I was happily married at age 24 to my college sweetheart, Nathan Trapuzzano, on May 11, 2013. We met through FOCUS at Ball State University and our faith was always a stronghold in our relationship. Three months after our wedding, we found we were expecting our first child--a daughter--who was due May 7, 2014. On the morning of April 1st, 2014, I found myself suddenly widowed when my husband went out for his daily morning walk and never came home. He had been shot and killed just blocks from our home. I buried him on April 5th and, then, three weeks later gave birth to our daughter, Cecilia Marie Trapuzzano, on April 25th. The loss of my husband at the hands of another man has caused emotional devastation, yet God has been my anchor. Through my faith and the support of many family, friends, and even strangers, I have found the courage and strength to find joy in my daughter and help my heart heal and find forgiveness. The following is my Victim Impact Statement given at Nathan's murderer's trial: Your Honor, I am Jennifer Ann Trapuzzano, the widow of Nathan Benjamin Trapuzzano, and mother to his only child, Cecilia Marie Trapuzzano. I stand before you today representing the multitude of lives that have been effected due to the events of April 1st, 2014. On that day, we lost a wonderful man who was a husband, brother, son, grandson, uncle, nephew, friend, and soon to be daddy. Although I cannot address every person’s life who was affected due to the poor choices made that morning, I want to express the effects that I have personally witnessed and felt in my own life. There is no way that one can ever prepare themselves for this. Most believe that it will never happen to them. I was one of those people until Simeon Adams murdered my husband. Nathan was the greatest person. He was not a perfect person and never claimed to be, but you always knew where he stood, what was right, and what he believed. I never went a day doubting his love. He would always tell me he loved me every night before bed, every morning, and every time we went separate ways. He believed in helping others and often would get up early on Saturday, his only day to sleep in, to pray outside the abortion clinic. He was the greatest of persons. And there will always be a Nathan-sized hole in my heart and life. I stand before you today, a broken person, who has lost every sense of normality— A person who grieves the loss of Nathan, not only for myself, but for our daughter Cecilia, our unborn children, and for the world that has no idea what a wonderful person they are missing. Simeon stole not only the life of Nathan, but the normalcy, peace, stability, sanity, and ability to sleep, of an entire family and community. I expected to live my entire life with Nathan, we loved each other so, and we were truly soul mates. Now every day and every night I cannot escape the reality and accompanying grief that my happy, caring, and loving husband, the father of our daughter, is gone. The impact of his death on our family is profound. He was the family caretaker and leader, and I have felt less than adequate in trying somehow to fill his role. Just prior to his murder there was great excitement in our family. We were preparing for the birth of our daughter, Cecilia Marie, due May 7, 2014, just over a month away. We were also to celebrate our first wedding anniversary on May 11, 2014. I had just celebrated my 25th birthday on March 17th and still remember blowing out the candles, wishing this would be the best year, yet all the while knowing I didn’t even have to wish it because I knew it was going to be great. Only two short weeks later, Nathan’s death devastated our family. The fact that he never lived to enjoy and feel the excitement of becoming a father has added to our emotional stress and devastation. I cannot find the words (if there are any) to explain the devastation and mixture of feelings that I felt when I knew he hadn’t come home from his morning walk. I recall running outside, desperately calling his name, and walking the same route he always took. The memories still rush at me— the disbelief— and then the sudden reality of pain that shook me to my core and crushed my heart. It constantly haunts me that at the time of Nathan’s death, I was not there to comfort him or share last goodbyes— to at least be sure he did not feel alone. The horrific drive to the hospital was filled with feelings of disbelief mixed with pleading to God to save my loving spouse. My worst fears were realized when they told me they were bringing in the coroner and needed someone to identify the body. I was incapable of doing so, and had my father and friend act in my place. My worst fear was confirmed by my crying father. My mind did not want to believe this; I was confused and numb. My life was shattered. My thoughts immediately went to our unborn child. I needed to do everything in my power to keep our Cecilia safe and healthy. She instantly became my lifeline, my reason for surviving. But I now had to face the world without the love and care of my devoted husband and Cecilia without her father’s care, guidance, protection and love, a love that can never be replaced – a totally unconditional love which is so precious today. I will never forget that first night. There was not much sleep that night and for a number of nights thereafter. I continue to have sleeping problems and lie awake many nights. I continually wake hoping that this tragedy has been a very bad dream, not wanting to accept the reality that we have lost him forever. The days following his death feel like a blur. His mother organized the funeral and service and helped me in the decisions that had to be made. I was not capable of organizing everything myself as I was still in a state of shock, numbness and confusion. Following the funeral, as the visits of family and friends became fewer, I had more time to think about the specific circumstances and consider how best to come to terms with this enormous tragedy. I realized that my life, had changed forever. I now had to face the world without the love and care of my devoted husband, and Cecilia had to face it without her father’s care, guidance, protection and love, a love that can never be replaced – a totally unconditional love which is so precious today. Three short weeks later I would deliver our baby girl into this world, this same world that took her father away from us. I cannot express how bitter I feel that what was supposed to be the most joyful day of my life was tainted with such pain and grief because he was not there to share it with me. I found myself as the sole parent which was not something I had ever prepared myself for. He and I had made these plans together. We had chosen her name, decorated her nursery, and prepared ourselves to become parents – together. Since his death, I find myself so often feeling incredibly lost and unable to readjust to a new plan, a plan that he cannot be a part of any longer. I no longer can enjoy our long and meaningful talks that we both enjoyed immensely, and enjoy together the plans we had made for the future. The impact is only deepened as I realize so many other aspects of life Cecilia and I will miss sharing with Nathan and things she will not have the joy of experiencing with her beloved father such as her baptism, her first words, her first steps, her first day of school, her first school dances, her first dates, sporting events, and his walking her down the aisle on her wedding day. I still recall him telling her in the womb every night “I love you baby girl”— words she will never hear again. She will never know his voice, or see his face in a crowd watching over her. She will only know him through stories and photographs. This is often the most devastating thing of all, that my darling daughter lost her father before she ever got the chance to know him. She calls out “dada” when she sees his picture and she kisses his face in a frame; this is the only version of him she will ever know. He will never get to teach her the worth of a true Godly man. He told me over and over again how important fathers are in the family unit. What a cruel twist of fate that his own child should have to grow up without hers. I have realized that we are all privileged to have had Nathan for the short time we had him. I tell my Cecilia every day that her father loves her. I know even when we miss Nathan that we are lucky – lucky that he was such a wonderful and a God-filled example to us. We are lucky that we are able to miss him so much because we knew his love and loved him in return. But this also highlights the impact of our loss. My life stopped on April 1st, 2014. I have been shocked to the core of my being. I feel battered and bruised, never whole again without him. I can no longer live an ordinary life and my heart suffers from the deepest wound— a wound from which, it will never recover. I was his wife for just over 10 months and then he was taken so suddenly from my life. The impact of Nate’s murder has been catastrophic. The loneliness and sadness I feel is enormous. Nathan embodied everything I could ever ask for in a spouse. He had an unshakeable sense of faith and family and unquenchable love for life. Now, as I go through the worst time in my life, the person whose passion, intelligence and strength got me through all my trials before is no longer there to help me with this struggle. What was stolen from me on April 1st 2014 was love, my best friend and my entire word. What was stolen from us was our future, our unborn children, and our lives together. The emotional impact is huge. I suffer from insomnia, anxiety, panic attacks, and I now look at the world differently. I have nightmares of his terror that morning and all that he would have gone through. I wake up petrified and uncertain if my loved ones are still breathing. I hesitate to leave my home because home is where I feel safe, the rest of the world has become a foreign battleground, with evil around every corner, waiting to take its next victim. I have had to move from the home we shared, given its proximity to where his death occurred and the sudden nature of finding myself a single parent. The pain of not being able to tell Nathan that I loved him in his final moments, the knowledge that those last moments were terrifying and painful, and the knowledge that with his final walk he had crossed paths with evil haunts me every day. Most of all, I miss Nathan. I miss waking to him making me breakfast in bed. I miss lazy afternoons in the sunshine, making plans, laughing with him, and sharing my life with him. I miss his insight, fun and wit, his huge smile and warm embrace. I think of him every second of every day and I think of the pain of never being able to laugh with him again. I think of the waste of a brilliant mind and a beautiful soul at the hands of another human being. I think of how in love we were and of how much I’ve lost and how much of my life and dreams were built around him. I am half a person because of this crime. I can never forget what was done to him. I come across ordinary young couples or young families and they are so happy and normal. It’s what we should have had. Seeing them is like so many stab wounds as they remind me of the life we would have shared together, but which, has been so cruelly taken away. I now have to try and rebuild a new life and even the thought of that just makes me so sad. I have been given a life sentence. Simeon Adams has been sentenced to 55 years. 55 years will never give Nathan back to us. It will never mend my broken heart. It will never give Cecilia the chance to know her father. However, I come here today not to plead for more time, but to speak of forgiveness. These next few words were spoken by Father Roberts at Nathan’s funeral. But they are words that I full-heartedly stand by and mean when I say: I forgive, because Nathan Trapuzzano was a man who knew from his head to his toes that he was a sinner who was loved and forgiven by God. He wanted everyone he met to know the same love and forgiveness. I believe that he still does. Nathan would have wanted everyone here to know something in our bones. Each one of us here is loved with an infinite, personal and unconditional love by a merciful God. There is nothing that we can do that God will not forgive. We can refuse to accept that mercy, but God will never stop extending it. God loves each one of us more than we can ever know. He wants nothing more than for us to return to Him and let Him fix His merciful eyes on us and say, “You are my beloved son, you are my beloved daughter, in whom I am well-pleased.” He wants to run out to meet us just as we decide to come back to Him, to embrace us and to shower us with kisses. This is true no matter how grievous our sins are. We cannot be certain exactly what was going through Nathan’s mind in the last moments of his life. But as his wife, his soul mate, his beloved, I believe that he would have desired to do God’s will with all his heart, just as he sought to do throughout the entire time that I knew him. For myself, I have little doubt that as his soul drew near to his particular judgment on Tuesday morning, perhaps even after he had passed out of consciousness, Nathan forgave his murderer. That was the kind of man that I knew him to be. And while 55 years will never give us back Nathan, forgiveness is what I offer Simeon today. - Jennifer Trapuzzano With special thanks to Father Roberts for delivering such an open and beautiful message on forgiveness that I hope to embody and we all can learn from. Jennifer Trapuzzano is a 26-year old widow and mother to 15-month old Cecilia. She is working hard to complete her Masters as a Physician Assistant. She has found healing after the murder of her husband in her Catholic faith and through writing at her blog, A Love So Strong.

