I tossed and turned in bed, feeling awfully discouraged and a bit numb. Intellectually, I knew the Lord was there, but my heart told me differently. He seemed woefully distant and my heart felt completely alone–especially here in the dark of night. Yet instead of ignoring or simply wallowing in the feeling as I had done a thousand times before, I directed it to Him. “Lord, where are you?” my heart called dejectedly. No earth-shattering answer immediately came to me, no booming voice rang through the night; but as I fought against insomnia, I became aware of a song floating through my mind. It was a hymn from my youth–a rather annoying hymn, I thought irritably. “I will bless the Lord Who gives me counsel / Who even at night instructs my heart.” The lyrics broke through my mood and struck a chord. Who even at night is right here. The Lord was listening. And He was telling me–specifically, in a way He knew I’d recognize–that He was right here with me. Closer than my own breath. Are We Really Alone? In my experience, believing we are alone is the most convincing lie that Satan likes to tell, and fear is the biggest way he tries to trap us and keep us from growing in relationship with God. We fear facing our wounds, memories, sin, and shame. We fear discerning a decision or making the wrong decision. We think we are the only one who have not connected deeply with a faith community, the only one who struggles with prayer, the only one who feels angry at or forgotten by the Lord, or the only one who can’t seem to hear God’s voice. My grace-filled moment of encounter with the Lord that one night, along with many other small moments, have become irrefutable evidence against these lies. These graces have continually revealed God’s relentless pursuit of me as His beloved–even in moments I don’t necessarily feel it or believe it. Nothing has clarified and reinforced this absolute truth more intimately than the 8 weeks I spent journeying through The Well Mentorship Program in August of 2020 with some dear friends from the Blessed is She team. Since then, I have had the privilege of helping guide more than 80 women along the same journey of encounter to discover how fervently and personally God is pursuing their own hearts. Through the Well, I’ve watched countless women experience healing and freedom from these same lies and fears as they are exposed to God’s light. I’ve witnessed women’s hearts and souls gain new spiritual sight through undeniable, personal experiences of God’s lasting truth and particular love for them. It has been the most incredible gift to my heart to not only experience this freedom for myself, but watch other women discover the same–and it’s a gift I cannot help but desire for every single woman in the entire world. What is The Well? The Well is an 8-week online program dedicated to leading you through an intentional, personalized encounter with the Living God. The Well helps to dismantle your misconceptions about God, prayer, and your own identity and worth–rebuilding a firm foundation of real intimacy, personal connection in prayer, and authentic identity. This happens in several ways through: the guidance of your mentor intentional community the wisdom of the Saints the Catechism and Church documents, and your own experience in the weekly Prayer Practices. The Well is not just another self-help program; it’s truly about transformational intimacy + identity with the Lord! Who is the Well for? The Well Mentorship is for any woman age 18+ who desires to grow in relationship with God. The Holy Spirit knits together each small group with divine wisdom and detail. Hundreds of women of all ages, stages, and vocations have participated in The Well, made lifelong friends, and had their lives completely transformed! You can read some of their incredible testimonies below. What’s the Format Like? When you sign up for your particular date and time option, you’ll first get a confirmation email. Once your section of ten women is full, your facilitator will send you a welcome email with a schedule, session Zoom link, and calendar link to sign up for your 30-minute one-on-one mentorship call with your facilitator! More specifics: There are 8 online sessions total, 1 per week (you might take a short break if there’s a holiday!). Live sessions are on Zoom, last 1 hour and 45 minutes, and are recorded for individual use. You’ll receive a special workbook to store up your takeaways and refer back to after The Well. Sessions include small group sharing, mentor feedback, Scripture time, teaching, and guided prayer. There’s a Prayer Practice every week to help you personally experience what you’ve learned. You’ll have access to a private online group to connect with your small group throughout the week, plus a prayer partner as an extra layer of community! Who are the Facilitators? Your facilitators are women of deep prayer and discernment with gifts of guidance and mentorship. With God’s grace, we do our best every day to really practice what we preach, and help you discern what God thinks is best for you, not just what we think is best! Beth Davis is the creator and mastermind of The Well Mentorship! She speaks, writes, and leads retreats about Jesus, and is especially passionate about teaching women how to develop an intimate relationship with the Lord. She has over 15 years of experience guiding and mentoring women in youth ministry