I woke early for daily Mass, hoping that the weekly schedule also applied to Saturdays. It’d be so long since I prayed without distraction in Mass (toddlers can’t help it), and after a grueling start to new routines in life, I needed peace and quiet. The door creaked open, to a dark sanctuary. The vigil candles and a single light on the tabernacle flickered a peaceful, holy light. Christ was present. I stayed even though there wasn’t the early Mass, and let the peace sink into my soul, as if the Lord rested His hand upon me (Psalm 139:5).
Later I sat in a corner booth of a local café, waiting on a decadent plate of French toast, and whispers from the Spirit met me again. Almost like Jesus Himself came to have coffee and chat with me, the first words He speaks in the Gospel popped out from the page. He reminded me that sin is real and will occur (Luke 17: 1), but there is hope for us. When I’m exasperated for the tenth time today that my children (or myself, let’s be honest) have screwed up, Jesus has already given me guidance for how to live in the face of sin.
Correct, repent, and forgive. Again, and again, and again.
I wish I wasn’t going to fall into sin, and I wish even more that I could better guide my children to avoid sin, but I find it comforting to hear Jesus acknowledge my weakness, and to guide me as I face it.
And the reassurance in the Psalms is like balm to my weary soul. Some days and weeks beat me down so much that even when I try to repent and forgive, I feel far from God. I feel as though I’m trudging along making slow progress in my spiritual life. But Jesus knows that, too. He understands “my thoughts from afar,” rests His hand upon me, waits for me even in my lowest and darkest trials. He is there for me, always, without fail.
Today I will pray that Christ will increase my faith and trust in His unfailing presence and guidance, just as the Apostles implored Jesus. As He increases my faith, I am confident that I will know His presence and guidance more and more in all I do.
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Pray with me for more faith, today.
Gina Fensterer is a Colorado native at heart, but the West Coast beach life suits her just fine. She currently lives in small coastal area of California with her husband and six children. She loves the Jesus prayer, coffee at any time of day, homemade salsa, photography, and sleepy toddler snuggles. You can find out more about her here.