I cringed when I saw her wiggling in her chair in the restaurant. “Hey,” I whispered, “do you need to go to the bathroom?” She wrinkled up her nose, as I knew she would. “I already go-ed.” I tried to subdue the growing frustration in my head. I bit my lip and sternly and coolly said, “Let’s go to the potty... right now.” Cue the dramatic crying, the stomping, the protesting. She knew she did something wrong, and I probably embarrassed her. Of course, a four-year-old can’t really process those emotions that well. Thus, tears. Back in the car, I buckled her baby brother first. The lateness of the day was made apparent by his tired whining. Let’s just get everyone home and in bed as soon as possible, I thought. By the time I had coaxed little baby’s flailing arms through the straps of his car seat, she still had not buckled herself. “You have to the count of three to buckle yourself, and then I will do it for you.” The annoyance from her “accident” was quite evident in my voice. Finally my impatience, coupled with her grand frustration, bubbled over. I tugged at the car seat straps while she swatted my hands and wiggled her legs, trying to prevent me from reaching the buckle. I gritted my teeth, trying not to completely lose it. I put my face right into hers, holding her wrist, all the while repeating, “Stop it, stop it, stop it.” Customers in the parking lot witnessed everything. I was so embarrassed. Somehow, she gave up the fight. I finished buckling her and drove home, fuming. I was mad at her for causing a scene, and at myself for not being able to handle it. No one said a word, whether it was out of the tension, exasperation, maybe even mere tiredness, or a combination of the three. Nevertheless, the car ride gave us each some time to calm down. When we got home, I unbuckled her and mustered up a much warmer and approachable voice, “Look. You made two mistakes tonight. Now is your chance to make them right. Your first mistake was not using the bathroom when you should have. We can make that right with a quick tubby. The second mistake was to scream and hit me when I tried to buckle you in. You can make that right by saying sorry. So what do you say?” She had her tear-smeared face down while I gave my explanation, but when I put the question out there, she seemed a little surprised and perked up a bit, as if she realized that a simple apology was all there was to fixing a wrong. “Sorry,” she mumbled and sobbed. I helped her out of the car after a great bear hug and encouraged her to head upstairs for the bath. The rest of the night she was quick to respond to the bedtime routine and more than happy to help with her baby brother. Forgiveness had released her and she beamed in her freedom. And her willingness to help and take care of her bedtime obligations was her affirmation to me that she had forgiven me for my impatience and shortness. Kids need to know that they are loved, and demonstrating forgiveness confirms that love. Without a forgiving hug, a child will wallow in their own self-pity until they start to believe that somehow, they became “a bad kid”. Forgiveness gives a child closure. I doubt her misbehavior would have magically ended had I maintained the stern face and cold demeanor. Give kids a way to make it right, because the freedom of forgiveness is incomplete without it. A punishment alone teaches a child that the mistake is bad. But no consequence at all dismisses the misbehavior and eliminates the responsibility. The “making it right” strategy gave my daughter an exit for the shame of her mistake. It channeled her stubborn independence so that she could take care of what she could control. In short, she knew she was forgiven, and she was able to move on. Getting a kid to say “I’m sorry” is not all that difficult, but having them appreciate the meaning behind the words is the tricky part. For them to fully comprehend their responsibility and take control of the mistake, they have to know forgiveness. Where there is love, they will be more willing and eager to “make it right”. Do you know you are forgiven, or do you still hold on to your guilt, like the child who continues to commit the same misbehaviors? Do you assume responsibility for your actions, or do you avoid thinking about it, uttering a meaningless “sorry” as a jaded and aloof kid? In our own grappling with sin, let us never forget, the battle has been won. Our sins were nailed to a cross. Let us serve Him then, and “make it right”, not because His sacrifice was insufficient, but because our love and gratitude for Him is abundant. For when we start to comprehend the immense love and forgiveness of Christ, the “make it right” desire bubbles over, and we beam like a preschooler eager to show her mom how well she brushed her teeth. [bctt tweet="In our own grappling with sin, let us never forget, the battle has been won."] photo by Corynne Olivia Kim is a former marathon runner and high school French teacher turned a Catholic wife and stay-at-home mother of four littles all under the age of 5.