and as the Director of Ministry Advancement for Blessed is She. Claire Dwyer has a deep love of learning about the Catholic Faith, and she loves to share that wealth of knowledge with other women to help transform their lives through practical teaching and profound insights. She is a devoted wife and mom of six, celebrated author of This Present Paradise, and editor for spiritualdirection.com. Megan Hjelmstad has a huge heart for helping women discover and live out of their authentic identity as God’s beloved. She’s a wife, mom, writer, and speaker who loves to connect on a heart level with women. Megan has spent the past 15 years leading, guiding, and mentoring souls as an Army officer, women’s ministry leader, and Blessed is She team member. What Women Say About the Well Not only have I had my prayer life transformed through The Well, but countless other women have found deeper relationship with the Lord and more authentic community, too. Here's what they have to say. "The Well was just what I needed to begin again. It gave me structure while encouraging intimate conversations with our Lord. I loved the wisdom/advice Beth (and the Holy Spirit) would offer during the small group and learned so much from hearing her responses to the other women in our group. It was a beautiful experience and I would highly recommend it." // "Honestly, I'm convinced I'll be unpacking the graces for years to come. In a particular way my heart was especially docile, just in a very exhausted, vulnerable place, and so much of the Well spoke right into that. I do also think that the steady encouragement, the accountability of a group, and teachings that are clear and convicted were indispensable." // "Where to begin?! Besides learning a lot about our faith I literally felt bonds of pain hurt fear loosen via the prayer and practice. I cried a lot ! But as I learned from Megan these were tears of consolation. The truth that God loves me overwhelms me in such a way I don’t want to ever stray away. It was an incredible journey for me." // "I loved the authentic community that formed, and the graces from God our leader nudged us to acknowledge and accept. Wherever I was day-to-day, I felt like I could bring my authentic self to this group of women without judgement and be received with love and compassion." Ready to dive in with the Lord? We can't wait to pray with you.   [bctt tweet="Meet Him at the Well #BISblog //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking about addiction, compulsion, and loving those who suffer this cross. We'd love for you to join the conversation! I was the new girl in town. I’d just finished my Army contract, moved across the country with my family, and traded intense training, 18-hour work days, and giving commands to stay-at-home-motherhood: potty training, 24-hour “work” days, and toddlers who resisted all commands. A week into this new life, I found myself surrounded by a sea of boxes—my identity about as lost as the items I was looking for. So I fled in desperation to the only place I could think of: story time at the library. As I squeezed into a spot at the back of the carpet, awkwardly juggling the baby carrier and two toddlers, a fellow mom flashed me a smile; my insides flooded with relief. I wasn’t alone! After story time we struck up a conversation, which led to an invitation: did I want to meet at the playground next week and join a group of other new-ish moms looking for community? I was elated. Comparison is a Thief Soon though, I noticed differences: their sunglasses all sported designer logos, their homes, though smaller, were nicer and newer, and they continually consulted each other on the best (read: most admirable) brands of new cars, baby gear, and electronics. I’d always appreciated authentic beauty and had fairly good taste. And after nine arduous years in uniform, I thought I had grown to appreciate more important things: my faith, the gift of my family, and the opportunity to finally stay home with my kids—even if it meant cutting our salary in half. Now, though, surrounded by my new friends, my eyes were opened wide to the affluence around me; suddenly I felt naïve and shabby. The Need to Belong Despite my deep and steady faith, the need to belong steamrolled my acceptance of God’s love as I sought the superficial approval of others (whose own superficial seeking had them starving for more). I tried to convert my friends to me rather than converting my heart to God, and I quickly lost my identity in the process. Thus began a downward spiral of shopping compulsion—making a special detour for a sale at a store or scouring the internet for hours on end to find the “right” material thing in order to belong. Even as my friend group grew apart and moved, even as I found intentional, faith-filled community and began to heal in identity and relationship with God, the temptation held on. It had firmly attached to my deepest ache for belonging and the enemy ensured that it evolved as I grew more aware and faithful. I’d stop short on social media for a cleverly-curated ad, suddenly convinced I needed this thing (non-existent in my world a mere moment before). I’d admire someone’s outfit, then find myself searching online to find it. I’d get sucked into a sale, thinking if I didn’t find the perfect bargain on page one, surely it would be buried in the annals of the internet on page twenty. Yet I began to