Speaking is not my strong suite.
I fumble over words. I mix up terms that I know well and have a hard time articulating what I mean. I get scared to assert things I’ve studied or know with certainty for fear of messing up or misremembering. It could be something very important or something inconsequential like a recipe I’ve made hundreds of times and have memorized until you ask me for it—things I absolutely know and could write down with ease, but when asked to say them aloud, my mind and mouth just don’t connect.
I become embarrassed and am certain that whomever I am talking with thinks I am clueless and/or fake.
What’s worse, I begin to think that about myself and often choose not to participate in engaging discussions that would otherwise bring me joy.
And then I go home, fact-check what I wanted to say or maybe said with timidity, see that I was remembering correctly, and get mad at myself for not knowing my worth, that I do indeed have something to bring to the table. We all do.
Recently, to combat this anxiety of speaking, I have begun intentionally asking the Holy Spirit to guide my words in conversations and to help me remember my dignity as God’s beloved, no matter how important the topic.
My fear of saying the wrong thing hasn’t completely gone away, but I feel a new sense of peace, trusting that God will help guide my words in the big and small things.
And if I do mess up, it creates space for new mercies and forgiveness, which are gifts in and of themselves.
“[D]o not worry about how you are to speak or what you are to say. You will be given at that moment what you are to say. For it will not be you who speak but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you” (Matthew 10:19-20).
Your voice matters, sister. Use it! Invite the Holy Spirit to speak through you and your sweet heart—you may be surprised with the goodness that flows out.Invite the Holy Spirit to speak through you. // Sarah Rose Click To Tweet