Today we are talking about THY WILL BE DONE. This is how Christ taught us to pray in the words of the Lord's Prayer and the example He gives throughout His entirely earthly ministry. Learning to abandon ourselves to God's will for our own lives, as Christ did in His earthly life, will surely move us all the more quickly on the path of sanctity. You can find all the themes here. photo by Corynne Olivia Photography Welcome to the #BISsisterhood link-up. Every Thursday, we get together as one community to share our hearts. Here's how you can participate: Link-up a post that goes with the weekly theme. Share your thoughts of the theme on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook using #BISsisterhood so we can see each other's posts. Comment below with your thoughts on the prompt. Basically, let's talk to each other. Remember to use #BISsisterhood so we can all communicate well with each other out in the social media world. [bctt tweet="The #BISsisterhood link-up is where it's at. I just added my post here:"] Here is the button to our link-up that you are more than welcome to place on your blog, share on your social media, and/or save for a rainy day. An InLinkz Link-up

Here we are halfway through the middle of July already, and I never made a single resolution for 2015. Truthfully, I'm not much for making resolutions at the start of a new year. Make 'em and break 'em is usually my mode of operation, and it gets to be a bit depressing. So why bother? But this year is different. This year, the Lord is tugging at my heart, ever so gently, to step out of my comfort zone and to move forward. Closer, just a little bit, to holiness and to Him. So, in lieu of resolutions, this year there will be small steps forward, toward virtue. First on the list: the virtue of abandonment. Sister Genevieve of the Holy Face, who was both the blood sister of St. Therese as well as her sister in the Carmel, wrote that their beautiful mother, who is now Blessed Zelie Martin, lived by the absolute, unwavering conviction that “God governs all things, that He has a particular love for us, and that whatever He does is well done.” The virtue of abandonment. This is the virtue that Sister Genevieve remarked was Blessed Zelie’s defining characteristic. This virtue of radical trust, of deep and desperate faithfulness, of clinging to the unshakable truth that God is good and that everything He wills or allows in my life – the beautiful and joyful along with the painful and the stretching beyond what I think I can bear – will work together for my salvation. It’s a virtue that I’ve never possessed, and what’s worse, one that I’ve never even really sought after. Just typing the word abandonment sends a little shudder through this strong-willed, plan-it-out, perfectionist-prone girl. What? Let go of my plans? Relinquish my dreams and ideals for the future? Lay aside my need to control every aspect of my life? And what about suffering? When I make plans for my life, I usually make it a rule to forego most major varieties of pain, woe, and hardship. But if I hand over control to God, if I open my heart to receive whatever He wants to give me, there will probably be a good amount of suffering. Just look at the lives of the Saints. All of that might be ok for Zelie – she was so holy and her daughter was St. Therese!– but it sounds way too demanding for a “normal” person like me, just trying to live out marriage and family life here in the trenches. Wait a minute. As much as I’d like to give myself a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card on this one, I don’t think that would go over well if I make it to Heaven. “Lord, I love You and I know that You’re God, but... I just didn’t trust You enough to give you control. Sorry, but I really didn’t ever master that annoying virtue of abandonment.” But the truth of the matter is, if anyone had reason to doubt the goodness of God’s will and to give herself a “pass” on practicing abandonment, it was Zelie. She bore nine children, three of whom died in infancy, and another at the age of five. She was continuously full of anxiety over the health of her five remaining children, who were often sick when they were young. In her prime, as she was raising her daughters and running her business and building her domestic church, she developed breast cancer. The progression of her illness was extremely painful and debilitating, and although she prayed for a miracle of healing for the sake of her family, she knew death was likely imminent. Yet through all of this suffering, she faithfully and patiently accepted God’s will for her life, and even sang His praises. Why? Because she knew beyond any doubt that God loved her. He loved her. As a father loves his children, so our God cares for us, deeply and intimately. Zelie wrote this in a letter to her brother: “When I think of what the good God, in whom I placed all my confidence... has done for me and my husband, I cannot doubt but that His divine Providence watches over His children in a particular way.” Sister Genevieve remarked that “it was this assurance of invincible, even audacious confidence towards our Father in Heaven, that sustained her in her many trials.” Blessed Zelie truly was extraordinary in this heroic confidence and holy abandonment with which she daily lived out her vocation (and consider how this heroism must have inspired holiness in her daughter Therese, who became the “greatest saint of modern times"). What if the same loving God to whom Zelie abandoned herself wants to make this heroic confidence a reality in my life as well – if only I would cast aside my desire to hold the reigns, and open myself up to Him? What if I were to place all of my plans – from the loftiest to the smallest, from how I want to change the world, to what I want to do with my “free” time while the kids nap today – into the hands of my loving Father, and let them go? What if I were to believe that He knows every fiber of my being, He knows the inner workings of my heart, He understands my longings even more than I do myself – and He is asking me to live by the conviction that His love is greater than my fears? What if I were to repeat, with every beat of my heart, “Whatever He does is well done,” until it became a truth ingrained in my soul, deep and unshakable, as God has always wanted it to be? [bctt tweet="Whatever He does is well done."] And what if, at the end of a life lived in holy abandonment, I can joyously enter Heaven and kneel before Him, and with a heart already full of Him and not of myself, I can hear Him say, “Well done”? Whatever He does is well done. photo by Corynne Olivia {Editor's note: The canonization of Blessed Zelie and her husband, Louis, will take place during the Synod on the Family in October this year. They are the first couple to be canonized together, and they have been chosen as they are an 'extraordinary witness of conjugal and familial spirituality’.} Lydia is a happy wife, a busy mama of three adorable littles, and a two-time overcomer of PPD. She is on a mission to offer solidarity and support to postpartum mamas. You can follow her at Flourish in Hope.

