As a child, I alphabetized my books on the shelf, kept a detailed inventory of my Halloween candy, and organized my socks by color. I grew into an adult who makes the lists, packs the bags, plans the meals, and loads the car with precision. I notice details and arrange things as efficiently as possible. I even catch myself thinking that hardly anyone else does these things as well as I do.
Eventually, a time will come when my efficiency won’t matter anymore. No matter how organized and prepared I am in life, I can’t control what happens after I die. This might be what scares me most about death—not pain, darkness, or even separation, but the idea that I won’t be in charge of what happens next. I won’t have the ability to arrange things to ensure that everyone will have what is needed at the right time.
The Apostle Thomas sometimes gets cast as the one who doesn’t trust Jesus quite enough. He’s always questioning, trying to nail down the specifics. I love him because he’s practical, like me. He tells Jesus, “Master, we don’t know where you are going; how can we know the way?” (John 14:5)
I wonder if Thomas thinks this might be something Jesus has missed, a detail He dropped inadvertently. Jesus has a lot on His mind, after all—maybe He’s just forgotten to outline the specifics. Good thing He has us there to remind Him, I want to tell Thomas. We’re on the job. We’re the details people. We have this covered.
When it comes to Jesus, can I trust that He knows what I need? Has He proven that He takes care with details, too—that my needs are important to Him?
I picture Jesus sighing, turning to me with a patient expression on His face, putting His hands on my shoulders. He hears me. He knows me. He made me the way I am. He answers me, speaking directly to the anxiety in my heart, just the way He spoke to Thomas.
I am the way.
Of course He knows what we need. He’s one of us. Jesus knows what it is to be tired, hungry, even cranky. But this Man is also God. He multiplies food to feed everyone with some left over. If He is the one preparing a place for us, we can trust Him.
Next time you find yourself worrying over the details of a situation you can’t control, try taking a deep breath and intentionally trusting Jesus to handle it for you by saying, “Jesus, I trust in you.” He knows your every need, and He’s got everything under control. You can trust Him.
Abbey Dupuy is the Assistant Theological Editor for Blessed is She and writes her life as a homeschooling mama of four frequently barefoot children. She muses about imperfect parenting, practicing gratitude, and celebrating the liturgical year with her young family on her blog. In her spare time, she enjoys running, gardening, coffee, and cookbooks, not usually at at the same time. You can find out more about her here.