He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Master, are you going to wash my feet?" Jesus answered and said to him, "What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later." John 13:6-7
What I am doing now, you do not understand now, but you will understand later...
The cross - suffering - is not something I understand in my life right now. To be honest, sometimes I hate it. It's scary and uncertain. I ask questions and wrestle with God. I beg, plead, and cry, wondering what possible good can come from deep pain and suffering. It feels lonely and dark. It is so easy to ask, "What's the point? What could possibly come from this in my life?"
And yet, what is most painful and awful in life is what saves us - suffering. Jesus didn't redeem us by his miracles or teachings but by his suffering. And in doing this, He has radically transformed all my sufferings. They have a place to go: on the cross. In my broken humanity, I see the answer as I look at Jesus. The answer? To actively unite whatever my suffering to the cross, even if I never understand or see the fruit from it in this life.
What can possibly come from my sufferings? A chance to participate with Him in the salvation of the human race. At a glance, that can sound like an overly romantic, fuzzy idea, but it certainly doesn't feel warm and fuzzy as you walk through it. But the challenge is to hold on, persevere, and believe that the most painful moments in life have a great, mysterious purpose.
What God is allowing in life now, I do not understand... but someday I will.
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