Well, hello there. My name is Siobhan, and I am a lifestyle and wedding photographer who has a heart for people and their stories. These days, in the midst of so much communication, I feel like many of us can feel oh-so-isolated. This is why the Blessed is She community is so amazing--it's a place where strong Catholic women can come together and share each other’s prayers, successes, sufferings, and joys. We can build each other up and continually remember that we are not doing this alone. That is why I decided to make it my mission to share the stories of YOU--the women who make up the kingdom of God. I am going to be sharing little peeks into the lives of Catholic women, who just like you, are trying to do their best. This is the Sisterhood Campaign. This is a reminder to you that we can do it together. [bctt tweet="This is the Sisterhood Campaign. This is a reminder to you that we can do it together."] Brigette Becker: New Orleans, Louisiana Oh my goodness. This woman is amazing. I was a little nervous to sit down and talk with her because this was my first official interview, but she immediately put me at ease. She is kind, warm-hearted, gentle, and full of laughs. We got to talk about Jesus over some coffee (her) and brownies (me). Could you describe your faith to me? I would say it’s a continual conversion of the heart through the Lord. It’s a part of your whole life with moments of conversion--both little and big--those change your heart in ways that make you stronger. The Lord knows my heart and definitely knows that those small moments of conversion are the areas in which I need him the most. How would you define beauty? One of those things that is so transcendental. Totally from the Lord and absolutely something that is within because look who we are made by; we are made by beauty himself. Beauty is ultimately grounded in the Lord. Three reasons why you think you’re beautiful: 1. Eyes: they are truly a gateway to the soul. 2. My personality: It makes me who I am. If I do not believe that about myself then I don’t really believe that I am beautiful. 3. My smile: Not just my smile in the physical sense, also what is conveyed by my smile--joy and happiness in my heart. What do you admire most in a friendship? Honesty. Because so much else flows from being vulnerable and open with another, and especially the gifts of understanding, loyalty, and, the realization that we are not struggling alone. What do you think it means to be in a sisterhood and why it is important? Well, I currently am a student at Franciscan University and live in a household with 40 other women. We have three tenants we live by: unity, prayer, humility and I really think that those virtues are the most important things to live by in a sisterhood. We must build each other up in a humble way, really communicate and speak openly and honestly with one another, and see Jesus in ourselves and everyone else on the good and the bad days. These bonds of Catholic sisterhood are almost inseparable because they are founded in the Lord. You must let these beautiful women that surround you change your life. Make sure you have amazing women in your life. To sit with someone and to automatically fall more in love with Christ because of their presence: body, mind, and spirit. These are the women that know your heart, can tell you like it is, and bring you closer to the Lord. What advice would you give to your younger self? I would say don’t worry and trust in the Lord. Take the time to take care of yourself and really care for yourself so you can better care for other people. What do you think is your biggest struggle with your faith? I think I am the biggest struggle sometimes. I have been and still am working on really giving my life over to the Lord and trusting in his plan. What do you think other women need to hear? Know where your beauty lies. Even more importantly, know that the women around you know where their beauty lies as well. Its easy to be jealous of other women, compare ourselves a lot, but we must be thankful for someone else’s beauty and praise the Lord for them instead of making judgments or speaking harshly. We must continually build each other up in a sisterhood. What are little things you do to continue building your faith? I find it a struggle to read scripture daily, so I signed up for the daily readings email for USCCB and read the reading for the day even before my feet hit the floor. It is a great way for me to start my day in a centered way. 5 random facts about you: 1. I was homecoming queen for the whole state of Louisiana 2. I am a size 9 in shoes. 3. I’ve been to Europe. 4. Food: anything southern. I don’t like celery. 5. I have hiked in the Italian and German Alps. 6. I can speak a little bit of a lot of languages. What about you? What do you think women need to hear? photos and brilliant idea courtesy of Siobhan Lorraine Photography

