I am chronically indecisive.
From being unable to select a restaurant to spending thirty minutes selecting a planner at the store, what I desire is not always clear to me. I probably say, “You choose, I’m good with anything!” at least once a day.
A few years ago, I teetered with the daunting task of choosing which college to attend. For my hesitant little heart, it was the perfect storm. I visited campuses all over the country, witnessed endless numbers of students studying on green quads, and partook in my fair share of school tours. On every tour I attended, the student guide always exclaimed, “From the moment I stepped on campus, I knew this was the school for me.”
My decision was not as simple as that.
I felt riddled with doubt and uncertainty. I asked myself, Was the other school a better fit? Is it wrong that I didn’t feel an immediate “pull” to this campus? I weighed my options back and forth until I committed to a college at the very end of the deadline.
I am overjoyed to say that my hesitation didn’t get the best of me; my sweet, sunny university and all of the friendships and growth I have experienced are, simply put, blessings.
Sister, if you are anything like me, you may not experience an intense pull between everyday decisions like drinking an iced coffee or a hot latte. Between wearing a skirt or jeans. Or even between choosing what college to attend, what career move to make, or who to date.
What a joy, then, it is to know we all have a deep, inner longing for God!
“O God, you are my God whom I seek; for you my flesh pines and my soul thirsts” (Psalm 63:2).
Our souls are fashioned for Heaven. Our hearts uniquely yearn for sainthood. The deep desire we possess for God should encourage us to set aside the struggle of indecision, to be bold in our witness and unquestionable in our pursuit of Him.
But let us rest in peace, knowing full well that the answer to our deepest thirst rests in God alone.