Feeling Unworthy to Follow

I wonder if Matthew felt unworthy. I wonder if he thought twice when Jesus said to him, “Follow me.” Scripture tells us, “[Matthew] got up and followed him.” (Matthew 9:9) But did he hesitate? Did he wonder why, against all cultural and societal standards, Jesus wanted to spend time with him?

As I reflect upon the call of Saint Matthew, I think about where the Lord has asked me to follow Him in my own life. At times, I have felt unworthy of His call. Me, Lord? You want me to do this? Surely there must be someone better suited, someone holier to do what You ask. But the truth is this: God pours His graces upon those who answer when He calls. God will be with you in His will for you.

Matthew the tax collector and sinner is now a Saint. We are all called to this radical transformation, sisters. We are all sinners, called to be Saints. Where is He calling you in this season of your life? What is He calling you out of, and perhaps more importantly, what is He calling you into?

In his Letter to the Ephesians, Saint Paul urges us “to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received.” (Ephesians 4:1) This beautiful reading reminds us that we are given different spiritual gifts; we have different vocations, different charisms. Yet in these many varied ways, we are all called to build up the Body of Christ. This call is our hope.

Just as He did to Saint Matthew, Jesus says to each of us, “Follow me.” How will your story continue? How will you live a life worthy of His call? Get up, today, sisters. Let’s go. Let’s follow Him.

Jesus, we are humbled in Your presence. We boldly ask that you grant us the courage and the grace to become Saints. Saint Matthew, pray for us!

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Elise Howe is a devoted wife, momma, vocal artist and teacher. She currently resides in New York City, though she will always be a Midwestern gal at heart. Elise has a heart for ministry, dark chocolate (but not too dark) and coffee with a generous amount of cream + sugar. Find out  more about her here.

1 Comment

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    September 21, 2017 at 2:42 pm

    Right now in my life I have been struggling with what exactly it looks like for me to be a witness to the Lord. I have been struggling with what exactly it looks like for me to love my parents right now. I am attending a college in my home town and still living at home. Recently feelings of anger and impatience have been rising up within me whenever my mother lays down rules or asks me to do chores around the house. At many times I have attempted to discuss with my parents what my desires are, and they continue to be stubborn about their position. I have been praying really hard about this because I want to be able to love my parents. Now it is becoming more clear to me that the Lord is challenging me to grow in true, selfless love. On many occasions I have been selfish or irresponsible. I realize I most likely cannot change my parents’ minds. However, I can change myself. I can rely on God’s grace and strive to overcome bad habits, pay more attention, work on time management, and show my parents that I really do care about them. This is a painful process of dying to myself and it really is a challenge, but I know it is what I need to do. God is making it exceptionally clear to me that I am called to grow in this situation. I am called to be patient and to persevere. It is almost comical how much it seems that everything inside of me is trying to resist this call, but I have been praying for more grace and that I will see the Lord in my parents instead of seeing only their imperfections. I have realized in this how much I, too, am a sinner and how much I need God’s grace. I pray that I will be able to answer God’s call in a way more similar to the way Matthew answered God’s call.

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