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Light in the Battlefield

There are certain events that are permanently seared into my memory—the fall of the World Trade Center, the fall of the stock market, and the fall of my faith in our Church.

I remember when the abuse reports started to roll in. My phone was aglow with each new story and my heart grew weary with each new offense. And for a time, I wanted to rid myself of it all—to turn my back, to walk away, to say goodbye. I wanted to erase my name from this hurting family of believers and diverge on my own journey toward solace and comfort and hope.

And that’s when I thought about the Eucharist and of all the hope It holds. Because even in the deep, dark parts of our hearts, He leads us to the light. And it is the light that should be fought for. It is the light that keeps me in this battle.

Today’s First Reading spoke directly to this warring heart of mine. Because when the people refused to rebuild the house of the Lord, the prophet Haggai responded:

“Is it time for you to dwell in your paneled houses while this house lies in ruins?” (Haggai 1:4)

Sisters, right now our Church is in ruins. But the light, the light is still here. May we find the strength within to fight through the darkness, to hold strong to our convictions, and to find healing in Him—our light, our love, our hope.

He leads us to the light. And it is the light that should be fought for. // @iambritcal Click To Tweet

Blessed is She wrote a response in fall 2018 to the newest scandal, in case it can give you comfort or direction.

Brittany Calavitta is an enthusiastic advocate for a good book, strong coffee, and a hopeful heart. After battling years of infertility, she and her husband welcomed their first child on September 11, 2016. You can find out more about her here.

8 Comments

  • Reply
    Ida Adams
    September 26, 2019 at 7:07 am

    It could’ve been me writing this, so close it is to what I felt, still feel. Church used to be where I went to become whole. And now, to be brutally honest, I’m not enjoying it much. For a different reason. Our priests are non-Americans. Heavily accented English. Hard to understand. But I go – for the Eucharist. That is where I find my strength.
    Thank you for a beautiful piece. And yes, I believe our beloved church will survive. Our Lord said so: Matthew 16:18

    • Reply
      Jm
      September 26, 2019 at 9:06 am

      I too have trouble understanding some priests. I never understood why we don’t give our foreign born priest voice lessons like newscaster use to have to rid them of their accents. It seems like it would help the situation. I adore my priest, but it is a struggle and I’m sure I would have a better relationship with him if that roadblock was not there.

    • Reply
      Bre
      September 27, 2019 at 1:02 am

      We have struggled through the broken English of many priests as well and I agree it makes focus challenging…yet as you said, thank God for the Eucharist…and the priest whose hands are acting for Christ! Thank God!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 I’ve done two things that have helped “understand” them better:
      Pray for vocations!! Especially here in the United States as part of the reason we have ESL priests is the shortage here.
      I also imagine how difficult it must be for these fathers who know they are not understood and are far from their family…the sacrifice and silent suffering they may endure being in a foreign country.

      Peace be with you sisters in Christ!

  • Reply
    Elaine
    September 26, 2019 at 7:18 am

    That exact verse was interpreted the exact same way in my own heart this morning, before I even read what you said further down. You are SO right! Thank you for sharing!

  • Reply
    Alisa Kostecka
    September 26, 2019 at 8:23 am

    Ida, I am with you in the pain and disgust of scandal plus dealing with disappointing parish life. A little further into the book of Haggai may have an antidote: “And so the LORD stirred up the SPIRIT… -[of the governor and priests, but also] of all the remnant of the people, so that they came to do the work in the house of the LORD of hosts their God…” (Hg1:14)
    “Be strong all you people of the land and work! For I am with you!
    My SPIRIT remains in your midst; DO NOT FEAR!” (Hg2:4-5)
    Maybe we could all ask for a little bit of that same creative SPIRIT to contribute our timber to the rebuilding of this temple, this dwelling place for God. Peace.

  • Reply
    Teresa Carroll
    September 26, 2019 at 9:41 am

    Yes to everything you have said! Also, if anyone feels compelled, Bishop Robert Barron wrote a very well written, “Letter to a Suffering Church”, when bought in bulk (20) $1 each, because he wants everyone to read it. It is about the sexual abuse crisis. He is brutally honest, and it is not long. Something to check into! Wordonfire.org Sufferingchurchbook.com

  • Reply
    Audra Le
    September 26, 2019 at 12:49 pm

    Brittany, thank you for this. Thank you for using this platform to be honest and real. Our Church is so very broken and has been for longer than will ever know, I’m sure. But it is only through the Light and real, honest, vulnerable discussion that true healing can happen. I’m so grateful for your message and bravery this morning.

  • Reply
    Bre
    September 27, 2019 at 8:53 am

    We have struggled through the broken English of many priests as well and I agree it makes focus challenging…yet as you said, thank God for the Eucharist…and the priest whose hands are acting for Christ! Thank God!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 I’ve done two things that have helped “understand” them better:
    Pray for vocations!! Especially here in the United States as part of the reason we have ESL priests is the shortage here.
    I also imagine how difficult it must be for these fathers who know they are not understood and are far from their family…the sacrifice and silent suffering they may endure being in a foreign country.

    Peace be with you sisters in Christ!

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