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He Provides Pastures Along the Way

For almost a third of my life, I have lived with fierce panic attacks. The sweaty palms and dry mouth coupled with the violent shaking and thoughts of sheer terror creep up on me multiple times a month. In these agonizing moments, and frankly, even during times of peace, I slip into the mindset that this is always how it will be, that God has chosen this cross for me, and that all I can do is just hold on and survive. I suppose that may be the case, but when I fall into this pattern of thought, I forget about those theological virtues of hope and faith.

Isaiah reminded Jerusalem over and over that God has a plan, an infallible and perfect plan, and our resistance to His will only leads us to sin. And in my experience, sin is often rooted in impatience with the Lord’s timeline. My brain’s limited scope thinks if my prayers have not been answered by now then God is not faithful, and my current state of darkness is where I’ll remain.

Here’s the thing though: “Along the ways they shall find pasture, on every bare height shall their pastures be” (Isaiah 49:9). Along the way, guys. Along the way. God did not promise pasture in every moment of our lives, but He did promise that along the difficult way, we will find respitethere is where my hope lies.

My husband who sits up with me while I weather an episode. My friends who understand when I need to cancel plans. My mother who brings a meal or watches my kids. Stretches of days or weeks with no symptoms. God has provided green pastures for me along this journey. I just need to trust that He is leading me somewhere glorious. He’s leading you somewhere glorious, too, sister.

He is leading me somewhere glorious. He's leading you somewhere glorious, too, sister. Click To Tweet

This patron Saint of mental health is a powerful intercessor. Learn more about her today!

Jenna Hines has a teeny army of four children and is married to a bearded fellow named Mike. They are a homeschooling family who just moved out to the country. Find her books and illustrations in her shopYou can find out more about her here

4 Comments

  • Reply
    Mary C
    April 3, 2019 at 7:37 pm

    Jenna, thank you so much for being so open and honest with your mental health here. I suffer from BPD and know too well how bad it can get and how easy it is to forget hope and faith in an episode. It’s so hard to find someone who can relate to the struggles so thank you, especially for that reminder of the pastures God provides along the way. Love and blessings xx

    • Reply
      Jenna Hines
      April 5, 2019 at 11:40 pm

      Mary, thank you so much for the kind words. I am praying for green pastures for you. Remember, you are a warrior right alongside God. But never forget to take time to rest in His arms too.

  • Reply
    C.W.
    April 4, 2019 at 10:52 am

    “And in my experience, sin is often rooted in impatience with the Lord’s timeline. My brain’s limited scope thinks if my prayers have not been answered by now then God is not faithful, and my current state of darkness is where I’ll remain.” ~ How true this is, and how often it afflicts us! Another lie of the enemy – to try and make us believe that God is not faithful when our prayers aren’t answered right away. Thank you for this reflection – you are not alone in your struggles!

    • Reply
      Jenna Hines
      April 5, 2019 at 11:42 pm

      Yes! Isn’t that the truth. So many times I have wondered if He is really there. God, how could you let me suffer like this? But, we have such a limited view of His timeline. Look at any story in the Bible: God plays the long game, and it’s easy to see the big picture when we have the whole Bible laid out before us, but He is still writing our story. We just have to be patient.

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