“But what comes out of the man, that is what defiles him. From within the man, from his heart, come evil thoughts, unchastity, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, licentiousness, envy, blasphemy, arrogance, folly.” // Mark 7:20-22
With shaky hands, I waited for the worship music to stir up enough noise before I bolted for the confessional. As the host of the worship night, my stomach tied itself in knots as I came to sit before the priest I had invited to minister to the other young adults, not me. Admittedly, I was supposed to be serving others, but I felt visceral desperation for mercy, to declutter all that was crowding my heart.
For months, I had felt my vision become increasingly jaded by pessimism, envy, pride, unforgiveness, and distrust. I witnessed evidence of my disintegration by the mess of my room, the unresponded-to emails, and the insecure lurking that flooded my screen time. It probably all started with one day where I allowed a small lie to feel at home in my heart, and soon, it bred others, until I accepted apathy as natural. Isn’t sin sneaky that way?
Today’s Gospel reminds us of a rather jarring truth. The first time I read this Gospel and skimmed that list, I truly thought to myself: I’m in the clear. This Gospel is not for me.
Sister, I had to stop in my tracks and ask myself how I could believe any part of Scripture is not for me, especially when it comes to examining my own heart and all of the ways that defiling impurity lives unchecked inside of me. I have to continue to ask the Lord to awaken my conscience and clarify my vision so that I can see all the ways my own heart is entertaining thoughts that are not of Him.
Lord, give us an urgency to be reconciled with You, that we would come to know and be liberated from all that keeps our heart from Your peace. Gift us with the humility to stay awake.Lord, give us an urgency to be reconciled with You. // Sarah Erickson Click To Tweet