As I read this opening of Saint Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians, I can’t help but cringe just a little.
He is so filled with love, and joy, and exuberance for his brothers and sisters in Christ. He delights in them. I am forced to reflect on my last interpersonal interchange—the last time I looked eye-to-eye with someone. I did not convey delight. I conveyed irritation. And I conveyed this irritation to one of my most precious people, in whom I do truly delight.
In the day-to-day, tedious exchanges of life, it is easy and even natural to show irritation, even to those in whom we delight. I find that too often I save my smiles for the strangers in the check-out line or the drive-through window, and yet I turn to scowl at the bickering voices in the backseat. Often our lives are filled with false flattery for strangers and snarky remarks and short-tempered quips for loved ones.
When I show such duplicity of the soul, I am exhibiting both hypocrisy and a lack of self-control. If I can keep my self-control in check for the stranger, why can I not do the same for the loved one? When I fail to do so, I am no better than the scribes whom Jesus chastises in today’s Gospel.
Our subtle and not so subtle exchanges seem insignificant in the moment, but the cumulative effect is damaging to the relationship. In whom do you delight? Do you show them your delight? Let us try to be especially aware this week of how we treat those in your inner circle and make adjustments if needed. We are gifted with these loved ones; let’s find delight in them.
In whom do you delight? Click To TweetSaint John Chrysostom gives us great insights into this Scripture passage this this homily.
Dr. MaryRuth Hackett is the host of the podcast Parenting Smarts. She loves historical fiction, dark chocolate, watching her children play soccer, a good cup of coffee (decaf please) and the quiet of the early morning. She holds a PhD in Educational Psychology and has a passion for helping parents understand the way their children grow and develop. She is a contributing author to our children’s devotional prayer book, Rise Up and the author of our Blessed Conversations: Leader Guide found here. You can find out more about her here.
Were you in my home yesterday? Wow I needed this! Even though I knew I was moody and everything/one was irritating me and I was acting unloving, I could not change. I prayed but no change. I am going to take up your challenge today and hopefully when those hormonal shifts happen I can exercise that self control! Thank you for your wisdom! Blessings!
Good morning and I, too, was struck by the greeting of Paul. I had just sent a note for an invite to RCIA and had so wished I had included that joyous entry!
The light seems to shine bright for others, but you are so correct that the interior light dims with my interaction with my husband. I must remember to go to the well and fill to the brim with joy that overflows even in the corners of my home.
Wow. So convicting. Thank you for your words. I pray for the grace of self control and patience and kindness. May the fruits of the Spirit be strengthened in us all. Amen
I think you were in my home yesterday, too! Thank you for your reminder of the effect on relationship. Just because I feel safe with them doesn’t mean I can lash out at them. I, too, am taking the challenge to delight in those closest to me. Thank you
I struggle with this EVERY day. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone. I continue to try to remember to treat family members as I treat my friends.
Your words speak such truth! I definitely needed to read this today. 💜
“In whom do you delight?” is going on a post-it note right now! Thank you for this reminder and challenge to always show love, even when it’s not the eaiest.
Love that!!!
Thank you for your words. They hit a bit too close to home and I really needed that. God Bless you and yours.
Thank you for the reminder, I’m often short with my children after a long day. How are they suppose to learn to delight if I can’t be delightful for them.
My goodness this was timely. I’m daily caregiver for my husband who is elderly and has multiple health problems. Sometimes I find myself being cranky and impatient and totally unable to make the adjustment Dr. Hackett talked about. Her writing reminded me to remember to look for God in those he has given me to care for.