My Bible is a mess. Or Bibles, I should say. Each and every one highlighted and dog-eared, their margins fat and inky, smudged in thought. See, I’ve always believed that a thing must be used up hard to be made Real. Do you remember the story of The Velveteen Rabbit, the little plush bunny whom love and tragedy made Real? I can’t get enough of this bittersweet concept: a love that wears us down to lumpy, threadbare nakedness…and the transformation that follows. Nobody was ever transfigured through preservation. Not nobody, not no how. We were not meant to be museum pieces, our hearts kept under glass–that’s no way to grow Real. And yet how many times do we try to hold firm, petrified of stepping into the strip-down slip-stream of Love? That much? Do I really need to love that much–to be loved that much to be transformed? It was Blessed Mother Teresa who said it best. “I’m a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who’s sending a love letter to the world.” Not a builder, not a high-power exec. Not even a starving artist. A worn-out, worn-down, used-up little pencil writing someone else’s love letter to the world. And is there irony that that’s a life lived well? That this is (in the end) the only thing that’s Real. All the rest of it, it’s only smoke and mirrors after all, gone in a final, bloodless heartbeat. The only thing we take when it’s all over is the Love that used us up. [bctt tweet="The only thing we take when it’s all over is the Love that used us up."] We do know something about that, don’t we? These hearts of ours, they’ve already known too much of being used. We know what it is to be worn ragged and tossed aside. The world tells us to “take care” of ourselves. To guard, protect. To turn the other cheek right round and bolt before it’s slapped yet again. Well, who can argue with the logic? We all need protection, after all. But not from Love. [bctt tweet="We all need protection, after all. But not from Love."] This is different. Dear heart, this is Love that wears down (yes), but He’ll never leave us lying in the dust. This Love reaches down to dust and draws it up in gentle hands so sure, to form us brand-new, sinless, perfect, flawless, and gives us the very breath of Heaven. This is the way to become human, this the only transcendence. There is nothing more Real. But can we trust the transformation? Can we love beyond the hurt? Could we courageously sacrifice ourselves to lumpy, threadbare nakedness? Love demands one crazy, death-defying Leap. [bctt tweet="Love demands one crazy, death-defying Leap."] Will you take it with me? It’s easier to jump holding hands. These weary feet, these calloused hands, the heart-scars we lay bare because we wouldn’t cauterize with bitterness–this is the beginning, and we’re making it together. This is how we get holy. This is magic. And even if it’s scary, isn’t this what we want? I know I want a faith that’s Real–that transcends my shabby, threadbare patches and turns me into beautiful right in the midst of rot. And if I’m terrified, well, isn’t it all part of the adventure? I’ll walk out on the tight-rope, knife-edge wire of hope and trust that, in the end, it all works out. This is why I take pen to paper, chicken-scratch the love letter to shreds. I highlight hope to help me through the hard times. I press the corners down to remind myself to stay strong. To let Him use me up and wear me out. I don’t want to curl up, content with a mummified heart too terrified to break. Nobody wants to be broken, but I know that I need to be sharpened, cracked open, and spilled out in all my imperfection. The dog-eared love letter says it over and over: this–this sharpened pencil-life worn down to the barest of threadbare nubs–this is the only way to holy. Holy is you and me, unafraid and unprotected by any shield but faith. [bctt tweet="Holy is you and me, unafraid and unprotected by any shield but faith."] It’s holding tight to promises we dog-eared in the dark with questions still ringing in between our ears. It’s the wild, whirlwind leap into the blackness to love beyond the rational, beyond what we were capable of being because somewhere, somehow in this uncertain wearing-out to dust, we trust we’ll feel His hands reshaping, remaking us into something Real. photo by Corynne Olivia Bethany is a mama to 4 sweet blessings + smitten wife to one amazing man. By God's good grace, she's striving for sane just east of Seattle. She homeschools, home births, and homebakes humble pie year-round. She's a little crunchy around the edges, but it's all good. She writes left-handed + types with a babe-in-arms.

Today we are talking about MAKING TIME. Our priorities become clear when we look at what we choose to give our time to in our day-to-day lives. What is important to you to make time for? What should you make more time for? You can find all the themes here. We are happy to announce today the themes for the month of August! They are: August 6: TRANSFIGURATION August 13: SAYING GOODBYE August 20: DISCERNMENT August 27: POWER OF PRAYER Welcome to the #BISsisterhood link-up. Every Thursday, we get together as one community to share our hearts. Here's how you can participate: Link-up a post that goes with the weekly theme. Share your thoughts of the theme on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook using #BISsisterhood so we can see each other's posts. Comment below with your thoughts on the prompt. Basically, let's talk to each other. Remember to use #BISsisterhood so we can all communicate well with each other out in the social media world. [bctt tweet="The #BISsisterhood link-up is where it's at. I just added my post here:"] Here is the button to our link-up that you are more than welcome to place on your blog, share on your social media, and/or save for a rainy day.   An InLinkz Link-up

In order to make the house run and my sanity stay locked in place, I have systems and more systems. I have routines. I have check lists. I have long days here at the house. My husband has long office days, and a long commute home usually in poor conditions. Date nights are averaging once per year since breastfeeding babies, snow, deployments, and utter chaos are the norm. In all the daily hum-drum, our marriage was getting buried. How was I supporting my husband? Was he struggling? Some days, I really could not have told you where he was emotionally or where I was. I just knew we were not there together. We started praying together. It was a random new year's resolution to "pray more". I would whip out my tablet and find the daily reading or click on Divineoffice.org. He would join me every now and again mentioning that he enjoyed the decompression time. Eventually, it became a habit to find each other before bed and pray. It's funny how quickly those minutes added to our love for each other. Even after a rough day, we sought each other. I was more likely to think better of my husband's actions seeing them without a filter directed towards hurting me. My anger dissipated quicker knowing that he too was struggling. More and more time was stolen for each other. Those quiet subtle moments of prayer so much like Christ's were bringing us to truly becoming one. In Genesis, it is written: “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh” (2:24). The phrase "become one flesh" used to leave me feeling smothered. I felt that I was not enough alone--my wants, my desires, and my needs were being pushed aside. Now, I see that becoming one with my husband, spiritually, increases my capacity to be happy, contented, fulfilled. Christ gave me this man to teach me how to love more than myself. He gave me my husband in order for us to walk alongside each other into Christ's embrace. Often times, we hear about emotional intimacy or physical intimacy for our marriages, but what about the state of the spiritual intimacy in our marriage? We can learn a lot about our spouse from praying with them. In the sacrament of marriage, we are here to uplift, support, and lovingly challenge each other to holiness as we draw sanctifying grace. Finding those five or ten minutes, will lead to a deeper participation in the life God has planned for you as a couple. photo by Corynne Olivia Ashley is a stay at home mom and military wife who moves around with her husband of seven years. She love to chronicle the everyday adventures searching for grace amidst the chaos of four children, two dogs, a cat, and a training schedule.