realize that the clicking never ended. My hunger was never satisfied. The elation of a new package on my doorstep lasted only a moment before the novelty wore off. The status and acceptance I attached to new items was superficial, short-lived, and only lead to more longing and exhaustion. However picture-worthy my home, however overflowing my closet, my heart was never full. The ache only intensified. [bctt tweet="However picture-worthy my home, however overflowing my closet, my heart was never full. The ache only intensified. #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"] Confiding + Confessing I began to take my struggle to regular confession, and with the added wisdom of my spiritual director, the Lord began to speak deeply into my heart about the kind of detachment which leads to real freedom. Detachment might feel like a scary word, but in fact it releases us from the enslavement of the world to bring about real freedom and fulfillment that only make sense in the context of the goodness of God. We can cling to all sorts of worldly attachments—acceptance, status, material things, and can even put seemingly good desires like relationship and vocation ahead of God. Yet sooner or later the emptiness or grief catches up, and we find ourselves faced with the central question of our heart: Is God enough? In seeking the healing that allows God to truly be enough, I’ve experienced ever growing freedom from the trap of worldly compulsions and a deepening, immovable sense of my identity as God’s beloved. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY If You Struggle with a Shopping/Acquiring Compulsion So, what to do if you struggle with this too? Recognize It's a Symptom of Something Deeper Struggling with this doesn’t make you a bad person; it simply means you’re human—in need of healing just like everyone else! We often try to treat the visible symptoms of our wounds, but that can just lead to frustration or despair. What pain, emptiness, or fear is buried beneath your actions? Ask God to reveal it in a way you can handle, so you can begin to address the underlying cause with the aid of the sacraments and professional help. Just Say No Social media ads are insidiously created to target your preferences, lure you in, and keep you clicking. When I realized these were a “gateway” for my online shopping, my spiritual director instructed me to quickly and firmly say “NO!” (even out loud if needed!), then run (click) away as fast as possible. We can justify “just looking for a second,” and entertain or dialogue with temptation (like Eve dialoguing with Satan in the Garden of Eden) but that exponentially increases the chance that we’ll give in. Saying “NO!” slams the door on the Satan’s attempt and helps our conscious will overcome subconscious conditioning. Practice Fasting and Gratitude One year, I gave up online shopping for Lent—but I knew I was likely to just run to another compulsion unless I replaced the temptation with something fruitful. Many great Saints swear by gratitude as a powerful weapon against temptation. When I was tempted to quit, I whispered a prayer for God’s help and started listing things all the things I had that I took for granted. This sincere gratitude, especially in a world filled with so much need, helped re-condition my mind and bring me to a place of peace. Bring It to God + Seek Healthy Community When I was at my lowest in longing for belonging, I still went to church and prayed with my family, but I didn’t have much of a personal prayer routine and definitely didn’t bring my struggle straight to God. When I finally began to invite Him in to my personal struggles, He was there waiting with healing love and grace—especially in the Sacraments, Confession, and Adoration. I also was desperate enough at my lowest point accept any kind of community, even if it damaged my heart and pulled me away God. I wanted instantaneous rescue from my loneliness rather than investing the time and effort needed for healthy, God-centered, and mutually uplifting relationships. Through the grace of God, I eventually began working for a new ministry called Blessed is She, and the examples of other women earnestly seeking the Lord and desiring to grow in holiness inspired me to want the same. Community might not happen for you overnight, but if you put in the effort God will honor your desire and bring it about in His perfect time! You can also connect with local Blessed is She community through your regional Facebook group, or search for or start a local group here! Ask for Help Finally, if the problem persists or if you feel that it might reach into the realms of addiction, don’t despair. There is so much help available for you! Counseling ( check out catholiccounselors.com) is an incredible tool to help identify underlying wounds, begin the healing process, and learn healthier behaviors. Spiritual direction is also an incredible companion to address the spiritual side of things, and develop prayer practices and virtues to more intentionally combat specific temptations. As Pope Emeritus Benedict so aptly stated: The world promises you comfort. But you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness. Here’s to all the greatness, healing, and freedom that Lord has in store for you!   If you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Addiction // Shopping Compulsion #BISblog #blessedchats" via="no"]