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Be Strong and Fear Not!

“Thus says the Lord: Say to those whose hearts are frightened: Be strong, fear not!” (Isaiah 35:4)

The moment I read those words, tears began to fall. I needed to hear that. These last few weeks, my heart has been heavy because my mom’s cancer came back. When I heard the news, it hit me hard. Normally, I cry, grieve, and then I’m okay again. This time, I randomly broke out in tears for days.

We canceled our annual summer trip and planned to go to my parents instead and throw a big birthday party for my mom. I tried to psych myself up for it, but everything in me rebelled and I didn’t want to go. I didn’t know why I was feeling this way and begged God to take those feelings from me. But He didn’t.

During the drive to my mom’s, I fell into sobs. I didn’t want to see my mom sick. I didn’t want to face the fact that she could die. The heaviness remained and I just keep pleading with God to help me accept her illness.

Finally, after my mom’s party and seeing her happy and surrounded by so much love, the heaviness passed and peace came. I knew Our Lord would strengthen my mom and take care of her. I knew He would provide me the strength I needed to help her and to accept His will.

This morning I got the news that my mom’s cancer is much worse than we thought, and the prognosis wasn’t good, but I didn’t break down this time. God’s peace was immediate and my heart is trusting that He will hold her close and provide for her.

Sometimes God’s answers are so instantaneous that it’s like a little miracle. But sometimes prayers are not answered right away and we struggle under the weight of our cross. I don’t know why it took so long for the fear to subside and for the weight to be lifted the first time. Looking back, I think God was stretching me and teaching me how to believe and trust even when all my emotions wanted to do otherwise. He was reminding me that, as long and dark as the night may seem, the light of the morning sun will always shine once again.

As long and dark as the night may seem, the light of the morning sun will always shine once again. Click To Tweet

If you are carrying a cross, lean on Christ, even if it feels like relief is slow in coming. He will not abandon you.

Bobbi Rol is a wife, mama and blogger living on the Monterey Bay in CA with her husband, teen daughter, and three rambunctious boys. When she is not dodging light sabers or stepping on Legos, she can be found outside with her family, catching a late night movie, or decorating her planner. You can find out more about her here.

7 Comments

  • Reply
    Claire
    September 9, 2018 at 7:29 am

    I’m so sorry for what you’re going through with your mother. I will keep your family in prayer.

  • Reply
    Amy
    September 9, 2018 at 8:11 am

    I’m going through same thing with my dad. He isn’t in church and needs many prayers. May the Lord grant us peace and understanding through this process….

  • Reply
    Jacquella Manuel
    September 9, 2018 at 8:53 am

    Prayers are with you and your mother as you both face the many up and downs if your mom’s illness. May the Lord wrap Gis living arms around you in thevdats ahead. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    September 9, 2018 at 10:45 am

    I am so sorry to hear this- you and your family are in my prayers. Thank you for sharing this though, I’ve been struggling a lot lately and am going through a “spiritual drought” but hearing your words have brought me comfort and reminded me how God is always by my side.

  • Reply
    Melissa
    September 9, 2018 at 11:25 am

    Praying for you all and your loved ones at Mass today.

  • Reply
    Brian Klashinsky
    September 9, 2018 at 12:23 pm

    I would encourage you to purchase the book by Lee Stobel titled, ‘A Case For Miracles’ and while the entire book is awesome…read the introduction and then go directly to Chapter 7!

    God will be by your side as you journey with your Mom…

  • Reply
    Mary hamilton
    September 9, 2018 at 2:34 pm

    Dear, Bobbi, I will pray for you. I grieve the loss of my Mom and continue to struggle with that and everyday trials. Thank-you for the reminder to lean on Jesus. He is the Prince of Peace. God bless you!

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