Today we are talking about FREEDOM. "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand fast therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1 Christ died for our freedom -- He died so that we may be free from sin and free to choose what is good so that one day we may enjoy the joys of heaven! Where in your life are you grateful for the gift of FREEDOM? You can find all the themes here. Welcome to the #BISsisterhood link-up. Every Thursday, we get together as one community to share our hearts. Here's how you can participate: Link-up a post that goes with the weekly theme. Share your thoughts of the theme on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook using #BISsisterhood so we can see each other's posts. Comment below with your thoughts on the prompt. Basically, let's talk to each other. Remember to use #BISsisterhood so we can all communicate well with each other out in the social media world. photo by Madi Myers-Cook [bctt tweet="The #BISsisterhood link-up is where it's at. I just added my post here:"] Here is the button to our link-up that you are more than welcome to place on your blog, share on your social media, and/or save for a rainy day. An InLinkz Link-up

“The greatest trick that the devil ever pulled was convincing women that they looked better in their makeup.” // Mackelmore I’ve never had perfectly clear skin; therefore, I’ve done everything I can to strive for that perfection. Washing my face. Going to the dermatologist. Getting prescription after prescription. Benzoyl peroxide. Clean and clear. Proactiv. You name it; I’ve probably considered using it. I started using makeup in the 7th grade and it’s become a crutch ever since for pesky pimples which only ends up contributing more to the problem. One day, I got out of the shower and started looking at my skin. I had a few, new pimples and thought to myself, “I’m 19 years old and I’m seriously still self conscious about my skin? Well of course I am… acne was supposed to end AFTER puberty, right? Is Saint Rose playing a trick on me?” Saint Rose was a humble woman who chose to rub her face with pepper until it was red so that people would stop pursuing her. She had already given her heart to Jesus and had no desire to be admired in that way. I’m not Saint Rose, but I think what she was getting at was important. She knew she was beautiful and didn’t want to live her life in vain, so naturally she found the root of her vanity and avoided all sinful distractions. In a similar way, I knew I had to find the root of my vanity, too. Who cares if I had a few zits? After many frustrated phone calls with my mom complaining about how nothing ever works for me, I started thinking about my makeup. What if I didn’t wear it anymore? Staring in the mirror with my mascara in hand, I thought about it. I NEVER left the house without my mascara. Psh, over my dead body! It’s my staple makeup product. I LOVE my long eyelashes and it’s a total confidence booster. But what if I did something crazy? After 4-6 years of wearing it pretty much every day, what if I gave it up? The average person probably wouldn’t. But like Saint Rose, I was willing to give my heart to Christ, maybe not in the same way, but still significantly. I knew I had a problem when I would wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say, “Hmm…not good enough. Blush would make me look better. Maybe just a little lip gloss…that would do the trick.” But here’s the thing: It’s the work of the devil to be able to look at yourself straight in the eye and completely miss out on seeing all the hard work and time that God took in creating you. I think that far too many gorgeous women are missing out on noticing their innate God-given beauty, too. We’re missing out on seeing ourselves in His image and likeness, and for me, this needed to be corrected. So I gave up makeup for Lent. For 40 days I didn’t put anything artificial on my face. At first it was difficult because I was still having a tough time believing that I was beautiful without the foundation to cover up my “imperfections.” I still had difficult conversations on the phone with my mom. I had good days, I had bad days, but I ended up surprising myself. Overall, I felt fantastic. Sure, I would get a few pimples here and there. It was difficult to stare at them and not do anything to make myself believe that they’re not there, but then it became easier to actually embrace them. It became easier to love myself regardless of what was on the outside. I started to love myself for what was on the inside. I was becoming more authentically myself. Not far into Lent, I also started giving up straightening or curling my hair for long periods of time, too. I loved getting an extra 30 minutes in the morning to sleep in and then walk to the Chapel to say Morning Prayer with Jesus before my 8AM class. Nothing was more rewarding. I was becoming more spiritually-engaged and my heart felt less tied down to created things. I was focusing more on the here and now; rather than looking in every mirror I walked by to make sure that I still looked okay. I didn’t care what people thought. I knew that I was beautiful. I didn’t need anyone or anything to reaffirm within me what God had already said hundreds and hundreds of times to my soul. I wasn’t listening until now, but I’m sure glad that I did. And guess what else? My face cleared up like never before. For a majority of those 40 days I was glowing inside and out. I started to receive random compliments like, “Kait, you’re just so beautiful.” And also from people who knew my penance, “You never needed makeup to begin with,” or “If one person can pull off the ‘no makeup thing’ it’s you.” I really found Christ speaking to me in these people. My heart wasn’t chained down like it used to be. During Lent I went on a retreat and one of the verses that we meditated on was Isaiah 43. In Isaiah God speaks saying, “I have called you by name and you are mine…You are precious in my eyes and honored, and I love you.” What else do we really need? How much more affirmation can we receive? The God of the Universe does not need to be corrected when molding His beloved. He further goes on to say in Isaiah 45:11, “Shall the clay say to the potter, ‘what are you doing?...Do you question me about my children, and tell me how to treat the work of my hands?” Ladies, you heard our loving Father. We are the work of His hands. We are beautiful. We are precious. We are honored. And we are loved. Let no one tell you otherwise, especially not yourself. [bctt tweet="We are beautiful. We are precious. We are honored. And we are loved."] I pray that you may always look in the mirror knowing that you are a beautiful daughter of God regardless of how you look. Your so-called ‘imperfections’ do not define your worth. The one who has exalted you and has written your name in Heaven is the One that you should be listening to. Because after all, the enemy comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. (John 10:10) But Christ has come to reaffirm new life within us so that we may have it to the full. If you struggle with self-image even in the slightest and are dependent on makeup to fix what doesn’t need fixing, chances are you need to be reintroduced to your true beauty, too. Easter morning I put on mascara again, and I highly disliked the feeling because I could feel negative thoughts creeping back into my head that I hadn’t heard in over 40 days saying, “You look better now,” which in this context is a prime example of a thought that does not come from God. From this experience I realized many things, one of them being that in the future I will continue my daily routine without packing on the makeup. Getting at the root of my vanity and my sin ultimately freed me from hating myself, which is the exact thing the devil tries to do. He tries to get you to hate your beauty. He hates women and he hates our God-given beauty. I beg you, please don’t give in to his voice. Remember at the beginning when I said that I would do anything to strive for perfection in clear skin? I realized the trick. I’ve figured out the age-old mystery to acne. Here it is: I didn’t have to do anything. And truly, neither do you. You are made perfect. Simply be you. Rediscover how beautiful it is to know you. Be joyful in you. [bctt tweet="Simply be you. Rediscover how beautiful it is to know you. Be joyful in you."] I promise there’s nothing else more beautiful and cherished in God’s eyes. photo by Madi Myers-Cook Kaitlyn is a sophomore at Franciscan University in the Fall studying Theology. She has silly dance moves and is a big believer in God and iced caramel coffee. She loves to write, volunteer, and build up the kingdom of God in any way He sees fit. This post originally appeared on Catholicam Dominae.

