Lately, it feels like I have been living in a storm.
I am the parent of a child with special health needs and, for the first time since he was born six years ago, the stress of it has become too much. My weeks are filled with a constant underlying anxiety, punctuated by days where it becomes debilitating. I have tried so many different things to alleviate my anxiety, and while I have found some relief, this cross has not been taken from me. Sometimes I wonder if my heart will ever know peace again.
“Peace I leave you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid” (John 14:27).
The idea that the peace that Jesus gives is different from the peace that the world has to offer is not new to me, but lately it has been more of a challenge for me to believe it. Daily I need to remind myself that I have the peace of Christ even though my life is chaotic. I have the peace of Christ even though my child is in the hospital. I have the peace of Christ even though the future is uncertain. I have the peace of Christ even though I feel anxious.
I have peace, not because I feel it, but because Jesus said He would give it, and I choose to believe His words.
In time there will be an end to my present afflictions, but until then I keep coming back to His promise of peace, rooted like a mighty oak tree in the middle of my stormy life.
I have the peace of Christ even though my life is chaotic. Click To TweetThis mighty Saint wrote on the definition of peace in article three and it is both illuminating and comforting.
Anna Coyne is a wife, mother, and convert to the Catholic Faith. She is a classically trained pianist who, after teaching for ten years now, stays home with her three young children but still manages to flex her creative muscles through writing, knitting, and gardening. She is proud to call Saint Paul home and loves everything about living in Minnesota, except for winter. You can find out more about her here.
Prayers for you and your son.
Thank you, Beth!
I’m praying for you, your son and your family today Anna. Peace be with you.
Thank you, Amanda!!
I, too, am praying for you, your son and our family and that the peace you seek envelopes you.
Thank you, Elizabeth!
Thank you, Anna. You make a good point: that there is a difference between feeling God’s peace and knowing we have it. Jesus did give His peace to us. We can hold onto it and draw strength from it, even when we do not feel peaceful in our lives.
Totally. Amen!!
Words I needed to hear. Peace be with you.
Oh, so glad! May the peace of Jesus fill you today.
Anna you may not realize this, but you have given a peace to so many today! God has used you at this moment to give the same peace that he left all of us! That is not a peace of this world! Your trust and faith is an example of why we need to cling tight to our Lord! He especially wants you and your Love and friendship right now in this moment and time! My prayers for strength, perseverance, healing for your son and a peace that can be felt by so many that will be praying for you!
Thank you for this very encouraging comment!! It really means a lot to me.
Hi Anna,
I met you at the BIS retreat, back corner with our babies. You shared a small bit about your family, and I thought then and I think now, “wow, this is what evangelism looks like, and it is beautiful.” You are beautiful. We are praying for you!
Oh hey Kayla!! Yes, I remember you! Thank you for commenting and for your kind words.
Thank you for giving us all the knowledge that if someday the Lord test us we can persevere though. My prayers are with you and you son. Again thank you for sharing. God bless you always.
I feel you, sister! First of all, thank you for your reflections, I look forward to reading them each day. I have 2 teenagers, a 19 yr old daughter and an 18 yr old son with special needs. He is graduating high school tomorrow. I literally can’t believe we are here as these last 18 years have brought many dark days for me with IEPs, therapies, surgeries, hospital stays and challenges. He has an intellectual disability, a mind of an 8 yr old, and is now leaving the protective bubble of a self-contained classroom and inclusive high school for an unknown world of employment as he gains more independence. Like you, it’s so easy for me to get caught up in a spiral of fear and doubt worrying about what comes next and what happens if I’m not there to protect him and what if and what if… Then we experience a blessing from out of nowhere, like a new program he can participate in, and I am reminded that God has this. God has him. God has everything already figured out without my help….imagine that! I don’t need to worry about the next few months or years for him or my daughter. This goes for all of us moms. I pray you find hope especially in your most fearful moments. You are doing God’s work so He will take care of you! God bless!