I had a plan. He was pretty much perfect, and I knew exactly how things would go for us.
My imagination ran wild with ideas for the future which seemed inexpressibly bright and full of hope. All those St. Joseph novenas were finally being answered.
Then, that conversation happened. You know, the one where he says you’re not the one.
I remember the ironic warmth of the day and the sounds of laughter from a park nearby. The universe was blissfully unaware of my broken heart.
Looking Forward to the Future When the Present is Painful
How do we look forward to the future when the future just crumbled before our eyes?
As a musician, I continued traveling and performing and writing music. But really, I stood still for months. Life washed over me, but I didn’t move.
One rainy afternoon, I walked into my friend Kirsten’s house for a co-write. I know this is weird, but in Nashville, writing sessions are scheduled (as if creativity is something you can plan).
Kirsten asked how I was doing. Tears streamed down my face as I told her the story and my inability to let go of my version of happily ever after. She looked at me lovingly and explained that I wasn’t alone. And she finished by saying something strikingly beautiful:
Our neat and tidy idea of the future is never secure, but we are always securely held by the Father.
Preach, sister. I needed to hear that.
A Melody of this Moment
In light of this conversation, we wandered towards the piano and began to write lyrics….
I don’t have the answers I wish that I had
At the end of my questions is
One brave new step
I don’t have tomorrow
Just one more deep breathe
At the end of my sorrow is
One brave new step
It takes bravery to walk forward in a direction you never intended to walk. I am realizing the promise was never a comfortable, predictable life. God wants us to be brave, brave like Our Lady whose “yes” to a change of plans changed the world.
One Brave New Step
Today, there is so much uncertainty, but each brave new step brings us closer to a God Whose plan is for you to be with Him. We are always walking towards Home if we are walking by faith.
I’m reminded of a quote from my spiritual fairy godmother, Ann Voskamp:
Maybe grieving over plans changed is part of the plan to change us.
My friend and I finished “Brave New Step” in just a couple of hours. As Kirsten and I exchanged stories from friends who have miscarried, lost jobs, lost loved ones, lost their way, I realized quickly that my heartbreak wasn’t the only thing going on in the world. Many people were taking much braver steps than I was.
We are all living unplanned and unforeseen lives.
A Song of Thanks + Trust
A couple years later, I would be lying if I told you that I am always perfectly joyful in this new journey. This story does not end with me dating the Catholic Tim Tebow and out on a rescheduled (Coronavirus-free) world tour.
I honestly don’t know where I am being led, but I know Who is leading me.
That is enough of a reason to be brave.
I clung to the ashes
I didn’t want to forget
But I am ready to let go
Take one brave new step
This video was created by people around the world to thank all the brave health care workers who are working tirelessly and risking their own health to keep us safe during the Covid-19 pandemic.Brave New Step: When All Our Best Laid Plans Change #BISblog // Click To Tweet
Marie Miller is a singer/songwriter and mandolin player from the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia. She grew up on a small vineyard with her parents and nine siblings in an old house named Glenway. Her most notable performance was for Pope Francis and 700,000 attendees at the Festival of Families in Philadelphia, PA.