Longing to Participate

“What?!” I imagine myself exclaiming in disbelief and increased excitement while watching the great drama unfold. “What?!” I shout again, as my jaw hangs open with every new twist in the story.

Each time I re-read these stories, this is my soul’s reaction: What?! Are you kidding me right now, God? You chose the guy breathing murderous threats to join Your disciples and proclaim Your Word?

Of course He did. Jesus, who died for Saul just as much as He died for me, wanted Saul and called him by name. Saul (whom we know now as Saint Paul) heard that great invitation that came with blinding light and booming voice: “Now get up and go. . .” (Acts 9:6) And without hesitation, Saul got up! He followed directions, shared a meal with Ananias who restored his sight and baptized him, and recovered his strength.

How I long for that kind of direction, that kind of blinding light to shock my system into realizing how far off-course I’ve strayed. I long to hear the voice guiding me to truth and life, inviting me to participate in the only Love and Life that can satisfy my soul’s longings.

The Lord invites you and me into this same divine drama. Jesus Christ, the Man who spoke to the Jews about the Eucharist and the promise of everlasting Life to anyone who eats that bread (John 6:58), invites you and me every Mass. It is there that we are called, there that we are nourished, there that we recover our strength. When we participate in the Mass and allow Jesus to abide in us, we’re drawn more into the drama that unfolds as God shapes us in His love.

I’m ashamed of how often I don’t let the reality of what I consume sink into my body and soul and take shape. Today, I’m committing to more time in Adoration, and a heart that is more ready and open to receive our Lord in the Eucharist. I long for Him to abide in me and strengthen me.

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Will you join me to commit to more frequent Adoration? Even a quick visit in front of the Tabernacle allows time and space for Christ to move in us and shape us.

Gina Fensterer is a Colorado native at heart, but the West Coast beach life suits her just fine. She currently lives in small coastal area of California with her husband and six children. She loves the Jesus prayer, coffee at any time of day, homemade salsa, photography, and sleepy toddler snuggles. You can find out more about her here.


  • Reply
    April 20, 2018 at 9:43 am

    Yesterday I was really aware for the first time about the Ethiopian who was reading Isaiah and now, today, for the first time, Ananias is a person that I didn’t even realize was in the story of Saul’s conversion. I have been a Bible reader for years. I am going to have to ask Ananias to pray that certain persons who are very dear to me, come back to our beautiful Catholic faith.

    • Reply
      April 21, 2018 at 9:46 pm

      That is a wonderful idea! I need to remember to do that, too.

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