So many stories feature heroes who were born for their adventure. And as a Catholic, I encounter so many saints that seem to have innately known exactly what they were called to do and who they were called to be with stunning confidence.
But then I ask that nagging question: What about me? Day in, day out, the patterns of my life can feel rote and aimless. The morning hustle to get myself on the train to work with everything I need for the day in hand. The struggle to fit it all in and still get the dishes done. So ordinary, so mundane. Are these the moments I was born to live? Is this the whole purpose for my life? Should I be doing something else? Something more?
Quietly, so quietly, God is putting me at ease, settling me even without the answers to my questions.
A meeting with my spiritual director: be aware. Keeping my eyes open to wonder in even the most frustrating day is a prayer, a connection to God.
A simple homily: keeping Christ in my plans. When looking ahead on my schedule, instead of doing a quick mental rundown, I can let Jesus know what I’m up to on both my simplest and most complicated days.
And noticing litanies everywhere – from a favorite song (“I Shall Not Want”) to a recommendation for the Litany of Humility. What if I could take these repetitive days and turn them toward God – a litany of actions and awareness in this busy and cyclical time of my life?
God knows where I am, where these days are leading me. “Do not worry about tomorrow,” Jesus says in the gospel of Matthew; “tomorrow will take care of itself.” I can only give God today – every day, over and over again in a litany of adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication.
Even those holy role models haven’t been born with a roadmap to heaven stamped on the inside of their eyelids. A prayer of Thomas Merton opens: “My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end.”
What lies ahead? God only knows. And I don’t mean that idiomatically – truly, only God knows for what I have been created. And for that I am thankful. I don’t have to figure it out on my own.
This road has a destination. I don’t know what it will look like, but I know that God is readying me to arrive, shaping me to his mysterious plans.
[Tweet “Are these the moments I was born to live?”]Brigid Hogan is a 20-something Midwesterner living in downtown Washington, DC, with a growing collection of houseplants. She enjoys reading, podcasts, and making friends with dogs.
Thank you, Brigid, for your blog post today. Discernment and the many questions and resources you mentioned have been popping up for this fellow 20-something as well 🙂 It was wonderful to relate, so thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the note, Alejandra! I think no matter what your 20s look like, they pretty invariably FEEL like this. At least we can all pray for one another to get through it!
Thanks for a great post and the encouragement!
Thank you!