The older I get, the less I claim to know. The world, with all its complicated brokenness, has undone so much of my certainty, and discerning how God is working in the brokenness often confounds me. Especially when it comes to my boys.
I have two of them now—neither born of my body, but both completely and utterly loved by me. When I look at them, I see God’s mercy. I see decades of praying and hoping and longing fulfilled. I see joy.
But I also see sorrow.
I see the sorrow of their birth mothers, who carried them in their bodies but couldn’t carry them in their arms. I see the tragedies that forced two beautiful women to make an unbearable choice. I see families forever missing one of their own.
I see my boys’ sorrow, too. They are loved. They are wanted. They are safe. They know nothing but joy right now. But there was sorrow before, when they were taken from the only home they’d ever known, and there will be sorrow again, as they wrestle with questions of identity, family, and culture.
I don’t just see all this occasionally. I see it all the time. Answered prayers and unanswered prayers. Fulfillment and loss. Joy and tragedy. It runs and climbs and shouts before my eyes every moment I’m awake.
Living in this tension would be impossible, if not for the Cross. When I cast my eyes there, I’m consoled. For I remember God is always with us, working in the brokenness to lead us to life.
In ancient Israel, God used the cruelty of Joseph’s brothers to save His people. On Calvary, He brought the world’s greatest good out of the world’s greatest evil. And now, in my home, He works through my boys’ adoptions to lead every person involved to Himself.
It’s that way for you, too. Whatever tension you live in, God is with you; nothing is outside of His Providence. So, cling to the hope that someday, when you see what God has done in your present sorrow, you too will shout, “The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone, by the Lord has this been done, and it is wonderful in our eyes!” (Psalm 118:22-23).God is always with us. // Emily Stimpson Chapman Click To Tweet
What tensions do you sit with today? Stop by the tabernacle if you can or find livestream Adoration on the web; bring it all to Jesus.
Thank you for being here.
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