled trips, plans for 2020/2021, postponed or limited special events We are grieving these losses. Our kids too. But how are we dealing with them? By putting up a protective wall or with docile perseverance trusting God will get us through this? And what have we been showing our kids in this crisis? That we always have it all together? That our family pushes on despite cracking on the inside? Or how to be at peace in the valleys, how to turn to God when there is no immediate answer and we are surrounded by water filling up our little boat in this storm? Have you shown your kids how to grieve their losses? Or how to stuff them away? Digging Deeper After that enlightening conversation with my friend, I realized how much I have chosen the latter. In my desire to build my kids' resilience, I have neglected to first acknowledge their feelings of anger, helplessness, and sadness in trials. I unknowingly planted seeds of stubbornness in my kiddos by repeating to them my generational mantra: push through no matter what. Maybe you see the same rotten fruits in your kids but, like me, did not realize where the root came from? disobedience and arguing passive-aggressive silence lack of empathy for their siblings anxiety controlling, need to be right Does this sound a little too familiar? There is a very simple way to help your family break down their walls and begin healing. Overcoming Stubbornness After that phone call, I knew God was calling my family to repent from our stubborn hearts and ask Him for healing. Using a worksheet I had created to make the prayer activity more concrete, here's what we did for family prayer this past week: I explained our hearts can build walls as a form of protection, and gave specific examples that concerned our family. These walls (which I named "stubbornness") block God's healing and peace from entering our hearts. We prayed together about what stones we have been using as building blocks for our walls. I made sure to validate the feelings they had when they were trying to protect their hearts, and encouraged them to share them with Jesus instead. We repented as a family and asked forgiveness for each specific stone we used in our wall. We promised to lovingly help each other stay on track this coming week. Then, we invited the Divine Healer to break down these walls and fill us with true perseverance so we could have lasting peace. We finished with Scripture: "A new heart I will give you, and a new spirit I will put within you; and I will remove from your body the heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh" (Ezekiel 36: 26). Ready to Try? You can grab the Break the Walls worksheet here to guide your kids through the reflection. I explained each stone and gave gentle examples of what I had noticed in their behaviour. With God's grace, your family will break free from the hurtful traits you've been noticing and grow peaceful hearts.   [bctt tweet="Stubbornness and Your Family #BISblog //" via="no"]   Maria Weir is a Canadian wife and mom. She has a degree in Psychology, now gathering dust as she cares for her 3 bio kids and 2 bonus kids with medical and special needs. She decidedly does not have a coffee addiction. Much. You can catch more hands-on resources on faith and family life skills on the blog, Stand Up, Reach Out.