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Hardening My Heart to the Tune of My Own Voice

If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts. (Psalm 95:8)

His crying punctuated the early evening air. The toddler who just wouldn’t, couldn’t go to sleep and stay asleep. The three year old who wanted someone to be with me and who really can’t sleep and who finds my bedroom is bothering me. I tossed the shirt I was folding, turned off the podcast, dumped my glass of recently poured La Croix (berry, of course), and tromped back up the stairs. I huffed, really. Indignant he was taking MY time, wasting MY already-spent energy, and making MY heart even harder.

Maybe it’s the project you worked really hard on that your supervisor edited and (botched in your opinion). Maybe it’s the group project you’re not the leader on whose leader took all your ideas and presented them as her own. Maybe it’s the boyfriend who insists he is the wounded party when you argue even though you were simply bringing up something that was bothering you.

I’d like to double down on being right and justified in all my reactions. If you work with others for your job, or you are a parent and attempt to work with your children, you’ll recognize this sentiment, perhaps. I’d suspect even the hermits struggle with this. I’d like to not only harden my heart, but harden it again.

Where is Jesus’ voice in all this self-righteousness? Do I leave room for Him or am I overwhelmed by my own voice? The voice of frustration, the voice of exhaustion, the voice of the one who knows it all. Let’s not harden our hearts to the tune of our own voices. Let’s let His voice fill us and soften up a bit.

Spend a few minutes in a calming quiet. Pray a decade of the Rosary. Ask the Lord to fill you with His voice.

Nell O’Leary is a recovering lawyer who blogs and sews while tending to her husband and four kiddos in the great city of Saint Paul, Minnesota. She serves as Managing Editor for Blessed is She and can down a iced chai tea latte in no time flat. Find out more about her here.

6 Comments

  • Reply
    Jess Costello
    October 16, 2017 at 9:03 am

    I needed this today. Thank you

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    October 16, 2017 at 11:51 am

    Great perspective- thank you!

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    October 17, 2017 at 7:58 pm

    I feel like this is speaking to me because it talks directly about my life- but like reading the Bible, I don’t quite understand it. Can someone explain it to me? Is my toddlers voice His voice? I hope I don’t sound stupid.

    • Reply
      Anonymous
      October 19, 2017 at 4:49 am

      Hi! You don’t sound stupid at all. I’d like to offer my own reflections on this devotional. From my perspective, I see it like this: in any situation in our life that leaves us frustrated, tired, or in any way negative – to not let these thoughts overwhelm us. For example, as a student I get overwhelmed with school or frustrated when I don’t get it right away. My heart becomes hardened because I feel too tired or worn down. I turn inward and focus on the negativity, and then sometimes I use these emotions and lash out at others. In the author’s case, her heart became hardened because her toddler couldn’t sleep – and so she saw it as him ‘wasting’ her time.

      In these moments, God asks us to invite Him in and to not focus inward. When we take time to hear Him, our hearts become softened. For example, when I take time to be still and listen to Him, despite stress in school, I hear from him the joys of receiving an education, of being able to study something I enjoy, or to focus so that I can get more things done and have time to spend with other people.

      Happy or sad- the Lord tells us to invite Him in our lives. When we speak to Him, we are able to be tuned to His voice – what He wants from us, How he loves us, and what He is trying to tell us. This is made easier each day if we come to Him, and have our hearts be softened. Otherwise, it is harder to hear him.

  • Reply
    Amy
    October 20, 2017 at 6:05 am

    Thanks for this explanation. I really needed to hear this right now in my life.

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