Today we are talking about BAPTISM. Baptism is "the gateway to life in the Spirit". (CCC 1213) This gratuitous gift from God plunges us into the divine life, vivifying our souls with the gift of His grace. How has this gift touched your life? You can find all the themes here. Welcome to the #BISsisterhood link-up. Every Thursday, we get together as one community to share our hearts. Here's how you can participate: Link-up a post that goes with the weekly theme. Share your thoughts of the theme on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook using #BISsisterhood so we can see each other's posts. Comment below with your thoughts on the prompt. Basically, let's talk to each other. Remember to use #BISsisterhood so we can all communicate well with each other out in the social media world. [bctt tweet="The #BISsisterhood link-up is where it's at. I just added my post here:"] Here is the button to our link-up that you are more than welcome to place on your blog, share on your social media, and/or save for a rainy day. An InLinkz Link-up

Today we are talking about WORTH THE WAIT. "Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him." Psalm 37:7 Sometimes God asks us to be patient and wait. But is our waiting full of disappointment for what we don't have or full of hope for what is to come? You can find all the themes here. Welcome to the #BISsisterhood link-up. Every Thursday, we get together as one community to share our hearts. Here's how you can participate: Link-up a post that goes with the weekly theme. Share your thoughts of the theme on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook using #BISsisterhood so we can see each other's posts. Comment below with your thoughts on the prompt. Basically, let's talk to each other. Remember to use #BISsisterhood so we can all communicate well with each other out in the social media world. photo by Morgan Sessions [bctt tweet="The #BISsisterhood link-up is where it's at. I just added my post here:"] Here is the button to our link-up that you are more than welcome to place on your blog, share on your social media, and/or save for a rainy day. An InLinkz Link-up

I can wait to get married. There I said it. As a 20 year old woman in college, I watch as many of my peers happily get hitched or find their beloved. And yet, here I am, at 20 years old, boyfriend-less with no future husbands in mind to even consider. Never been on a date, never even been kissed. Yet, I decided for myself a long time ago that whenever I did start dating, I would date with marriage in mind. I was never one for dating for the fun of it. I saw from my early teens a lot of relationships take off, and I saw at lot of them crash and burn. And while I know dating itself will never be the perfect experience, I am willing to wait. For when my attraction for another begins to transform into a lifestyle of learning to love fearlessly. For when my heart is not governed by lust but by love. Yes, I am willing to wait. Here's the thing about waiting: it will cost you. I'll be the first to say it. There are going to be days when you want to just settle for any random person that walks in front of you. Or days when you just want to write your number on business cards and stick them onto the cars parked on your college campus. You will get frustrated. You will never speak of the cursed "S" word that Beyonce so blatantly sings about. You will roll your eyes at your peers' PDA with their boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse. You will list reasons of why you are single, convincing yourself that God must have forgotten to create special someone for you. You will rant, you will scream, you will cry, you will feel miserable. Am I painting a pretty picture yet for you? But at the end of the day, though, I have come to realize that this is a small, small cost. When I think of dating with marriage in mind, I think of the Christ and the Cross. The beauty of marriage is that it symbolizes the love Christ has for the Church, a love that is unconditional. [bctt tweet="The beauty of marriage is that it symbolizes the love Christ has for the Church: unconditional."] His love was so deep that He risked Himself for us. He loved us with an absence of fear and a presence of joy. It cost Him everything, and He gave it all willingly. This image is exemplified in the sacrament of marriage. When a couple says the words "I do," what they are truly saying is "I love you, I give myself to you, for as Christ loves His Church, I love you." This right here is a beautiful statement, one where the husband and wife devote themselves not just to each other, but to Christ; they boldly proclaim they will not FEAR to love. That's some powerful stuff there. For that very reason, I do not take dating and marriage lightly. If I am to someday get married (my mom has her fingers crossed here), I hope that I will not settle, but rather that I will fight for the best love that God has for us, a love that is limitless and is so strong that it will risk everything to love another. Because that is the love of our Savior. [bctt tweet="I will not settle, but I will fight for the best love that God has for me."] And if the Sacrament of Marriage, and the act of dating is supposed to lead us to love -- this being the greatest love -- then I can wait. I won't rush into blinded lust. Like fine wine, I will let this love get better and better with each coming year. I will love myself, love others around me, love Christ, and in doing so my love will attract the greatest love of another. I will wait. And though it will cost me to wait, I will remain firm because in waiting, my desire to love another will grow, and my heart will be strengthened. So future hubby whoever you are: I am waiting. Waiting with a joyful heart. photo by Susana Starbuck Vanesa is a Theology major with a Business minor at Providence College (Providence, RI). An avid coffee drinker and lover of all works concerning St. Thomas Aquinas, she is also a Youth Leader at St John the Baptist. She blogs at The King's Beloved.

I marry my fiancé, Steven, in 95 days. Wow. For part of our relationship, Steven and I lived in seperate states. I worked as a campus ministry intern in Virginia, while Steven was working as an accountant in Ohio. When I moved back to our lovely home state, many people assumed Steven and I would move in together. After all, we were pretty sure we were going to get married, so why not save on rent? We could spend this whole “getting to know you” process as roommates and figure out if we were really meant to be. Yet, for Steven and I, living together before we got married was not an option. Sure, I might have saved some rent money these past few months, but as we get ready to celebrate the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, we are realizing just how much we gained by waiting to share an address. Falling in love was beautiful. For the first few months of our relationship we were continually going on fun dates. He swept me off my feet at the Cleveland Art Museum, completely wooed me at the Cleveland Aquarium, and treated me like royalty at our dinner in Little Italy. For our first Valentine’s Day he even brought me chocolate-covered strawberries -- the way to my heart. Of course, the honeymoon stage eventually faded. Steven learned that although I look very clean and organized, it is just because I hide the mess in my closet. I am always early or on time, while Steven is always running a standard 10 minutes late. I learned that Steven is incredibly athletic and works out 5-6 times a week, while I would rather do a 30 minute exercise tape once every few weeks. These are just a sampling of the differences and weaknesses we have discovered in each other after our three years of dating. However, when Steven got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, I knew that he was choosing me — lack of fitness and messy closet included — and he knows that when I said “yes,” I was choosing him, even if that means that we might be a few minutes late when we leave the house. If we had already been living together, in the back of my mind I would wonder if Steven was asking me to marry him because he had gotten used to having me around. I would wonder if I said yes because I was afraid of being alone or having to open jars by myself. In 95 days, when I walk down the aisle, there will be no doubt in my my mind that Steven and I are freely choosing marriage not because we had settled in as roommates, but as two people who freely chose marriage as our vocation. Following the law of God is not always easy, but learning to practice this form of self-control before we marry has given me confidence in our ability to practice self-control within our marriage. When we are unable to be together for whatever reason — a retreat weekend or a work conference — we know the other is capable of being on their own, even if it is tough. Living apart gives us the freedom to have tough conversations: our plans for the future, how we will handle finances, our desire to have children, fears about marriage, and concerns for moving in together. The odds are ever in our favor. The divorce rate is much lower for those who choose not to cohabitate prior to marriage. And as someone preparing to walk down the aisle, I am confident that Steven and I are seeking lifelong covenant, rather than simply a living arrangement. Come our wedding day, my life will no longer be just about me. It will be about the holiness of my spouse and any children God blesses us with. I am so grateful that Steven and I have already started to strive for holiness with the living arrangement we have chosen. We will continue the journey to Heaven for the rest of our married life. This might mean not fighting over messy closets or me being patient when Steven does not manage to get out of the house on time. However, I am confident that I have found the one whom I am willing to sacrifice these next seven months of high rent for, because he is worth every second of the wait. He is worth every struggle we will face in marriage, because I have found the one whom my soul loves. In three months, I will be able to call him my husband and my roommate. I cannot wait for both. Mary is passionately Catholic and madly in love with Jesus Christ, her fiancé, social justice, flowers, pictures of wheat, rain, Saint Faustina, and Dorothy Day. She is a Catholic Youth Minister striving for holiness.

