“Anyone who does not remain in me will be thrown out like a branch and wither.” // John 15:6
I shuffled forward in the confessional line, head bowed, body stiff. It had been almost twelve weeks since my c-section and longer since my last Confession, and I felt dry, distanced, and apathetic. Do I really need to be here? Are any of my sins that serious? Am I going to feel different afterwards anyway? I set my thoughts aside and focused on what I knew to be true: Jesus is the vine and when I am not connected to Him, I die.
Growing up, my dad took us to Confession once a month on Saturdays. Then as a young adult, I took a more of a go-as-needed approach. In grad school, surrounded by devout Catholics, I went regularly, but after then three years later my foray into working meant I slacked a bit. Young motherhood was drowning in babies (three in three years) and prayer was mostly, Lord, help. But once my oldest was seven or eight, I caught my breath a bit and began weekly Holy Hours and weekly Confession.
Until the pandemic hit, my fifth baby was born via caesarean, and my opportunity to stay connected to the Vine through the Sacrament of Confession was stymied.
I slowly have had to rebuild this habit, pushing away the temptations from the devil to avoid going, to minimize my sins, to feel numb about the vine pulsing life into me, the branch. I’m a year out from birth and still rebuilding the habit, so take heart.
Wherever you are, whatever parts of your heart are withered, numb, dry, Jesus will bring you new life. He absolutely wants to not only restore you but draw you closer to Him. Acknowledge and set aside your inhibitions and get to Confession this week.
His healing is real, and His healing is for you.Jesus will bring you new life. // Nell O'Leary Click To Tweet