I wish someone had whispered into my ear on my baptismal day long ago: Just so you know, it’s okay if you wrestle, if you struggle, if you doubt.
I wrestle often with Scriptures like John 14:14, “If you ask anything of me in my name, I will do it,” and Matthew 7:7-8, “Ask, and it will be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened.” Oh, how I have wrestled.
These Scriptures can be incredibly confusing when you’ve asked something good of Jesus, in His name, countless times—not necessarily even for yourself, but for another person—and still have not received an answer. I read Scriptures like these, and I sit with them. And in that sitting, I want to ask Jesus, “But what about the times when I have asked something of You and the answer was ‘no’?”
Perhaps you have been there.
We all come to these moments at different times in our lives—these moments of difficulty, of doubt, of wrestling. We have countless points in our journeys of faith when believing and trusting in God’s Word is hard, or confusing, or just plain doesn’t make sense at all. It is a part of every faith journey.
I am still in a place of wrestling with things that come to mind when I read this Scripture. I am still very confused about things that I have asked in Jesus’ name, things to which His response did not correspond in my mind and heart with what He said in today’s Gospel.
And I always need to remind myself that it is okay to be in this place, but what I would add to that whisper in my ear on that glorious day of my Baptism is this: The most important thing is to invite Jesus to sit with you in that place. He wants to sit with you there, to be with you there, to open His heart and speak to you there. Let Him.
Is there a wrestling, a struggle, a doubt into which you need to invite Jesus today?
Lord Jesus, sit with me today as I try to open my heart to You.
Thank you for being here.
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