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Am I On Call Waiting?

Memorial of Saint Martha

First Reading: Jeremiah 26:1-9

In the beginning of the reign of Jehoiakim,
son of Josiah, king of Judah,
this message came from the LORD:
Thus says the LORD:
Stand in the court of the house of the LORD
and speak to the people of all the cities of Judah
who come to worship in the house of the LORD;
whatever I command you, tell them, and omit nothing.
Perhaps they will listen and turn back,
each from his evil way,
so that I may repent of the evil I have planned to inflict upon them
for their evil deeds.
Say to them: Thus says the LORD:
If you disobey me,
not living according to the law I placed before you
and not listening to the words of my servants the prophets,
whom I send you constantly though you do not obey them,
I will treat this house like Shiloh,
and make this the city to which all the nations of the earth
shall refer when cursing another.

Now the priests, the prophets, and all the people
heard Jeremiah speak these words in the house of the LORD.
When Jeremiah finished speaking
all that the LORD bade him speak to all the people,
the priests and prophets laid hold of him, crying,
“You must be put to death!
Why do you prophesy in the name of the LORD:
‘This house shall be like Shiloh,’ and
‘This city shall be desolate and deserted’?”
And all the people gathered about Jeremiah in the house of the LORD.

Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 69:5, 8-10, 14

R. (14c) Lord, in your great love, answer me.
Those outnumber the hairs of my head
who hate me without cause.
Too many for my strength
are they who wrongfully are my enemies.
Must I restore what I did not steal?
R. Lord, in your great love, answer me.
Since for your sake I bear insult,
and shame covers my face.
I have become an outcast to my brothers,
a stranger to my mother’s sons,
Because zeal for your house consumes me,
and the insults of those who blaspheme you fall upon me.
R. Lord, in your great love, answer me.
But I pray to you, O LORD,
for the time of your favor, O God!
In your great kindness answer me
with your constant help.
R. Lord, in your great love, answer me.

Gospel: John 11:19-27

Many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary
to comfort them about their brother [Lazarus, who had died].
When Martha heard that Jesus was coming,
she went to meet him;
but Mary sat at home.
Martha said to Jesus,
“Lord, if you had been here,
my brother would not have died.
But even now I know that whatever you ask of God,
God will give you.”
Jesus said to her,
“Your brother will rise.”
Martha said to him,
“I know he will rise,
in the resurrection on the last day.”
Jesus told her,
“I am the resurrection and the life;
whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live,
and anyone who lives and believes in me will never die.
Do you believe this?”
She said to him, “Yes, Lord.
I have come to believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God,
the one who is coming into the world.”

NAB

DEV_JU29

When I was reading today’s Psalm, my inner voice was reading it like, “Lord, in your great love, answer me, LIKE NOW, COME ON. Um, hello? Answer me!

Sometimes I feel like I am on call waiting with God. Like I am listening to that horrible generic music with the occasional interruption of, Please stay on the line as your call is very important to God. You’re the next caller.

Most of the time, my prayers consist of a generic blanket of gratitude for the blessings of my life. I know I am blessed and I do not forget that. I met and married the love of my life. We have a beautiful daughter and a son on-the-way. I’m a dentist who gets to both work part-time and be home with my family, too. I am blessed. And I remember to thank God daily.

It’s not all perfect, of course.

I have my struggles. I have anxiety and control issues. People close to me are struggling in their faith lives. There are real difficulties and obstacles in our lives and I cannot wrap my head around them sometimes. I question why these things happen to my loved ones.

Why is it that I feel like I can ramble on freely about thanking the Lord for this or that but struggle to find the words for the hard times? Instead of turning freely to Him for help, I’ve built this wall between us of frustration and pain.

Am I distancing myself from God because I don’t want to hear the hard stuff from Him? When He’s asking for me to do trust Him? Follow Him? I think if I tell Him my troubles, I’ll be expected to trust and listen, too.

Martha trusted the Lord and turned to Him when she struggled. In return, not only did He help her grow in faith, but gave her more than she had even expected! When we can be like Martha, we can allow God to answer our prayers and bring good from our troubles in an even greater way than we expect!

I want to sit at His feet like Martha, open my suffering, and tell Him I believe He is the Christ, the Son of God. Then, maybe, just maybe, He’ll whisper something to my heart.

Do you put God on call waiting? How do you let go and allow His voice to wash over you like Martha?

photo credit

Samantha Aguinaldo-Wetterholm is a wife, mom, and dentist currently living in the Bay Area, California. You can find out more about her here.

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