I remember returning home from a spring semester abroad. It was four months filled with beautiful walks along cobblestone, picturesque sunsets viewed from the Spanish steps, and an unexpected grace to love the thirty other people I was living in community with.
Loving all thirty of these people didn’t come easily at first. I definitely felt more good will towards those who were easy to like and sensed more tension and frustration with a few others. Yet sometime around Easter, I felt such an outpouring of grace, which deepened my ability to love. I experienced a grace which made being charitable so much easier.
Then came setting my feet upon American soil and re-entering normal life. Within just a few days I started noticing how impatient I was becoming with my family. I had just been living this blissful, Italian life for a gorgeous spring season, and when summer hit I found myself struggling to be gracious.
What I and my fellow travel companions were realizing is that our family accepts us for who we are. They’ve seen most of our weaknesses and know our faults, yet they love us anyway. Because of this, it was easier to take my family for granted. I knew they’d accept me no matter what, so in a sense, the bar was lower. I didn’t need to impress my family with kindness, hospitality, and a good attitude. I could just be me, flaws and all, and I didn’t try very hard to hide or fix them.
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When I think of my comfortability with my family, it makes me think of how I sometimes respond to Jesus. I know He’s there, He knows I love Him, and I know He loves me. And because He’s always there, I take His presence for granted. I tend to stop looking for the Holy Spirit breathing in my life.
Maybe this is why in John 21:17 Jesus asks Simon a third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” The Gospel continues explaining that “Peter was distressed that he said to him a third time, ‘Do you love me?’ and he said to him, ‘Lord, you know everything, you know that I love you.’”
Peter was being sincere when he was telling Jesus that he loved Him, but also knew that he had denied Jesus three times at a time when Jesus was most vulnerable. And part of his distress was this remembrance of the denial and the hesitation to accept forgiveness for what seemed unforgivable.
In this story Peter learned that Jesus lets us return to Him again and again. He desires us to return. Even when we fail and forget to acknowledge Him. Even when we reject Him. Especially when we reject Him.
Jesus isn’t intimidated by our weaknesses. Psalm 136 tells us over and over that “His mercy endures forever.”
He will keep waiting for you.
What are you waiting for?