I sit in the chapel and come undone, my small form huddled before the God of the Universe.
I’m physically exhausted from chronic illness attacks. I’m cradling deep wounds, fighting to recall my true worth after time spent with seemingly accomplished, put-together women. I’m desperate for a breather, knowing that as soon as I step out the door, my mission and vocation will resume their demands.
The Lord gently points out the enemy’s tricks, as old as time. He shows me my mission is just as vital as that of Saints Paul and Barnabas in today’s reading from Acts. Satan will attack my physical comfort. If I press on, he’ll go for my pride, whispering lies of my identity, entreating me with glory for my actions. If, like these great Apostles, I can resist and point to the Lord, the enemy will then hold out despair, hissing, “You’re too weak to manage all of this. You can’t make a difference. You’re so ordinary, insignificant.”
But my God makes me extraordinary. He says that with Him, I can. I might be beaten down—mentally, emotionally, physically—but for once, instead of hiding or trying to “fix” it myself, here I am, handing it to the Lord with brutal honesty, asking in exchange for more of His truth to fight the lies, more of His strength in my weakness.
As I brace myself to head back into the world and persevere in His mission, I draw my hand across my body—top to bottom, left to right—and a vision swims into view: the lines of the cross illuminated like a firefly in the night. Light extends to connect each point of the cross, and as I tentatively reach out to embrace it, I see that this shining cross is actually a great shield.
This cross, His cross that we take up—in reality, a shield! He is our living shield, here to protect and strengthen us against every attack and temptation.
Yes—in every battle, Mighty God goes before us. Not for our glory, but for His. Not to expend us, but to save us. Not defeatist, but always, to eternity, victorious.
My God makes me extraordinary. Click To TweetEncounter Our Lord in this spiritual warfare prayer today.
Megan Hjelmstad is a wife and mom 24/7 and an Army Reservist in her “spare” time. She is the Stories Manager for the Blessed is She Instagram account. She’s a bibliophile, tea drinker, sleep lover, and avid admirer of Colorado’s great outdoors. When the writing bug hits, you can find out more about her here.
I love this reflection! I so often feel this way; weak, even fake in my faith as if I am a lie. And yet I know how the Lord of all creation has used me time and again, I know of the times he spills out of my mouth or actions unbidden by me. I know I belong to him.
I love this Shield prayer!
Thank you so much for your beautiful words and for sharing your heart! Prayers for you!
How apropos, Megan: that as one of our country’s warriors, you saw God manifested as your shield! Courage, for God truly has made you extraordinary. Blessings to you and thank you for your service.
Thank you so much! It was such a beautiful consolation to receive from God in prayer.
I concur with Stephanie’s sentiments. What a beautiful and raw reflection, Megan. Blessings to you, your health, and your family. Thanks!
Thank you so much! I’m so grateful for the prayers!
Your words inspired me today. I woke up tired and broken. But it’s not about me is it? I will work through the pain in God’s honor. Thank You!
Praise God! The struggle definitely isn’t easy, but it’s so helpful to be reminded of how He makes it so worthwhile, right? Prayers!
I’m in this and feeling those exact feelings. Thank you for giving them words, and for the shield that protects me.
So sorry you are in it too but praise God for His strength and consolation! Many prayers!
This is so on point with what I have been experiencing the last few months. The more I insist that I am with the lord and will follow him the more attacks I get from Satan. It is exhausting, But I am not giving up. I really appreciate your words today as an affirmation of my journey and an encouragement for the road ahead.
Thank you! It’s so encouraging to know that we are not in it alone, all praise to God our help and our shield!
So beautiful. Catholic reflection at its best…. The image of drawing a shield about ourselves with the sign of the cross is powerful and I am so grateful that you shared it. God bless!
Thank you! It was such a gift of an image from God, so grateful that it can bless others too!