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In Good Company

I’ve been open about this before, and maybe it’s a tired old story, but I struggle a lot with doubt and dryness in my spiritual life. It can seem odd to some, discouraging to others, and baffling to the rest. How can you say you are a Christian and not be sure that you believe it at times? No one has directly asked me that, but I make a lot of assumptions about what people might think if they knew.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by confidence in Him. But the truth is, most of the time I feel like I’m standing in the dark, reaching out waiting to see if something will reach across the void and assure me that I’m not alone. It can be a scary place sometimes. So what draws me back? Today’s psalm is one of my prayers:

“Make me understand the way of your precepts, and I will meditate on your wondrous deeds.”

Jesus, help me understand, because sometimes I just don’t.

“The way of truth I have chosen; I have set your ordinances before me.”

I choose you, Jesus. I choose You today, in this moment.

“Give me discernment, that I may observe your law and keep it with all my heart.”

When I’ve mulled over all the options, I always come back to Your commandments.

“And I will keep your law continually, forever and ever”

Where else can I go, Lord? Your laws are truth.

Maybe you have been blessed with a faith that flows free and easy, and what a beautiful precious gift! Maybe you’re like me, and your faith life is a little drier, slower, rougher around the edges, but you keep coming back because something deep within you says this is where you need to be. Jesus said, “My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and act on it.” (Luke 8:21)

I know that when I follow His commandments of love, I am in good company.

I know that when I follow His commandments of love, I am in good company. Click To Tweet

Are you in a place of dryness or darkness? You’re not alone, Sister! Reach out to a friend or trusted priest. You don’t have to face this by yourself.

Jacqueline Skemp is a daughter, sister, wife, and mother who endures living in Minnesota after leaving California for her one true love. You can find out more about her here.

9 Comments

  • Reply
    Maria Francesca
    September 25, 2018 at 2:38 am

    Exactly what i needed to hear this morning! So grateful coz this reasonates with me…good to know i’m not alone. It is well….
    Be blessed!

  • Reply
    Debbie wentworth
    September 25, 2018 at 5:57 am

    Have you lived your Cursillo?

  • Reply
    Kate Flood
    September 25, 2018 at 9:05 am

    I relate to this reflection big time – we hang on to those moments of overwhelming confidence so we can remind ourselves we have something to cling to when the dryness hits.
    Listen to Lauren Daigle’s new album Look Up Child…the whole thing…it’s amazing and can help bring us back to the joy we find in His love!!! (Also, sometimes I have to play her song Trust in You on repeat when I’m trying to climb back up to that place of joy in Him despite pain here on earth.)

  • Reply
    Jennifer
    September 25, 2018 at 9:46 am

    Thanks you so much for sharing! It’s amazing how I can be so sure in one moment & so unsure in the next. Sometimes I feel like a fake & a phony leading bible studies & voluntering with the youth. So glad you are bold enough to write for blessed is she and share your testimony! We are in good company. St. Theresa of Calcutta, pray for us 🙏🏻

  • Reply
    Margaret Chornay
    September 25, 2018 at 9:56 am

    Thank you for sharing so honestly. I think many who follow Jesus find themselves in this place at some point (or points) in their walk with Him. I am always comforted by the words of Saint Peter to Jesus, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” John 6:68

  • Reply
    Angi S.
    September 25, 2018 at 9:59 am

    As I read yesterday’s gospel calling us to let our lights shine brightly from the lamp stand, I kneeled at adoration asking Jesus to fill my empty lamp with His bountiful spiritual fuel. I too have been fighting against doubt, dryness and darkness. Thanks for sharing and reminding me that I am not alone in the valley trying to make my way back up to the mountain top.

  • Reply
    Mel
    September 25, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    I am with you, you are not alone! 🌸

  • Reply
    Benita
    September 25, 2018 at 10:04 pm

    This reflection brought to mind a favorite prayer of a beloves priest who has since passed away. “Lord, help me to know your will and do it.” So often I get caught up in the thought that I’m not doing God’s will if I don’t feel his consolation. This reflection really hit me today. We might not know God’s will all the time, but He will help us follow it.

  • Reply
    Katie
    October 2, 2018 at 5:14 pm

    I just saw this on Pinterest and I almost scrolled right past it, but something made me stop and click on the link and I’m so glad I did. I feel like this a lot, more than I’d like to admit, and I’ve always felt so alone in this feeling. It is so reassuring to know that other people feel like this too.

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