I was fourteen years old when I learned that I was losing part of my left leg to a rare form of cancer called Myxoid Liposarcoma. To this day, the hardest thing about my experience with cancer is the fact that no one around me had been through anything similar. Even though my peers tried their best to be there for me, all I wanted was to talk with someone who had been in my exact shoes. We are often told that we should look at the lives of the Saints as examples, but I am a skeptical person by nature so I remember thinking to myself, There is no way there are Saints for limb loss. Even Saint Peregrine was able to keep his left leg.
One fateful Google search in 2022 led me to find a couple of Saints/Venerables who have experienced this specific cross in their lives, but I was particularly drawn to one: Venerable Antoinetta Meo. She was a six-year-old from Italy who loved the Lord with all of her being despite suffering so much at such a tender age. I ended up reading the book that contained the letters and writings that led up to her death entitled: Lamp & Lily: The Letters and Writings of Venerable Antoinetta Meo. Through her writings, I compiled a list of takeaways that we can learn from her short yet meaningful life.
1. Suffering teaches us to love
After Antoinetta had her amputation, she wore a prosthetic to be able to walk. At the time, prosthetics were not as developed as they are now and hers gave her much discomfort. Yet, when faced with such a frustrating situation, her response was, “Every step I take is a little word of love.” As someone who has been an amputee for almost ten years, this quote has inspired me to remember that every single step I’ve taken since being cancer-free is an act of love. It is the Lord’s abundant love that allows me to walk this Earth so freely and this trial has expanded my capacity to love even more deeply.
2. Our worth in Christ has nothing to do with outward appearances
Scripture says in 1 Samuel 16:7: “God does not see as a mortal, who sees the appearance. The Lord looks into the heart.” I learned very early on that my self-worth never had anything to do with what I looked like. While the rest of Antoinetta’s peers enjoyed playtime without much pain, she did not have that same luxury. I lost my leg at an age when outward appearances were everything. You can imagine the initial shock I had when I learned that I would no longer have two legs like everyone else. There was a temptation to hide by wearing long pants all the time and never putting on a skirt or a dress ever again, but the Lord did not craft us to spend our lives hiding. He longs for us to walk in the light and to be seen. After my amputation, skirts and dresses became my go-tos, because why would I be ashamed of the most tangible mark of God’s love for me?
3. A life well-lived is more important than living a long life
Venerable Antoinetta Meo died on July 3, 1937, at the age of six. Death is always a hard thing to grasp fully, but even more so when someone young who seemingly had their whole life ahead of them passes away. Yet, when I read her writings, it is clear to me that she understood the value of her life. While other people grow old searching for the purpose of their lives, she knew what hers was at a young age. Antoinetta offered up her sufferings for the conversions of people who did not know God. She spent her short life close to the Father’s heart. Surely that is worth more than living a life that is long but devoid of the love of Jesus Christ. It is not how long we live that determines how good our lives were, but rather how much we loved that defines a life well lived (see Psalm 90:12). I have been very fortunate to be given nine additional years so far since surviving cancer at fourteen, but I know that one day I will also return to the Father.
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4. Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young
1 Timothy 4:12 is one of my favorite Bible verses and it says: “Let no one have contempt for your youth, but set an example for those who believe in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.” One of the most interesting parts about being a cancer survivor at such a young age is the pedestal that some people will put you on. I can’t completely blame people for treating me that way. It is a difficult feat to face cancer head-on and emerge from it with a ton of joy, but I attribute all of that to the Lord. He preserves my childlike wonder and joy just as He did with Antoinetta.
5. We should long for Jesus above anything else in this life
Anoinetta’s letters were very repetitive. She would often say the same thing about longing to be close to Jesus and wanting to be close to Mama Mary. Leading up to her First Holy Communion, she talked about how she desperately wanted to receive Jesus. It’s so beautiful to witness a six-year-old who knew what the most important thing was in this life. She did not take Jesus for granted, and her life completely revolved around loving the Lord. As each of us continue on our journey towards Heaven, we can look to Antoinetta’s life as an example of how to be so in love with our Lord that this love consumes us in the same manner that we consume Him every Sunday at Mass.
Although I always imagined meeting another living person and talking with them about our experience as amputees, the Lord has a funny way of answering prayers. Through Antoinetta’s writings, I have gained a deeper appreciation for my life as an amputee and my hope is that just like Venerable Antoinetta, every step that I take is an act of love.
HIS WORD CHANGES LIVES
God is speaking to you through His Word. In this personal study, you will learn to hear God's voice by reading slowly and praying deeply.
Patricia Valderrama hails from the big state of Texas with a degree in Communication Studies from the University of Texas at Austin (hook 'em horns). When she was a freshman in college, she started her own personal blog, All Things Patricia. It has since grown as a way for her to connect with others and share the Catholic faith from the perspective of a college student and now a young professional. She often calls herself the "biggest liturgical year B fan" and when she's not working, she's planning her next trip. She credits the friendships she made in college as the anchor for her growing deeper in her faith, especially their emphasis on the Holy Hour/Eucharistic Adoration.
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