“Because he is found by those who do not test him, and manifests himself to those who do not disbelieve him” (Wisdom 1:2).
I am constantly ebbing and flowing between “I can be a great saint” and “Lord, I did it again.” A Catholic might say, “Those are two needed components to salvation—great hope and great repentance.” If I may add though, sometimes my faith doesn’t feel really great. Sometimes I fall into going through the motions to simply get through it.
Just this past Sunday, I was sitting at Mass, and I caught myself looking at the ceiling during the Eucharistic Prayer. I sat there and felt awful about it. I wondered, “If the Holy Mother was sitting next to me right now she’d be giving the side eye.”
Then I smiled.
I smiled and thought, I need You to save me me from my unbelief. I need a Savior. It was my moment of great poverty that allowed for me to see that the lowly moments of my faith life give God an opportunity to reveal to me Who He is.
Today, I write for the women who don’t know if they can keep on believing in a Faith they don’t understand or are bored with. I want to meet you where you are at. To these sisters, I say call upon the Holy Spirit and let Him lead you and do the work when you feel you can’t. You are not a failure in your faith (see Catechism of the Catholic Church § 152).
Pray with me:
Holy Spirit, my faith feels fragile right now. I don’t feel like going to Mass or like praying my rosary. I am tired. I ask for signs and receive nothing. Please have mercy on me and reveal to me Who Jesus is. Open my heart today.Let Him lead you. // Kiki Rocha Click To Tweet
Thank you for being here.
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