Today we are talking about HEART. Passion, drive, love, life....a lot comes from this tiny organ (literally and metaphorically). You can find all the themes here. Welcome to the #BISsisterhood link-up. Every Thursday, we get together as one community to share our hearts. Here's how you can participate: Link-up a post that goes with the weekly theme. Share your thoughts of the theme on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook using #BISsisterhood so we can see each other's posts. Comment below with your thoughts on the prompt. Basically, let's talk to each other. Remember to use #BISsisterhood so we can all communicate well with each other out in the social media world. photo by Elissa Voss [bctt tweet="The #BISsisterhood link-up is where it's at. I just added my post here:"] Here is the button to our link-up that you are more than welcome to place on your blog, share on your social media, and/or save for a rainy day.   An InLinkz Link-up

Today we are talking about BEING LOVE. "At last I have found my vocation. In the heart of the Church, I will be Love!" // St. Therese of Lisieux Although we each have our own unique vocation, like St. Therese, we also are all commonly called to the vocation of LOVE. How does this play out in your life? You can find all the themes here. Welcome to the #BISsisterhood link-up. Every Thursday, we get together as one community to share our hearts. Here's how you can participate: Link-up a post that goes with the weekly theme. Share your thoughts of the theme on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook using #BISsisterhood so we can see each other's posts. Comment below with your thoughts on the prompt. Basically, let's talk to each other. Remember to use #BISsisterhood so we can all communicate well with each other out in the social media world. [bctt tweet="The #BISsisterhood link-up is where it's at. I just added my post here:"] Here is the button to our link-up that you are more than welcome to place on your blog, share on your social media, and/or save for a rainy day.   An InLinkz Link-up

I found him whom my soul loves. These words have been resounding in my heart and mind almost constantly over the last couple of weeks. // Let's rewind for a few moments, if you will, to Fall 2012. I had just graduated college, and had recently begun my first full-time job, as a paralegal at a law firm, although my degree is in psychology. My high school and college years were strung together by a common theme: "What am I doing?" All of my experiences in the short 22 years that I had been alive came to a head when I finally decided that I was brave enough to step outside of my comfort zone, to make the changes I knew I needed to make. I found myself in the confessional one September Saturday, and the very next day I was at a brand new church, ready to start totally new. I spent the next several months learning and growing and trying to figure out, "Now, what?" I had an excellent job, wonderful co-workers and more extra-curriculars than I had time for, even though they were mostly all church-related. My life had been on overdrive for the last four years I couldn't figure out how to slow down and just be still. I couldn't figure out what God was calling me to. I dare say that confusion in young people - young adults - is not uncommon. We are bombarded with so many options, so many opportunities and so much noise. It can often feel like the chaos of life is drowning out the whisperings of our Lord, and quite often, it does. I was having a hard time tuning those distractions out. [bctt tweet="It can feel like the chaos of life is drowning out the whisperings of our Lord, and often, it does."] One thing led to another and I ended up in the hands of an awesome spiritual director, Fr. Joe, who has been guiding me for almost two years through these distractions. // Fast forward to Fall 2014. I still had no idea, vocationally, what God was calling me to, but I did know one thing: God was calling me to something more. He was once more calling me out of my comfort zone, asking me to go beyond myself, to trust Him, and so I did. I took a leap of faith and applied for a job as the youth minister and pastoral assistant at my parish, a job I'm seriously unqualified for, except for my desire to serve. And apparently, that's all that God needed from me, my willingness to serve his children, to trust in him, because now I work where I worship, and it's all in his hands. // That brings us back to today. I took my first few days off from this new job of mine to go visit my best friends who just had their first baby, pray for them, and to spend some time relaxing, reflecting and praying at home. This is what I know, or don't know, and having been praying about during my vacation. I know that even though I still have no idea whether I'm called to religious life or married life, or even living an authentically single life, at this moment in time I'm exactly where I should be. [bctt tweet="Even though I don't know my vocation, at this moment in time I'm exactly where I should be."] I cannot envision working outside of the Church again. Fr. Joe says that some people can't do anything except work for God, which I feel is now me. I can't put into words the joy that fills my heart serving the parishioners and especially the youth of our small country parish. I know that when we sincerely approach God in prayer with an open heart and a willingness to trust, He always provides. He will never lead us astray. So even though I am still discerning, I know that when I hand it to Him, he will take my hand and lead me to Him. Have patience and trust in Him when you are uncertain and know that He is certain. // So as I came forward to receive the Eucharist at morning Mass a few days ago, as my heart rate increased and I got butterflies in my stomach, I realized that I truly have found Him whom my soul loves, and nothing could be better. [bctt tweet="I truly have found Him whom my soul loves, and nothing could be better."] photo by Madi Myers Cook Emily Kwiatkowski is a 24 year old youth minister and pastoral assistant discerning life and learning to love more each day.