He said to them in reply, “O faithless generation, how long will I be with you? How long will I endure you? Bring him to me.” They brought the boy to him. // Mark 9:19-20
“It’s all my fault,” I cry to my husband and parents one evening. Words rarely spoken aloud, but often whispered to my soul in my darkest moments, I admitted my deep fears to my family. My parents were visiting, and, over dinner, I shared my concerns about one of my sons. He had been struggling in school with emotional regulation, frustrated outbursts, reading, writing, and class disruptions.
This son has always been a highly sensitive child with big feelings. He has an infectious laugh and is empathetic, athletic, and kind. But he can also scream for hours and has difficulty processing his big feelings. Some days he thrives with self-regulation and emotional control, and other days we struggle through each moment. He is my heart walking around the outside of my body. But it is hard at times.
Lately, these struggles have been affecting his access to education. My mom helped me draft an email to the school requesting a special education evaluation, and, over dinner, I shared the school’s response to get the process started.
But the lies of the evil one whispered to my heart—it’s your fault, you have failed as a mother—weighed heavy on me that evening. It’s those what-if thoughts in the middle of the night that haunt me. What if I did something differently, what if I got him help sooner, what if I didn’t have that emergency surgery during my pregnancy with him, what if I was more present?
But my family reminded me of the truth that he is a great kid who may need extra support. We are advocating for him and getting him the resources he needs. Jesus says, Bring him to Me. He dispels the lie that we must do things alone. He walks with us during these challenges. There is grace in the suffering.
Sister, bring your worries to the foot of the Cross today. Bring them all to Him. He’s waiting with open arms.
Dr. Samantha Aguinaldo-Wetterholm is a wife and mom to four little ones and practices dentistry at a public health community center for low income families in the Bay Area, California. She (unashamedly) thinks ice cream is its own food group and does not leave the house without wearing sparkly earrings. She was a contributing author to All She Had. and our children’s devotional prayer book called Rise Up. Find out more about her here.
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