I can picture myself in the synagogue, standing by the wall. I can see the man with the unclean spirit cry out, “What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us?” (Mark 1:24) and I gasp like a woman found out.
There is a huge difference between the demonic possession the man in today’s Gospel suffered and the way I cling to my favorite wounds and sins, but I can still see the connection. There are obvious places in my heart and life where I need healing and freedom, but I am afraid to let go and let God. I cling to the woundedness, afraid of how much it might hurt to let Jesus purify and restore. I protect my vanity and pride, worried that allowing the Holy Spirit near will humiliate, will destroy me.
“I know who you are – the Holy One of God,” I call out in fear (Mark 1:24). What I’m really saying is, “Stay away! I don’t trust You!” But Jesus sees right through it all and He speaks to me with love. He does not rebuke me the way He did the unclean spirit (Mark 1:25), but gently and kindly He asks me to open my heart to Him and to allow Him into the mess, the suffering, the sin. He never gets tired of asking but lovingly and patiently reminds me, again and again, that He has come to save and not destroy.
He will have everything to do with me, for He sees me as good.He will have everything to do with me, for He sees me as good. Click To Tweet
Have you listened to Audrey Assad’s new song, Wounded Healer? Pull out your journal and ponder over these lyrics today.
Bonnie Engstrom is a writer, baker, speaker, and homemaker. She, her husband, and seven children live in central Illinois, and her son’s alleged miraculous healing through the intercession of Venerable Fulton Sheen was submitted to the Vatican for Sheen’s beatification. Bonnie pretends she has a green thumb, bakes a fantastic chocolate chip cookie, loves naps and chai tea, and blogs. You can find out more about her here. She is the author of the Blessed Conversations Mystery: Believe study found here.